Baby with intense needs, or BABI: all the answers to your questions

Recognizing a Baby with High Needs: Signs and Symptoms

In a work entitled “Why is baby crying? Living with a baby with high needs”(Edited by the Leche League), an American pediatrician, Dr. William Sears, looked at these“ difficult ”babies, which we group together under the term BABI, or babies with intense needs.

Himself confronted with this particularity for his fourth child, he has thus identified several major characteristics specific to babies with intense needs.

Obviously, these behaviors do not necessarily manifest themselves in all BABIs, nor permanently. The degree of manifestation of these traits also fluctuates.

• Hypersensitive babies

A baby with intense needs is acutely aware of his surroundings. In fact, he can jump easily, have a difficult sleep at night, be easily distracted … He can also be anxious with people he does not know.

• Babies with excessive behaviors

A baby with intense needs cry loudly, laugh loudly, protest intensely… In short, he has stronger reactions than other babies, more “easy” to live with. “The intensity of his protests is proportional to the intensity of the attachment that unites him to his parents.”Says Dr. Sears in his book.

• Demanding babies

New parents, especially new mothers of high-needs babies, often tend to say that they can’t respond to their baby’s demands quickly enough. All the needs and requests of a baby with intense needs are of the utmost urgency. He has no gradations or half-measures in his expectations and needs.

• Babies who need contact

A baby with intense needs can hardly be posed. He has a very important need to be carried, in contact with his parents, and in particular his mother. Babies are therefore babies for whom intensive mothering is particularly appropriate, since they do not cope well with separation. These are not the kind of babies who sit still in a bed or a deckchair, without flinching.

• Very active babies

A baby with intense needs is very active, very curious, very alert. “In this type of baby, constant motor activity goes hand in hand with the intensity of the hypersensitivity of the personality.”, Notes Dr. Sears.

• Babies with great sucking needs

A baby with intense needs has a great need to breastfeed, for comfort. To satisfy his need sucking and reassure him, breastfeeding is very appropriate, just like the pacifier (or pacifier). A BABI is more likely to fall asleep on the breast than on its own.

• Babies who don’t like to be physically constrained

A baby with high needs hates the car or stroller, and can spend most of a trip crying. In question, his muscle stiffness, or hypertonia. The baby with intense needs may thus hate being physically forced, constrained, limited. He can straighten his arms and legs to protest. While most mothering approaches (breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing) suit and reassure him, swaddling is generally not appropriate for a BABI.

Baby with intense needs: no specific cause

Let young moms and dads of babies with high needs stop guilting: there is no hard evidence to say that a baby has intense needs because of a behavior or the absence of a behavior parental, events occurring during pregnancy or childbirth.

Rather than feeling sorry for the behaviors of a “difficult” baby, it is better to engage in a process of acceptance. Just as every adult has their own personality and character traits, every baby is different, has specific needs and characteristics.

How to deal with a baby with intense needs?

Patience and organization are the two key words relating to the management of a baby with intense needs.

First of all, it should be noted that it is more than advisable to meet these intense needs and demands from the BABI, who only wants to be reassured.

However, a baby with high needs is a baby who demands an enormous amount of time, attention and energy from his parents. Fatigue and exhaustion, incomprehension of those around them and lack of support… Parents of a BABI can quickly feel helpless.

As only time will allow the baby to calm down and to be little by little less demanding (especially when he is less dependent), a reorganization of the schedule is generally required. Parents will have to try to cope with these intense needs, why not by taking parental leave or part-time if possible, by asking for help from those around them or from health professionals …

As we have seen, mothering can be of great help in securing a baby with intense needs. Carrying in a sling, massages, co-sleeping and breastfeeding can be solutions to deal with a baby with intense needs. Especially in terms of sleep, which is essential to help young parents manage this difficult period. And when there is no other way, parents of a baby with high needs are advised to accept putting a little frustration on the baby. Better chosen and well tolerated mothering than endured and forced mothering.

In all cases, it is not advisable to let a baby cry indefinitely, BABI or not, as this will only reinforce his feeling of insecurity, and could make him an anxious, emotionally unstable adult, etc.

Baby with high needs: positive character traits

Over the months, the young parents of a baby with intense needs could well detect, in this personality “difficult”, Extremely positive and valued character traits. The BABIs would become like this, if we don’t bother them, creative, sensitive, compassionate, empathetic children and adults … Character traits that have their place in our society.

Sources and additional information:

• “What to do when baby cries? Living with a baby with high needs”, Dr William Sears, Martha Sears, Editions La Leche League ;
• The Kindergarten House, January 12, 2018 broadcast