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Hello, dear readers of the site! Atychiphobia (kakorraphiophobia) is a pathological fear of failure or defeat. And today we will consider the main causes of this syndrome, as well as treatment methods.
What is it like?
Doubts and anxieties visit every mentally healthy person. But some give so much power to their fear that they simply do not dare to take steps towards the realization of plans and desires. They are so afraid of failure that they are ready to give up the idea of becoming happy and successful.
A phobia seems to “paralyze” their ambitiousness, lowers self-esteem and, in general, causes a lot of negative consequences. For example, depression, sleep disorders, exhaustion. It leads to isolation and a feeling of total loneliness. And in the most extreme cases, to an attempt to commit suicide.
The danger of this phobia is that it creeps up unnoticed. At first, the person simply puts off doing something, considering his decision to be rational. Then again and again, not suspecting that she is gradually losing the ability to develop and withstand the difficulties that arise on her way.
Antichiphobes are not able to adequately, realistically assess their capabilities and limitations. For some special reason, they do not have information about their own personality. Or rather, they do, but this knowledge is distorted.
They are fixed only on the negative, and in case of difficulties they will not even try to find a way out of the situation. And they will only give up, recognizing their insolvency and powerlessness.
Manifestations
You don’t have to wait for panic attacks to be diagnosed with atychiphobia. As mentioned above, the symptoms may be subtle, especially at first.
But there are a number of signs that will indicate that it is time to gather your spirit, strength and everything else that will help defeat this disease.
Main features
- A categorical refusal to leave the comfort zone, even if life does not work out the way you would like. That is, if this zone does not allow satisfying needs at all. Such a person usually thinks as an excuse that his life is not so bad. That things are much worse for others. Especially those who take risks and lose. Although he has not achieved anything, he does not face the shame that he failed in front of everyone.
- Low self-esteem. He does not believe in himself, or in his strength, or even in just luck. He has a complex, or imperfections, or inferiority, or some other.
- Excessive self-criticism. To the point of self-deprecation. This is when, for the slightest mistake, a person “executes” himself, blames. And for a long time there is anger, disappointment for having done something wrong or said something.
- Justifying yourself. Or rather, their own inaction. Such excuses can be used: “I don’t have any talents like the rest”, “Not everyone can win”, “I absolutely don’t know how to do this”, and so on. And he believes in what he says. He’s so comfortable. It’s better to say that others are just lucky, that’s why they achieve what they want. Than to admit that his greatest fear is the possibility of failure.
- Concentration and fixation only on defeat. Even if, for some reason, success is achieved, this fact will be deleted from the life history. Because it will depreciate. But even a minor failure will be remembered for a long time. As proof that he makes the same mistakes. Therefore, there is no point in trying to correct the situation.
Signs of moderate and severe form
- Refusal to attend events where there will be strangers, or events that he has not previously encountered. In principle, the refusal comes in general from everything new. He does not want to change something, learn new things, gain experience, and so on.
- social isolation. The personality narrows the social circle, gradually reaching complete isolation. But this is in cases where he does not receive help and support.
- Fear of starting even a well-known work because of the belief that the work is in vain and still nothing sensible will come of it.
Physiological manifestations
If the syndrome is of moderate severity, signs of a somatic nature are connected. For example, a person experiences a feeling of boundless anxiety just at the thought that he will need to manifest himself in public.
Let’s say, speak in public, take part in competitions, and go on a date, after all. Nausea, vomiting, palpitations, lack of oxygen, diarrhea may occur. The case threatens even to faint, if the horror rolls over.
Anyone who suffers from kakorraphiophobia has a number of comorbid disorders. The most dangerous for health is insomnia. Due to lack of sleep, the body does not have time to restore the energy spent during the day.
Accordingly, its resources are depleted, because of which internal organs and systems suffer. Because their work becomes uncoordinated.
Against the background of exhaustion and constant tension, a person becomes irritable, quick-tempered. And that drives people away from him even more. Which only makes the situation worse.
There is also increased sweating, even in the cold season. Still pallor, hand tremor, burning sensation in the chest and pain. Which just makes impressionable people think that they have heart problems and other terrible, deadly diseases.
Forms of expression
Perfectionism
The person has such a pronounced fear of failure that he strives to perfect his every movement, not to mention work, the fulfillment of duties.
Perfectionism is socially approved, especially against the background of various kinds of addictions, that is, dependencies. Which affects the majority of the population. What is bad here, according to society, when a person tries to be perfect.
But, unfortunately, there are a lot of shortcomings. Just imagine what kind of reaction a loss will cause, or criticism of actions, features of appearance, character of an atychiophobe. This is worse than death for him.
And anxiety, horror will keep his body in a state of mobilization day and night. He simply has no right to relax or weaken control. Otherwise failure.
Learn more about perfectionism in this article. It indicates how to deal with it, why it occurs and in general what it is.
Self-sabotage
Self-sabotage is when a person creates obstacles for himself on the way to success. And sometimes unconsciously. He simply delays completing the task, as a result of which he is not promoted. Or he capitulates in situations that he could well handle.
Self-isolation
In simple terms, this is voluntary loneliness. A person limits contacts with the outside world, closing in on himself. This happens because of the horror of the thought that it is necessary to compete with someone for a place in the sun, attention, money, and so on. It is easier for him to give up his desires than to take risks and lose.
Unfortunately, self-isolation symbolizes social death. The contact is broken, there is no interchange with the environment. Or it happens, but not as complete as before or as necessary.
If applied to working moments, then he will simply refuse to take on some projects, attend corporate events. It is sometimes said about such people that they are completely unassuming, inert, and completely unambitious. And they simply do not want to leave their comfort zone, because everything that is outside causes horror and panic.
Immobilization
This is inactivity and complete indifference to what is happening in life. No career — it does not matter, you need to come to terms with what is not given. Still not able to meet a loved one and start a family? Not everyone can be happy.
He does not want to develop, learn something new, does not set goals for himself. If it’s exaggerated, then it simply exists. He is so captured by the fear of failure that it is easier to endure deprivation than to fail at least once.
Causes
Character traits
Depending on how a person relates to various events and what he pays more attention to, this is how he lives. Let’s say it’s raining. An optimist will be delighted with him, because it’s so cool to walk down the street when the drops fall on the umbrella and leave behind beautiful smudges.
But the pessimist will grumble that he just washed the car. That now it will get wet and dirty, and in general, there will be only dirt everywhere.
Rain itself is not a positive or negative factor. He is. And how to perceive this phenomenon, what characteristics to give it — each of us decides. Depending on the mood, personality traits, season and so on.
So, atychiphobia can occur in those who do not notice the beautiful and do not know how to appreciate it. Let him win 10 times, he will devalue his skills if he loses at least once.
And focus on what is actually a loser. And he decides either not to “stick out” anymore, or he will be horrified to expect another failure.
Also, susceptible, suspicious people are prone to this disorder, who, as they say, take any information to heart.
Negative experience
Some, faced with failure, may decide that in fact they are not capable of anything and it is better not to embarrass themselves like that again. The situation is especially aggravated by labeling at such moments by society.
It is then more difficult for a person to cope with his experiences. He is glad to forget and try again. But the people around him can remind him of failure. Someone intentionally, and someone accidentally, just wondering how he survived such a catastrophe.
The banal ridicule at school that almost every student is exposed to can also leave a mark on future achievements. Or rather, in their absence.
Parenting model
Exaggerated demands and depreciation have a very strong effect on self-esteem. If parents do not praise the child for achievements, believing that in this way they will spoil him.
Or that there is simply nothing special in his actions and accomplishments — then it makes sense for him to try, make efforts and, in general, strive for something? Except to win their love. So it sometimes comes to perfectionism.
And in general, the upbringing of the desire for superiority provokes the emergence of a mass of tension. So it is not surprising that over time, such a child develops phobias.
It is impossible to be in a state of stress for a long time and at the same time be a happy person, feeling harmony and balance within yourself.
Wishing a better life for your child is not a sin. It is important to simply notice where the ambitions and fears of the parent are, and where his real interest is.
It happens that for misses the baby receives such a negative reaction that he simply “falls into horror” at the thought that the punishment will be repeated again. And growing up, he will avoid situations where you need to take risks and “stick out”.
Because even if the condemning parents are no longer alive, their image will remain with him inside forever. Only by working on himself, he will learn to trust himself and listen to his desires.
How to overcome atychiphobia
The good news is that it is quite possible to cope with the fear of defeat without resorting to specialists for help. And even more so, without using medication, which is usually prescribed for phobias.
Only it will take a lot of effort to make, because when a person is alone with his complexity, he can “pass”. That is, feel sorry for yourself and do something. What’s the difference, because no one controls, does not check.
So rely on your willpower and start fighting for the right to be successful, happy and purposeful.
Confession
The first step is to acknowledge that there is a problem. And for this, discard the thought that someone is destined to be lucky, but someone is not. It is important to take responsibility for your life into your own hands. You will get not what you deserve, but what you yourself have achieved.
Gradualness
Throwing yourself into the pool with your head is also not worth it, abruptly planning a large-scale task. It’s really scary at times. Even someone who does not suffer from kakorraphiophobia.
We need gradualness. Set a goal that is completely insignificant, but one that causes a small amount of anxiety. Once you reach it, move on to the next, only harder.
By the way, we can help with the first steps on the road to recovery. Your goal is to learn ways to plan and prioritize. Trust me, this will help you in the future.
Recovery of interests
Think about it, how long have you allowed yourself to wish for something? Yes, and then to realize this desired? If yes, then this exercise will help restore knowledge about yourself, and possibly get to know yourself better.
So, take a piece of paper and write down what makes you happy, gives you joy, pleasure? For example, summer rain, the smell of freshly cut grass, a lit match. A clean bed, the sun outside the window, coffee from a nearby coffee shop.
It could be anything. Not necessarily too significant, expensive and so on. Banal little things that can put a smile on your face.
And now the second part of the task: it’s time to think, what do you want? Allow yourself to desire, without depreciation or limitation. Here I want a new dress, you should not immediately think that there is no money, the figure does not allow it, and in that spirit.
Just write down your dreams and desires. Think about how real they are, you will later, when the time comes to plan their implementation.
Usually the difficulty with interests in people whose parents were too demanding and controlling. The child did not have the opportunity to rely on himself, he had to want what mom and dad pointed out.
And growing up like this, he can realize at one moment that he is unhappy, but at the same time he does not know where to move and what to change.
And finally, the recommendation is to seek support from a psychologist. At least in order to understand the origins of his phobia. Why do you need to “carry” with you for years a heavy burden that has weighed heavily on your soul? Try to figure out what happened. Then it will be easier for you to develop new strategies of behavior and easily walk through life!
Completion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Psychology is an interesting science. Therefore, subscribe to site updates, devote time to your self-development and have fun.
We also recommend that you read the article, which indicates the main signs of the manifestation of phobias and how to treat them. In it you will find more information on how to get rid of panic attacks.
Take care of yourself and be happy!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina