Baby feeding: how to deal with conflicts during feeding?

He no longer wants to drink milk.

The opinion of the psychologist. Refusal is necessary. At 18 months, it is part of the construction of the child’s identity. Saying no and choosing is an important step for him. He asserts his own tastes. He watches what the parent eats, and wants to make his own experience. Respect that he says no, without entering into conflict, do not worry, so as not to freeze his refusal.

The opinion of the nutritionist. We offer him another dairy product in the form of soft cheese, petits-suisse… We can play little games with decorated cottage cheese (the face of an animal)… Later, around 5-6 years old, some children do not want more dairy products. We can then try water rich in calcium (Courmayeur, Contrex), which is mixed with water less rich in minerals.

He doesn’t like green vegetables.

The psychologist’s opinion. Many children do not like these vegetables. And this is normal around 18 months, because they have a taste that requires training, while potatoes, rice or pasta have a neutral taste which, on the other hand, does not require training, and are easy to learn. mix with other flavors. While vegetables, especially green, have a very distinctive taste.

The opinion of the nutritionist. Green vegetables are rich in fiber, minerals, taken from the earth, important for the development of the toddler and irreplaceable. So you need a lot of ingenuity to present them to your child: mashed, mixed with other vegetables, with minced meat or fish. If it is not an open conflict, we can guide his learning in the form of a game: he is made to taste the same food regularly prepared in the same way over six months, by telling him “you don’t.” don’t eat it, you just taste ”. Then he must tell you “I don’t like” or “I like”! Older children will be able to rate their impression on a scale of 0 to 5, from “I hate” to “I love”. And rest assured: little by little, they will get used to it and their palate will evolve!

He eats everything in the canteen … but is difficult at home.

The opinion of the psychologist. Everything is great in the kindergarten canteen! But at home, not so easy… He refuses what the parents give, but that is part of his evolution. It is not a refusal of the father and the mother as such. Rest assured, this is not a rejection of you! He just refuses what he is given because he is a big boy at school and a baby at home. 

The opinion of the nutritionist. During the day, he will find something to satisfy his needs: for a snack, for example, if he takes it from a friend. Do not get stuck on a day, but rather evaluate its meals over a week, because it rebalances itself naturally.

Throughout the meal, he spends his time sorting and separating the food.

The opinion of the psychologist. It is normal between 1 and 2 years! At that age, he identifies the shape, compares, eats… or not! Everything is unknown, he is having fun. Avoid making it into a conflict, your child is simply in a phase of discovery. On the other hand, around the age of 2-3 years, he is taught not to play with food, as well as table manners, which are part of the rules of good conduct.

The opinion of the nutritionist. We can help him sort! Supporting the parent can help them get used to new foods. This reassures him and from a nutritional point of view it does not matter whether the food is separated or not: everything gets mixed up in the stomach.

He eats very slowly.

The opinion of the psychologist. He takes his time, that is, time for himself. In his own way, your child tells you: “I have done a lot for you, now I decide the time for myself, the plate is mine. Children sometimes do a lot for their parents without their realizing it. For example, if the toddler feels tensions between his parents, he can make himself unbearable, roll on the ground… His logic: if they are angry with me, it is better than against themselves. In the game of “a spoonful for dad, one for mum”, do not forget “a spoonful for you!” »… The child eats to please you, but also for him! He must not be only in the gift, but also in the pleasure for himself. The toddler can also, by this attitude, want to extend the meal to be more with you. If you feel that way, then it is better to take care to take time together elsewhere: walks, games, hugs, history … 

The opinion of the nutritionist. By taking his time, the child will feel fullness and satiety more quickly, because the information has had more time to go back to the brain. Whereas if he eats fast, he will eat more. 

He only wants mash and can’t stand chunks!

The opinion of the psychologist. Respect his rejection of the pieces and don’t make it a frontal conflict. It could get boring: around 2 years old, children quickly show their opposition, that’s normal. But if it lasts too long, it is because there is something else, it is elsewhere that it is being played out. In this case, it is advisable to give in, the time to try to understand what is wrong. It is important to let go, otherwise the balance of power will not be favorable. And since it is about food, it is he who will win, for sure! 

The opinion of the nutritionist. Whether he eats his food mashed or chopped, it doesn’t matter from a nutritional standpoint. The consistency of food has an impact on the feeling of satiety. Proportionally, this will be better – and more quickly reached – with pieces, which take up more space in the stomach.  

3 tips to teach him to eat on his own

I respect his timing

There is no point in wanting your child to eat alone too early. On the other hand, it must be left handle food with your fingers and give him time to be able to hold his spoon correctly and coordinate his movements. This learning also requires a lot of attempts on his part. And be patient when he grabs all the food with his fingers or stains 10 bibs a day. It’s for a good cause ! Around 16 months, his gestures become more precise, he manages to put the spoon in his mouth, even if it is often empty on arrival! At 18 months, he can bring it almost full to his mouth, but a meal where he eats on his own will be quite long. To speed up the tempo, use two spoons: one for him and one for him to eat.

I give him the right material 

Indispensable, the thick enough bib to protect his clothes. There are also rigid models with a rim to collect food. Or even long-sleeved aprons. In the end, it’s less stress for you. And you will leave him more free to experiment. On the cutlery side, opt for a flexible spoon to avoid hurting your mouth, with a suitable handle to facilitate handling. Good idea too, thesoup bowl with a slightly tilted bottom to help it catch its food. Some have a non-slip base to limit slipping.

I cook suitable food

To make it easier for him to take food, prepare slightly compact purees and avoid those that are difficult to catch such as chickpeas or peas.