It is possible to try to explain to a man the state of mind of a future mother, but it is difficult to describe to him the feelings of a woman who for the first time feels her child living in her. The emotion is strong, deep. With these first movements begins between the mother and her child a relationship which will last well beyond the birth; a singular and mysterious bond is established between them.
These first movements raise awareness of the existence of a being with a life of its own. They are of great importance to all women. Those who did not dare to show their pleasure abandon themselves to it now that they are sure of a presence. And for those who have had difficulty accepting their pregnancy, the period of the first movements is capital. Often this signal, coming from the child himself, allays their fears.
Imaginary baby, imaginary baby
Depending on the cultures and families, all future parents have an imaginary baby common to this socio-cultural history, for example the one we thought of when we were a teenager, the one shown in magazines, advertising, etc. Little by little, this imaginary baby will give way to the baby imagined by the mother, by the father, with reference to their own history; it will be about their child, unique and singular. With the first movements, the ultrasound, the knowledge – or not – of the sex, the future mother imagines her baby. She thus makes it exist and gives it a place before birth. She focuses on pregnancy, the interior of the uterine nest and her baby. She often enjoys the company of pregnant women or mothers with whom she can share emotions and concerns. Maternal and paternal reverie, questions about the child’s sex, first name, character, resemblances, really illustrate this period.
«I saw his heart beat, I heard it, I was moved but a single small movement of his foot in my stomach overwhelmed me. I have fully experienced my pregnancy. It is a wonderful and unique experience to wait for a child so desired, to be one with him.» Pauline.
How does a woman become a mother? What stages does she go through to acquire her new identity? On this subject, Daniel Stern and Nadia Bruschweiler-Stern have devoted a whole very interesting book: The birth of a mother (Odile Jacob Poche).
Flourishing
This second quarter opens under the best auspices. Nausea disappears, sleep and appetite return. Around 4-5 months, pregnancy begins to show, without being embarrassing. This is often the time that women choose to buy some suitable clothes and thus feel more comfortable. According to their tastes, their personality, some will seek to hide their stomach, others will like to highlight it. During pregnancy, the whole body adapts to the baby’s development: the belly becomes rounded, the weight changes, the breasts swell and become firm. Many women fear that they will no longer be desirable in the eyes of their spouse. Getting to accept yourself as you are for the well-being of your baby helps to better experience these bodily transformations. In addition, it turns out that many men find their women attractive during pregnancy with some curves. They are touched by the beauty of this body which carries their child.
Some women, although moved to know they are pregnant, do not experience this feeling of happiness, fulfillment, and have difficulty accepting their pregnancy; they are worried about future responsibilities, especially if it comes at a time of great difficulties (financial, housing, tensions in the couple, etc.), sometimes also for no apparent reason. You can discuss your concerns with a person of your choice: family doctor, midwife, psychologist, social worker. You will feel less alone. Speaking is a difficult act but it is often the privileged way to understand what is happening, to relieve discomfort and suddenly, have access to the wonder of this next birth.
… And hypersensitivity
Pregnancy is a period of great sensitivity which can result in changing moods, irritability, emotionality: the slightest gestures or behaviors, remarks or questions around their body can be misinterpreted or arouse unusual emotions in women. pregnant. Some find it hard for a person, even those around them, to allow themselves to touch their belly; they find this indelicate gesture, an intrusion into an intimacy that we do not necessarily want to share. The look of others on her curves can cause some embarrassment in the mother-to-be. But looks can also be warm and empathetic. Aude has just announced her brand new pregnancy to her colleagues. She is surprised, and touched, to see that the very next day her usual seat has been replaced by a very comfortable armchair.
At the end of the second trimester, the baby begins to react to the outside world: he perceives his environment, the voice of his parents, the sounds, the emotions of his mother, the caresses on the belly. The mother feels available to welcome the first signs of her baby’s life, it is a good time for an intimate prenatal encounter. It can happen that this meeting is difficult, for different reasons (complicated pregnancy, personal concerns, etc.). Dare to ask for help from the professionals who accompany you.
Early prenatal interview (EPP)
The EPP, around the 4th month of pregnancy, is a special interview that gives you time to talk about different subjects with a health professional: your expectations, your needs, your birth plan, the questions that concern you, etc. It is also addressed to the future father who wants us to answer his questions.
«When I watch a movie, I can cry even when it’s not sad… it’s out of control. Then we laugh about it with my husband, it’s so ridiculous ….» Florine.
This article is taken from Laurence Pernoud’s reference book: 2018)
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