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It doesn’t matter what we do – housework or our own business, whether we work at a gas station or in a multi-million dollar corporation – most likely, black streaks happen in our life at least sometimes. During such periods, we can often easily prevent ourselves from coping with everything, and here’s how.
1. Dive into the abyss of anxieties, forebodings and fears
You may have noticed that the expectation of some event is often harder for us than the event itself. We can get nervous for weeks about asking our boss for a raise. It seems that he will just laugh in our face, or say that we do not deserve it, or put us out the door. And in the end, the conversation takes five minutes and goes well. So was it worth spending so much time and energy on experiences?
Fear and anxiety are evolutionary mechanisms that helped our ancestors survive. Today, we, modern residents of megacities, in most cases are not threatened by either starvation, or poisoning by the fruits of an unfamiliar tree, or death from the fangs of a predator.
Our life has become much more calm and safe, but the habit of being afraid and nervous has remained and spoils the lives of many.
In 9 cases out of 10, the worst thing that can happen in a given situation is that we will be denied. They won’t raise us, they won’t go on a date with us, they won’t agree to live together happily ever after.
But, most likely, our premonitions will not justify themselves and everything will end well. So just take the necessary step as soon as possible. In the end, every “no” only brings you closer to the cherished “yes”.
2. Let the past define who you are.
We all made mistakes, for which we are still ashamed. They made the wrong choice, which in one way or another affected their lives, they ignored alarm signals – harbingers of trouble.
But the worst thing you can do is to get stuck in the past and make yourself pay for these mistakes all your life. Over and over again, scroll through what happened in your head and think about how it would have turned out if you had acted differently. This is a pointless, energy-consuming and harmful practice.
As clichéd as it sounds, the past cannot be changed. You can’t do anything with it, but it can affect how you feel and who you think, even years later.
Don’t let the traumas and mistakes of the past define who you are in the present. It is in your power to change your attitude to what happened and stop suffering because of it.
3. Strive to always be right
You certainly have your own beliefs about a wide variety of topics, and that’s fine. The main thing is not to hold on to your opinion with both hands, brushing aside any arguments.
The need to always be right, and to always have the last word, drives you into a trap, does not allow you to move on and build close relationships with others.
Everyone looks at the world through a certain lens, and it largely determines the decisions we make. Think about it: could it be that your point of view only complicates life? What is more important to you – your own opinion or the desired result? Stay true to yourself or live the way you want?
Try to reconsider your views and leave others the right to their own point of view.
4. Focus on what is missing
Perhaps you dreamed of a career as a model, but did not go out for this growth. Or about playing a musical instrument, but you didn’t have the ability to do it.
Everyone will surely find something that he lacks in himself: physical data, intelligence, certain character traits. Some would like to be more purposeful and assertive, others more disciplined.
But maybe instead of complaining about how unlucky you are, it’s time to focus on what you have? On our abilities, on what you can do? And ideally, try to find something good in your “shortcomings”, turning them into virtues.
Yes, you may lack purposefulness, but you know how to live here and now and enjoy the moment. Perhaps your self-discipline is lame and your mind is constantly wandering somewhere, but thanks to this you come up with non-standard ideas and solutions.
As long as you focus on what you lack, you lose sight of the opportunities at your disposal.
5. Feed your ego
Many of us dream of high self-esteem, but in reality it is no better than low self-esteem. In one case, we become overconfident, because of which we make mistakes, offend other people, do not give our best; in another, we are too worried about something that has not even happened yet, and we are timid to take the first step.
At the same time, in both cases, we are extremely fixated on ourselves. So how to be? Stop being a slave to your fears, doubts and desires. Finally realize that the world does not revolve around us. This requires a lot of work and a separate big conversation.
6. Aggravate Your Mistakes
We all make mistakes from time to time – the question is what we do next. Sometimes, in an attempt to save the situation, we begin to fuss, make ill-considered actions, and as a result, everything only gets worse.
Or, for example, having missed a lesson in a fitness club, we do not return there the next day to catch up – we again do not come to training, convincing ourselves that “I am such a person.”
Or, having spent money on expensive education and in the middle of the educational process, realizing that this area is not interesting for us, we do not drop out of school, but continue to spend time and money to still get a diploma. Or we stay with someone with whom there has been no closeness for a long time, because for us to part means to admit that the decision to live together was a mistake.
The more we deceive ourselves and others, the more difficult the situation becomes.
7. Thinking too hard
Of course, in order to achieve something in life, certain plans and goals are needed, but the mistake of many is only to think, but not to do anything. Dreaming about moving, but not even testing the waters and not looking for a job in a new country. Consider changing jobs, but don’t renew your resume or go to interviews. Calculate in advance all the moves and possible obstacles, but never move.
Ask yourself how long you have been planning this or that step. Is it time to take decisive action? Yes, you can fail, but you can’t spread straw everywhere.
You may never “ripen” and never be ready enough – but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Every moment of delay and hesitation goes to your minus rather than plus.
The best thing you can do for yourself and your future is to take the first step today. Do 10 squats, write 100 words, apply for that job. Just do it now.