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Becoming a father: how does he feel about his new role?
“I realized by buying him his first bottle”
“I became a father on a bus… three weeks before my son was born. By that I mean he started to exist in my heart and in my head the day I bought him his first bottle. I was coming back from shopping by public transport, and there I realized that I was holding My Son’s bottle in my hand. For a hardened ex-bachelor, it was a shock but above all an immense feeling of happiness that I could not contain, I started to cry – of joy – like a child in the middle of strangers. “
Bertrand, father of Lucas (2 years old).
“His first cry was a revelation”
“I only became aware of my paternity when my son Max was born. I suspected during my partner’s pregnancy that a little bit would change my life, our life. But I had no idea how much! Stéphanie’s belly was rounded, the ultrasounds revealed a magnificent baby to us but I nevertheless felt outside, it was still abstract for me. When he let out his first cry and I held him in my arms, I was proud as a dad. “
Kamaal, dad of Max (8 years old) and Lola (5 years old).
“One year to really feel like a father”
“I’m a little ashamed to admit it… For my first boy as for the second, I didn’t feel like a father until they blew out their first candle. The two pregnancies had been somewhat naive discoveries, “miracles” of nature: transformation of the body – and of the mind! – from the mother, the birth of life revealed by ultrasounds.
Something actually happened during childbirth, a little bit of cabbage, vulnerable at will, needed me! No problem, I was there for him, ready to sprinkle my nights, stain my shirts and write off my scooter when needed. But no, no father-son magic yet.
For that, both Alexander and Raphael had to play with me (ball, frenzied brawls on the beds…), a beginning of communication (more subtle than laughter = happy and crying = it does not go). “
Philippe, father of Alexandre (8 years old) and Raphaël (3 years old).
“I felt like a father from the first ultrasound”
“From the first ultrasound, when I saw this little shape on the screen, my heart went boom and it was clear to me: I was a father. There was a new loved one in my life. The more the “can” of my companion became rounded, the more concrete it became. The baby took up more space in her womb and in my daily life. From the first months of pregnancy, we discussed each other’s role in the education of our child. Sarah was not yet born that she was already occupying all my thoughts. “
Martin, dad of Sarah (20 months).
“The feeling of being a father is built over time”
“Personally, I feel like I have discovered the different aspects of fatherhood as my children have developed. First of all, there was the physical and behavioral change of the mother-to-be: I felt that something was happening but without really knowing what turn would take the upheavals that were to follow! There were the ultrasounds, the kicking of the baby, but hey… it wasn’t that real to me. The day of the birth was a huge awakening. I was no longer in the imagination, but indeed in the reality of the event. It’s finally here, let’s go for the diapers! Then comes the step of taking on the role as a father. What attitude to adopt vis-à-vis this or that behavior of the little fellow … All of this is experienced and built on a daily basis, little by little. But I really realized my role as a father when I separated from my wife. I was in charge of my soul, no matter what. Finally, for me, fatherhood is experienced and built as life’s events occur: we don’t know what the future holds. So, we try to anticipate, we avoid missteps and then… we manage as well as possible! “
Erwann, father of Théo (10 years old) and Nils (7 years old).