Become the perfect student: 10 tips for parents

My life has been connected with the school for the last 65 years: I studied, taught, sent my children to school and worked as a school counselor. During this time, I was convinced many times that when raising children, we regularly make promises to ourselves or correct previous ones, but it is not always possible to keep them. Why? It is important to correctly formulate our tasks.

As a counseling psychologist with extensive experience in school, I suggest that parents promise themselves to adhere to 10 principles.

1. Say good things about school

Surely the parents had unloved teachers, too difficult homework and days when they hated studying. Do not share unpleasant memories of school with children. I am not advocating cheating. Just try to emphasize the good.

When children are having a hard time, they need our input, but don’t teach them to think that school is unnecessary, too difficult, or unnecessarily restrictive. Advise how to find a common language with “difficult” teachers. These lessons will be useful to them no less than the math homework with which they suffer so much.

2. Organize your child’s daily routine

Planning and organization are useful at any age. Especially for children who have disorders like ADHD or anxiety or who have autistic traits. Organize a part of the child’s day, or time right after school or dinner. The schedule should allocate time for both rest and homework.

TV and computer are strictly prohibited until all lessons are done. The established daily routine eliminates disputes, complaints, persuasion and unnecessary doubts. He does not constrain, but frees the child for productive work.

3. Give your child a workplace for lessons

Adults work outside the home. Arriving there, they are “officially” “at work” and switch to working mode. It is also useful for children to have their own workspace. It does not matter if it is the kitchen table, from which the dishes are removed after dinner, or a separate table. By setting aside time and space for homework, parents help children understand that their “work” is also important.

4. Stock up on time

It is difficult to work when the right tools are not at hand. A child should always have a sufficient supply of all school supplies: pens, pencils, notebooks, everything that is needed for labor and drawing lessons. To avoid having to turn everything upside down in search of a pencil, store all school supplies in a designated place. This helps the child not be distracted from the lessons and do them faster.

5. Mark due dates on your calendar or diary

Mark your homework deadlines on a calendar each week. Help kids break down large projects into individual tasks and give them due dates. By setting intermediate goals and constantly checking deadlines for assignments, you help to avoid situations where the child suddenly remembers that tomorrow he has to turn in a big job that was assigned a month ago. It also teaches kids about time management.

6. Go to parent-teacher conferences and communicate with teachers regularly

You play an important role in your child’s education. Get to know the teachers. Go to parent meetings. If you have a good relationship with teachers, it will be much easier for you to talk to them about how your child is doing. By taking an active interest in the life of the school, you will be able to learn about problems and changes that may affect your children in a timely manner.

7. Discuss news and current events with your children

Education has a lot to do with the ability to value knowledge. When parents discuss current events, politics, and local and national issues with their children, they teach their children not to be limited to what is taught in school, but to be interested in the outside world as well.

Read news articles with your children. When they ask you about something, do not be lazy to look for the necessary information on the Internet. Make learning new information a family treasure.

8. Pay more attention to reading

Children who are read a lot as children and who are encouraged to read on their own make great strides both in school and in life—that’s a fact. Turn reading into a family ritual, for which a certain time is allocated. If the kids are too old for a bedtime story, organize a “reading hour” where you and they each read their own book.

9. Make sure kids eat well, get enough sleep, and are physically active.

Proper nutrition, healthy sleep and physical activity are the foundations of health and vitality. Without this, it is difficult for children to succeed both in school and in life. The task of parents is to teach children to a healthy lifestyle.

10. Don’t let them sit in front of the screen too much.

Control the time your child spends in front of the TV, at the computer, or with a smartphone or tablet. Children and adolescents, due to their age, still lack character, self-discipline and time management. Parents should set a good example and set clear rules until children learn to control themselves.

Turn off the TV while eating and doing homework. Take away the phones until the children finish their homework. Don’t be tempted to let you “watch one more episode” or “play the game a little more” until all the important things are done. Remove televisions and all electronic devices from children’s rooms. Make them go to bed on time.

Of course, we as parents do not always manage to strictly adhere to all these principles. On certain days or in certain situations, compromises are inevitable. But if we can keep these “commandments” while children are in school, we can develop self-discipline and healthy habits in them that will help them throughout their lives.

About the Author: Marie Hartwell-Walker is an American psychologist and psychotherapist with over 30 years of experience.