When their desire to expect a baby does not materialize in a spontaneous pregnancy, many couples turn to AMP (Assisted Reproductive Medicine) or AMP. Far from marital intimacy, we are caught in a medical protocol which becomes an essential intermediary in the realization of our project. As we try, our body is instrumentalised, stretched towards the realization of this child’s project.
Psychological support
Today, great progress has been made by medical teams to support couples who feel the need. During the attempts, we are supported so as not to let ourselves be overwhelmed by feelings of frustration, injustice, or even despair; to be able to refocus their expectations on the time of pregnancy, on the expected baby, and not on the sole desire to become parents in order to finally be like other couples. Sometimes, you have to get help from a psychologist, to find the path of dialogue with your companion if necessary. (and there is nothing to be ashamed of!)
Great concern
When pregnancy occurs, we experience it as a real victory, we feel a moment of great happiness, the one that accompanies the announcement of a happy event. And the same doubts or worries as in all future parents arise, sometimes more accentuated. After such a long wait, the desire is so strong to have a child, we both feel ready to welcome a baby and take care of it. But once the baby is born, it is sometimes idealized and we find ourselves confronted with crying, the establishment of sleep rhythms, small feeding concerns. Perinatal and early childhood professionals (doctors, midwives, nursery nurses) are there to help us prepare as calmly as possible for our new role, not as “perfect parents” but as “caring parents”.
This article is taken from Laurence Pernoud’s reference book: J’attends un enfant 2018 edition)