Bedwetting or bedwetting

Tired of being woken up every night by a wet little thing? A little patience, all children end up being clean… but each at their own pace! If some do without diapers day and night from the age of 3, others will not pass the milestone of cleanliness before the age of 4 or 5 years.

What is bedwetting (bedwetting)?

What is nocturnal enuresis? THE’enuresis called nocturnal (or “bedwetting”) designates a condition characterized by the occurrence during sleep of involuntary and unconscious urination in children over five years of age.

What are the physiological causes of bedwetting?

At 3 years of age, the bladder is often too small to contain the pee all night long. However, he does not always have the neurological maturity necessary to react while he is sleeping soundly. This is why the little ones arise night accidentss. Over time, the muscles of the bladder mature and the child gains control. If the months go by without any improvement, the pediatrician will check that it is not a medical problem.

What are the psychological causes of bedwetting (bedwetting)?

Otherwise, the psychological causes can be multiple: he still feels like a baby, is a little afraid of growing up. By day, he makes efforts to progress in all areas and at night, he slackens: this is normal. the wet the bed can also be his way of waking up to escape a nightmare or to get his mother to leave the marital bed (Oedipus obliges). Repeated accidents, especially after a period of “dry” nights, can be the signal that something is disturbing him: the arrival of a little brother, moving, parents’ arguments, problems at school …

Bedwetting, a common disorder

Cleanliness comes naturally, but unfortunately for parents, it’s impossible to know when! At 5 years, about 10% of toddlers would still wet the bed. This disorder, called enuresis, continues a small number of them until adolescence. Fortunately, there are solutions to get rid of it.

What are the psychological consequences of bedwetting?

The psychological consequences Bedwetting can be important when it causes emotional injury and moral distress in the affected child. THE’enuresis is all the more difficult to live with, because of the anxiety and discomfort it causes.

Bedwetting: reassure him!

Of course, you would like your little one to stop wetting the bed quickly. But know that in wanting to urge him to pass the cleanliness cap, you might tense it up and have the opposite effect. One key word: patience! Is it slow to get clean? Avoid dramatizing. Almost 42% of children who still wet the bed at an advanced age are ashamed of it and 31% want to keep these little “worries” a secret. No need, therefore, to add a layer while scolding it … Remember: theenuresis is an involuntary, unconscious and uncontrolled disorder.

Bedwetting: how to fix it?

What treatment for enuresis? First of all :

— Reassure him by explaining to him that it was nothing to do with it and that, soon, his bladder will be strong enough to contain his pee all night;

– Protect him from mockery, especially those of his brothers and sisters;

— Encourage him to put his sheets and pajamas in the dirty himself when he wets them, to make him responsible;

— Encourage him to accept invitations to sleep with his friends or his cousins. Slip discreet nightwear into his bag to give him confidence.

Good reflexes against bedwetting

— Encourage your child to go to the bathroom as soon as the desire arises, during the day;

— Teach him to take his time to the toilet, in other words, without pushing and until the last drop!

— Encourage him to drink enough during the day to avoid excessive drinking in the evening;

— Avoid giving him sugary drinks or soda after 17 p.m. : They can irritate the bladder and promote bedwetting;

— Force him to go to the bathroom before going to bed ;

— Make sure he can reach the toilet, at night, in complete safety.

Bedwetting: when to consult?

The child masters night cleanliness around 3-4 years old. Up to 7 years old, he can experience “accidents”, occasional bedwetting which are not alarming. We only talk about enuresis from the age of 5, when the child wets his bed several times a week.

Bedwetting: who to consult?

It is then necessary to consult the pediatrician or the family doctor, who will establish a diagnosis (physiological causes are not excluded) and, if necessary, refer the child to a other specialist (child psychiatrist or psychologist). In some cases, for children over 6 years old, he may prescribe medical treatment. They are not necessarily effective and sometimes have side effects.

Bedwetting: a session with the psychologist

“We help him to free himself from his fears, explains Anne-Laure Benattar, body psychotherapist (*). Because enuresis can be linked to a mechanical or physiological problem, but also a psychological one. The arrival of a little brother or sister, a move, tensions at home, or any other situation giving the child a feeling of insecurity can generate a bodily reaction such as bedwetting, sometimes accompanied of a form of regression.»

Enuérie: Practical case of a consultation with Anne-Laure Benattar

For 15 minutes, F.’s mother explains the situation: F. is a sensitive little boy, reserved at school, who needs to be reassured in the evening. He has suffered from enuresis since entering primary school, which occurred after a move and the arrival of a little brother.

The consultation then begins: 

AL.B. : Can you explain to me what happens in you in the evening and during the night?

F .: In the evening, when I go to bed, I put on my diaper, mom hugs me, I’m afraid I won’t wake up to go to the bathroom. And then, it’s morning. I wake up all wet once again. This is annoying !

A.-LB: Oh yes I understand! How do you feel about your little brother and your move?

F .: I think mom takes more care of my little brother and that’s really unfair! Besides, I don’t feel good in this house… I’m afraid to go to the bathroom!

A.-LB: I’ll tell you a story, which I’ll record for you too. You can listen to it in the evening before going to sleep, it will help you feel better: “It’s the story of a gardener, who really loves his garden. He takes good care of his plants and from time to time adds new plants to spruce up his garden. He has a plant that he loves a lot and that needs special attention. So he waters it a little in the morning and also a little in the evening, talking to him kindly. Then he closes the pipe very firmly so that it remains tightly closed all night long. And in the morning, he opens the hose again to water his plants, then carefully closes it. He takes care of each of his plants, so that they thrive and receive all the necessary attention in a fair way. Sometimes new plants need a little more attention, and the gardener reassures his particular plant of its affection. So the garden is beautiful, each plant thrives wonderfully and the watering system is fully functional! “

F.: I like your story, especially when the gardener takes good care of his special plant and pays attention to its watering!

A.-LB: I’m glad you like the story! You can also activate your magic star which will give you the signal to go to the bathroom at night if necessary. Where is this star located?

F .: In my stomach I think. Do I have to press on it?

A.-LB: Each star is activated differently, let’s see how yours is activated… By doing a little massage? Or a light pressure? Or by turning the key that strengthens its power! Here you are ready to grow and regain your power!

Decryption of the session

The magical story can be read every evening, bringing to the subconscious elements reassuring the child about his place and the attention he needs, as well as on the mechanical aspect and his ability to manage his body. The activation of the stars is a form of anchoring in NLP, giving back to the child his power, because the stars are inside him. It is important to play down, to trust your child and to trust yourself to pass this course. And above all to reassure his child about his ability to grow up and be able to wake up at the right time.

Little tip: Bach flowers 

To allow the child to overcome his fears, to believe in his capacity and to take back his responsibility, to free this mechanism and to arrive at a new functioning, I suggest a mixture based on Mimulus / Willow / Crab Apple / Walnut / Larch – see the pharmacist or the Bach Flowers advisor.

(*) Anne-Laure Benattar receives children, adolescents and adults in her practice L’Espace Thérapie Zen. www.therapie-zen.fr