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How to encourage optimism in your baby?
Encourage their desire for independence
Around 18 months-2 years old, the ex-baby has grown up, he walks, begins to talk and to explore his environment, with the same passion as Christopher Columbus setting out in search of America! Happy to come out of dependence on his parents, he asserts himself, discovers the prohibitions and loudly claims his desire for autonomy. The way you respond to his early attempts at emancipation is decisive for the construction of his future personality. If you continue to do everything for him like when he was a baby, you are encouraging his addiction and running the risk of hampering his independence. On the contrary, if you let him “do it alone” as he asks, if you facilitate his autonomy, if you tell him that success depends on him, he will be able to believe in his own ability to do things well. . He will know deep down that he can count on his personal skills to solve certain problems. This ability to fend for oneself, this certainty that we can achieve what we want, that our success is in our hands is the mark of optimism.
Value their sense of humor
From 2 years old, a child is able to react to a mischievous wink, to make little jokes, grimaces, to adopt funny ways of speaking, accents, expressions. In short, there is an early sense of humor. If you are a good audience, if you react positively when your toddler tries to make you laugh by clowning, putting his mini-feet in your big shoes, imitating your “fat voice” when you scold him, if you tell him “You make us laugh, little clown” and not “Calm down and stop being interesting”, you develop his confidence, his self-confidence, and consequently his optimism. Of course, it’s not about pushing him to become a one-man show king who is always looking for attention. There is a time for everything, a time to laugh and a time to be serious. If he does too much, put some limits, tell him that he may interest you otherwise, because he has many strings to his bow.
Satisfy his curiosity
” Why ? Why ? Why ? ” Your curious little one shoots you with questions. Even if you are tired of it, listen to him, take his requests into consideration and try to answer them if possible because this insatiable curiosity proves that your child enjoys life and contact with others. By answering his questions, you reinforce him in the idea that he exists, that he is listened to, that his remarks are taken into account, that he is important in the eyes of others, that he does not is not a transparent being. From the age of 3-4, the child has an already well-defined self-representation, your interest helps him develop his self-esteem and bring an optimistic outlook on himself and life in general.
Develop your empathy
Optimistic people have a lot of people around because they are open, spontaneous, extroverted. They are happy to get to know others because they are not afraid of being rejected. So that your child has this facility to make friends, to establish links and contacts, teach him to be interested in others, to imagine what they feel, to put himself in their shoes, to ask questions. . Start discussions, encourage him to share, to lend his toys, to make exchanges with other children : “I lend you my ball, you lend me your shovel. »Organize group games, invite friends to come and have a snack and play at home. Optimism is the fuel of social relationships.
Stimulate their desire to learn
We don’t always know it, but the desire to learn can be hampered very early on, quite simply by not giving your child what he likes to do, and especially what he is able to easily achieve. If you impose on your little one too complicated activities, which “narcissize” you, but not him, he will get discouraged very quickly. Instead, choose activities adapted to their age (or even less), to his tastes and his personality, simple activities that will allow him to experience the satisfaction of getting there easily, to make rapid progress. Favor “real games”, funny, pleasant, rather than “educational games”. You must first pretend to know how to read before reading for good, you must first pretend to write long missives before writing the alphabet for good. You will give your little one a taste for learning by promoting imitation games, everything that is “pretend”.
Help him develop his inner strength
The optimist is determined, he does not throw in the towel when faced with the difficulties he may encounter. The leitmotif of the pessimist, on the contrary, is “I’ll never make it, it’s too hard for me.” ” The ability to go all the way is the source of the feeling of success. When your little one can’t do something, when he fails, when he makes a mistake, push him to start over and over again until he can. Never let him get discouraged, even if you know he’s not going to make it, let him try, tell him kindly “But yes, you are going to make it, try again, do it like this, here it is, like me, it’s good ! Encouraging your child to be combative very early on is fundamental, because a negative self-image, such as “I’m not good for anything”, is set up from 3-4 years old. Of course, telling your child that he has the potential to succeed in whatever he undertakes does not mean telling him that he is a genius and that he already knows how to do everything before even having tried anything. that is. The goal is not to turn him into a blissful optimist with an oversized ego and convinced of his omnipotence. Make him aware from his early years that he will have to make efforts to succeed, like everyone else, that everything will not fall fully cooked in his mouth. Optimists know their qualities, but also their limits. This lucid self-assessment allows them not to set the bar too high and not to collapse when they find themselves confronted with the principle of reality, with failure.
Teach her positive thinking
Insist on his progress, teach him to focus his attention on the positive rather than the negative, which he succeeded rather than his failures. The goal is for him to be proud of himself and the efforts he makes to improve. Bring back the good memories: “You remember when you learned to swim with your armbands, when you had your snowflake, it was great! »From 4-5 years old, help him think positively about the future, to project himself into all the beautiful things he will do on the next vacation, at his grandpa and grandma’s, for his birthday … Teach him to be the own protester of his negative thoughts. Rephrase his unfavorable judgments like “I don’t know how to ski, I’m bad, I’m too small!” More positively: “You don’t think you could say instead, I’ll get there, I’ll find out, later, when I’m older. “
Fill in areas of weakness
Even the most worried, anxious and fragile children have an inalienable part of optimism in them. To make it germinate, parents must be super reassuring, able to give their little one the means to manage their anxieties on their own. Sleeping rituals, evening stories, nursery rhymes, hugs, cuddly toys, smiles, encouragement, anything that can help him fall asleep, face his fears is beneficial. The main thing is that he knows that the adults they rely on are there, by his side, reliable, determined to help him grow in love and security. The statistics are encouraging: optimism is 25% the result of genetics and 75% linked to education!