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In seconds, the myth of the perfect child crumbles. “For the nursery staff, my baby is ‘different’. He has excess anger, hits other children for no real reason… I made an appointment with a child psychiatrist for advice. ”
Today, it is no longer rare for a pediatrician, a nursery director, a maternal assistant … to suggest to parents, with the necessary precautions, to take their little one to the “shrink”. Normal! Early childhood professionals are often in the best position to detect a possible disorder in Baby : suspicious behavior, insomnia, language delay… so many difficulties which are also revealed more easily outside the family context.
Obviously, the announcement of the shrink is never easy to hear and the hot reactions of parents confirm it. Surprise, denial, relief, to each his own way of “blaming the blow”!
There is something wrong … “We have made enormous progress in understanding young children and today, it’s true, we are more vigilant. Children’s disorders are most often detected in reception centers such as nurseries. When in doubt, the team meets to figure out what is wrong and determine what to do next. If necessary, the director of the nursery can talk to the parents and suggest that they meet with a psychologist. Our goal is above all to help them and not to weaken them. ” Ms. Claude Michalet, psychologist working in the “Les pitchounes” day nursery (83250, La Londe les Maures) |
The shrink who wants baby well
You don’t have to wait for more pronounced signs of trouble to set in : the earlier the treatment by a shrink, the more easily the difficulties are resolved. From the height of his few months (only!), Baby can therefore go to the shrink, accompanied by one or both parents! There is everything to gain there, especially when we know that a consultation does not commit to anything! It is time to twist our necks with received ideas: no, a visit to the shrink does not necessarily entail a medical gear, repeat visits, follow-up over several years. Sometimes a single date can be enough to unravel the situation!
Concretely, the psychotherapist works with parents to understand the origin of the problem, which can come from the toddler himself, or from a disturbed parent-child relationship. In this case, Mom and Dad can also get help to overcome their difficulties. And often, when they get better, Baby gets better!
Who does what ?
The child psychiatrist is a doctor who did psychiatry, with further training in infant, child and adolescent psychiatry.
The psychologist is not a doctor, but his clinical training in psychology gives him the opportunity to follow children and their parents.
Both are psychotherapists and often work in conjunction with other professionals such as psychomotor therapists or speech therapists.
For or against a consultation with the psychiatrist for Babies?
Psychology has taken on a great deal of importance in society and some parents now take the initiative to consult a psychotherapist when they suspect a problem with Baby. Despite everything, this trend is more urban than rural… They want the best for their chick and don’t shy away from professional help.
Others, on the contrary, are still just as resistant to the idea of the shrink. Afraid of the unknown ? Refusal to accept their child’s disorder, for fear of being judged, of having failed in their role as “good” parents… some cannot imagine such an encounter. However, all these reasons do not have to exist! The primary function of the psychotherapist is none other than to help them restore their child’s balance and not to make them feel guilty. It is time for them to play down this consultation, which is not intended to put them on the dock!
Everyone is looking for their shrink
We can see it on social networks, parents are always looking for information to clarify their doubts and satisfy their need to exteriorize their worries. Dialogue is essential, and everyone will choose the right interlocutor (a relative, a friend, an Internet user, etc.) to find the answers to their questions. Of course, family balance cannot exist without communication – nor love! – but these two “pillars” are not always sufficient. So, when parents find themselves lost, with no solution for their child, when there is not a grandparent, a friend or another more experienced mother to untangle the tangle, the shrink will bring the missing links, and put highlight this little something that gets stuck …
Parents wrongly worried
Alerted by the nursery director, Laure thought that her Thomas “had personality disorders, or even a slight psychomotor retardation, and that he had to consult quickly”. In the end, Thomas is simply a precocious child who is bored in nursery! Nothing irremediable, but it took a shrink to realize it. The same goes for Valérie, who took her little Mateo to see a psychologist because “he was not sleeping in the nursery”. Yet no apparent disorder was detected in him … So much the better! Because if mistakes are always possible, isn’t it better to consult a professional “for nothing”, rather than to miss a problem which will be more difficult to solve later? At worst, the consultation with the shrink will sweep away the worries and start afresh on a good basis… That’s already it!
Baby at the shrink’s: the mother involved?
“I was advised to meet a psychiatrist for my 3rd child, when he was only 10 months old. I had already made two attempts to adapt in a daycare center which had ended in two failures. My son cried non-stop for two hours and fell asleep exhausted in my arms when I returned. I then looked for another nursery, ready to welcome my child, and we went there very slowly. My son was no longer crying in despair like he used to, but was constantly asking for his arms, not sleeping, not eating and spending his time waiting for me. Me, I was rather flattered by this total fusion. The nursery staff nevertheless alerted me, starting by telling me that my son was taking his time to gain autonomy, that he was very much in need of contact and that he refused any progress which was normal at his age.
A little worried, I went to see my general practitioner who reassured me by assuring me that, clinically, my son was doing very well. I then informed the nursery staff but, always with gentleness and psychology, they continued to make me understand that my son seemed to want to stay very small.
At home, too, I began to realize the difference that there could be with his sisters. So I made an appointment with a specialized psychiatrist, whom we saw for 6 months, twice a month. Obviously, I am the mother, who had to be analyzed. I was so in fusion with my son, that unconsciously, it was I who imposed on him my desire that he always remain a baby. This highlighting was not without heartache, pain and awareness of a number of things to be resolved concerning me. But, for my son, everything was back to normal very quickly… ”
Audrey, 37420 Beaumont-en-Véron