At your fingertips: how to express feelings through touch

In our society, it is not customary to often touch another. Areas of social contact – arms and shoulders. In a conversation, it is permissible to touch the interlocutor’s hand or forearm, you can give an encouraging pat on the shoulder … that’s practically all.

In a slightly more intimate relationship, “social” kisses are possible, which in reality look like cheek contact. “Social” hugs are also possible – but in no case is the pelvic area involved, since it is associated with sexuality.

So, between social and sexual contacts – the abyss. But how then does the distance decrease in relations between two people who are interested in each other, how does rapprochement occur, including physical?

Touch Paradox

It is curious that with all of the above, it is difficult to find the same intimate area on our body as the hands, especially the palms.

During rush hour on the subway or on the bus, passengers touch each other more than they have to. What there intimate zones! And the buttocks, and the inguinal region, and the chest are involved in bodily contact. But if we even inadvertently touch someone’s hand, then the other, most likely, will pull it away, and we will feel awkward.

This is the paradox of touch. The simple gesture of taking the other’s hand is extremely intimate, and may suggest erotic attention.

Pleasure is an intimate process

If you want to seduce someone, you can offer them a hand massage. The palms have a large number of nerve endings, they are very sensitive, and touching them brings pleasure.

Pleasure is generally intimate, because at this moment we open up, remove protections, become more accessible for contact. Pleasure is an “expanding” process: pupils dilate, pores open, breathing becomes deeper.

And displeasure, in turn, is associated with compression and protection. Many of us get used to constant tension and deny ourselves pleasure for fear of losing our usual protections.

You can massage your hands and yourself – this helps to enter into erotic contact with yourself, get more pleasure from life and from yourself.

Self-massage is especially useful for those who did not get enough pleasant experiences from motherly touches in childhood, for example, because the mother was sick, was depressed, or the family culture assumed asceticism, restraint, a minimum of physical affection

The result of this is often a lack of sensibility. But it can be replenished by gradually developing the ability to experience bodily joy.

Two secret places

A foot massage is even more intimate than a palm massage. In Asian culture, feet are always hidden, there are religious reasons for this – they are considered unclean, and “impure”, unfortunately, is often associated with sexuality.

Remember in the movie Pulp Fiction it was mentioned that mafia boss Marcelas Wallace threw someone out of the window who offered to give his wife Mia a foot massage? There are a large number of sensitive points on the feet, and even the very consent to such an interaction can be considered as an encouragement. Foot massage can also be done by yourself.

There is another area, the massage of which helps to awaken sensuality, to learn to experience the pleasure of contact. This is the umbilical aponeurosis. The place that once connected us with our entire universe – with our mother. And this zone forever remains intimate.

For massage, you can find a pleasant natural essential oil, mix it with base, almond or coconut, and apply to your navel area with light, gentle movements, barely touching the skin, because this area is extremely sensitive.

When we experience bodily pleasure, it helps us to know ourselves better. And when two people experience this process together, it brings them closer.