Attacks, violent images, news: tips for talking with children
Monique de Kermadec advises parents not to ignore the subject of the attacks, so difficult, with their children. They will learn the news no matter what from someone around them, the outside world or friends in class. First of all, the speech of adults must be adapted to the age of toddlers. The older the child, the more we can interact with him. The smallest are the most spared. Explanations.
Listen
First of all, the psychologist recommends checking what the child knows about the event. Firstly, we let the child speak and check what information he has. Be as honest as possible with him in your explanations when explaining to him what happened. Don’t give it overly dramatic details, stick to the facts. Use simple words, like “there were bad guys, they hurt, we caught them, people are upset, it’s sad”. In kindergarten, the teaching team will most often talk about tolerance, living together and respecting each other’s difference. The teachers remain evasive with the youngest. In primary school, depending on the children’s level of information, they can talk about the events by evoking “war”, “violence”, “it can happen here, near us”, and then reassure them by explaining, for example, that ‘there is protection in front of the school, with the Vigipirate plan and the police.
To reassure
Tell your child that he can talk about what scares him. You can explain to him that these are subjects that hurt and worry adults as well. That he’s not the only one with grief. According to the age of your child, name the violence, terrorism, explaining each word used, adapting your language, without dramatizing. Do not forget to specify, that even if we are separated during the day, we will meet in the evening, after school and the work of mum and dad. During that time, other people will be there to protect us. Parents must remain vigilant and watch their child’s reaction in the days following an event of such magnitude. Before bedtime, it is important to play or read with your little one, to resume the evening ritual if there is one. If after a few days, the child cries in the evening, wakes up at night, do not hesitate to consult. One or two sessions with a psychologist can help the child, his parents, to talk about it and to get through a difficult course.
Take time
Another important tip is that parents should take time with their child. The ideal is to be there, early in the evening, to talk with him about his day, while being as sober as possible. If you are overcome by emotions, you can cry in front of your child, explaining that you are sad, even if you are an adult, you are sad. Also underline the fact that, fortunately, such events are rare. Little by little, after a few days, you have to resume a normal life. Taking your children to extra-curricular activities, going to see a friend on the metro, going shopping… It is important for families not to change their habits too much. Life goes on.
Explain difficult words: – Terrorism : set of violent acts (attacks, hostage-taking, etc.) committed by an organization to create a climate of insecurity – Islamic State : jihadist group, military and terrorist organization – Jihadist : fighter who claims to defend his religion, through violence – Attack : terrorist attack – Muslim : person who follows the religion of Islam, Abrahamic and monotheistic, based on the Koran. Muslims regard the Koran as a written verbatim from God, revealed through the Prophet Muhammad. This word means “one who is at peace and submits to the will of God” – Islam : religion of Muslims, those who adhere to the message of Muhammad Source: Larousse |