Characteristic of our hyperconnected time, autophobia means etymologically in Greek “fear of oneself”, by its two roots. auto (self) and phobia (fear). In practice, this phobia means a morbid fear of being alone. Both a fear of oneself and of loneliness, it is felt by those who have it as a fear of dying, of having a panic attack or even suicidal desires.

Being alone from time to time is necessary and sometimes wanted in our daily lives. Many people do not like to be alone, but for a small number of them, this discomfort felt in loneliness is pathological, and manifests itself in significant physical and mental disorders. Doing everything to avoid loneliness, they sometimes go so far as to surround themselves with people or activities that they do not like to avoid finding themselves in front of themselves. Suffering from low self-esteem, these people have a depressive attitude and a tendency to build a “dream” life to face the expectations of others.

This anxiety disorder affects both men and women and has its root in a potential injury of abandonment.

The person suffering from this pathology feels an intense and irrational fear of being alone, in the moment or in the idea of ​​being so in the near future. Their primary objective is to avoid being alone at all costs, which is worth surrounding yourself at all costs, at all times. If, at times, autophobia does not succeed, then he feels an immense discomfort, with anguish, anxiety, unreasonable fear. Dysfunctional thoughts appear, such as believing that a danger is imminent, that no one would come to his aid in case of need, that he or she could die, by an external accident but also by the fear of having suicidal desires.

At the physiological level, several symptoms can appear: 

• Palpitations ;
• Dizziness;
• Faintness ;
• Tachycardia;
• Sweats, etc.

Behaviorally, these people tend to seek approval from others, and fear being rejected and ignored. They have a morose, sometimes depressive attitude. Fleeing loneliness as much as possible, they are often in an anxious and unnatural attitude with others, since they are always dependent on their presence.

These people generally build a dream life, to meet the expectations of society and those around them. Today’s social networks therefore favor the appearance of such imaginary and perfect life scenarios, by building a perfect “false-self” that meets the expectations of those around them.

Daily life is greatly impacted, on a social, personal and emotional level, as well as on a professional level. Such a person is called autophobic when these symptoms continue over time, at least a few months.

At the root of autophobia is often a major abandonment injury, most often in childhood: 

• an oversight at the nursery, in the supermarket, in a public place;
• or a lack of listening;
• a lack of consideration of the feelings of the child, making him wrongly believe that he is uninteresting, unfriendly or even bad. 

Autophobic people often perceive their environment as insecure and lacking in understanding and empathy. To find oneself with oneself is then a source of suffering, since one finds oneself with this “self” considered as little esteemed, loved and valued.

Our time also favors the appearance of such anxiety disorders, by letting appear on social networks people with “perfect” profiles, physically or socially, and where the competition and the race for “likes” is fierce and directly measures social success. or personal. Always having a smartphone with you, allowing you to be in constant contact with other people, suggests that few people today really support loneliness and connection to oneself.

Fortunately, treatments are available to help people with autophobia. There are personal development programs, allowing to work on self-esteem, self-assertion or even narcissistic construction, which are extremely undermined in this pathology.

Of course, we can also appeal to psychoanalysis, in individual therapy which will complement introspective research on the roots of this malaise, by exploring the causes in childhood, in the link with parents, the first “others” perceived. by the child.

It is also necessary, with the help of a therapist or a coach, of activities such as meditation or yoga, to relearn to listen to oneself, to connect to oneself, to look at oneself in a mirror and to learning to know each other.