Comedian like Dad, sometimes shy like Mum, joker like Uncle Alfred or tenderly dreamy like Grandmother… What could be more moving than seeing the character of your little one take shape! But beware…
«Whoever is baptized “nervous” at three months, “terrible” at eighteen months and “infernal” at three, has every chance of becoming a real rascal at six!“Usually reminds Dr Cohen-Solal to parents who are surprised at the” difficult “nature of their little one!
Why? Quite simply because all babies have only one desire, to make their parents happy. And that by dint of treating them as “shy”, “teaser”, “cranky” or any other character trait, they quickly risk forcing a little more the dose, to resemble the image you seem to want to make you of them!
His character will change …
During his first three years, your little one will face a multitude of learning, discoveries anddisappointments… For him, impossible not to react!
Here he is more shy than before when the anxiety of the eighth month arises, a little “bulldozer” when he finally knows how to move, often capricious when he discovers that, in life, everything is not that easy. …
However, each of his reactions which, for us, sound like so many traits of his future character, are in fact only fleeting. They will disappear as quickly as they appeared, often without leaving a trace!
Hence the necessity not to judge too quickly his child’s character, or at least never to forget that he will change for a long time to come.
The role of parents in the construction of the child’s personality
The respective positions and behavior of each within the family circle are decisive. The child will find it difficult to assume his own sex if the man does not have the good role. For example, some little boys say they want to be a woman later because they saw their father beat their mother. Men are therefore not, in their eyes, respectable beings.
The mother’s attitude is just as important: I remember a little boy in whom I had detected an idealization of the female sex … undoubtedly because his mother did not support “brutal and vulgar men who only think about nothing.” ‘to go to war’.
What is certain is thatabove all, do not forbid a boy to play dinette or doll. In fact, you might end up with the opposite result, because banning something too authoritarian can make you want to do it in secret. If he is playing with dolls, parents should simply check that the identification is masculine… and not encourage a growing fascination with feminine values. In all cases, the male figure (the father, the stepfather, the grandfather…) must, for his part, give a positive image of the man.
Age by age, some classic behaviors …
3 months
Baby seem nervous? Normal, his nervous system is still immature … He is still hyper sensitive to his external environment, he sometimes jumps at the slightest noise.
6/8 months
Baby is worried or shy. In question, the famous anxiety of the eighth month… Which sometimes occurs earlier in some toddlers, as early as six months.
18 months
“He’s really terrible!” Not only does your child benefit from increasing motor skills – hard to prevent him from exploring the world around him! – but he also notices that everything does not always work as he wants, that sometimes it is necessary to obey, that even his pyramid of cubes does not always keep well in balance. No wonder he is more impatient and more rowdy than before!
Your best weapon is patience. But not to the point of being led by the nose. You have understood, what to avoid is to tell him all the time “You are really terrible …”. but to say nothing at all is not the solution either. Prefer: “I understand that you are angry, this pyramid that does not stand up, it’s really annoying!”