Contents
At what age does it cost more to flirt and keys to being a great match
Sexuality
The writer and ‘matchmaker’ Montaña Vázquez has published “Match: how to find a partner in postmodernity”, where she talks about the tricks to be “a great match”
Almost three months of the Coronavirus pandemic have gone a long way: while some couples were more united in the distance, others chose to separate and resort, if necessary, to divorce. Apparently being confined to home for so many hours has made us more demandingWe have the clearest ideas and we have preferences over others.
The publication of the book by Montaña Vázquez, journalist and writer, could not have had a better publication date: in the middle of a pandemic isolation and in the middle of the match era, where mobile applications such as Meeting, Tinder or Grinder They plague the smartphones of a large part of society. And if you wonder what will happen to these applications now that there are more risks in sporadic encounters, the author of “Match: how to find a partner in postmodernity” is sure that they will continue to attract thousands of people because although she believes that there will be less punctual sex, that does not mean that we are going to have relationships based only on love.
These applications will continue to exist. We are social beings and if we cannot see each other in person, we manage with the mobile phone. This technology is very good at this time and they have played a very good role during the confinement“, He says. However, the writer finds limitations since if she has been interacting with a person for about two months, physical contact is needed to know if the attraction takes hold. “In person, that choice of candidates is perfected for the relationship that you want to achieve.”
At what age does it cost more to flirt
From the time of the caves to the days of Tinder, love has been present throughout history. It is the most universal feeling that exists and although it can make us suffer, it can also be the most wonderful.
However, today the new society Digital has changed the paradigm of interpersonal relationships. The permanence bores us because we have become accustomed to living in a continuous and stimulating renewal and this has also infected the way we feel and how we relate: new affective bonds arise such as polyamory, cubbing, love triangles …
There is no age when it is more difficult to find love, but it is linked to experience in this case because it seems that we become more demanding over time … «I would say that it is much more difficult for them to flirt and find a stable partner. those people 45 and 55 years between. It is a complicated strip because there are many prejudices in society and there is a belief that with those years it is necessary to have everything resolved, when many people what they do is start a new life, undertake… ”, explains Montaña Vázquez.
How to become a “great game”
Some experts say that because of the fear of suffering another pandemic and being caught alone at home, without a partner, many people will get down to work to find someone with whom to share those moments of uncertainty. A decision that, in the words of Montaña Vázquez, “would be wrong.” They say that loneliness is worse than a disease. If we make the decision out of desperation, we are going wrong. If that desperation is detected and you give more importance to looking for a partner than what that person can contribute, nothing positive will be achieved. To despair is to be afraid and from fear little can be achieved. The author of «Match: how to find a partner in postmodernity»Believes that we have forgotten how to live and have created needs that are not ours. «You have to know how to detect what will make us happy, and if we are not clear about it, we will only find a lack “, he concludes.
Montaña Vázquez, defined as a ‘matchmaker’, knows what are the tricks and keys to becoming a “great match”:
— Become an emotional entrepreneur. “You have to know how to become your own leader, your own company and be your highest priority,” he says.
— Create a goal. “It will be the goal you want to achieve in your love life and be clear about the model of couple you want to have,” says Montaña Vázquez.
— Recover the beginner’s mindset. You have to have enthusiasm, curiosity and self-esteem, as if it were the first time you meet someone. “Recovering the beginner’s mentality involves asking yourself questions to improve, opening your eyes wide and enjoying everything you do like a child. And never say no to a new project in your life, you have to look at yourself with new eyes, “advises the writer.
— Persevere: «Remember everything you have achieved. As a personal trick, you have to practice meditation to be self-sufficient and starting from a premise to know that you don’t need anyone to be happy. Do not demand perfection in love because you will never achieve it, but demand impeccability, live in coherence with what you think and do and do not pursue perfection, but do it in the best way you know (if you don’t have it, don’t you can demand it). The writer Montaña Vázquez advises starting a wish board because, according to her, it really works. Put your wish paper in a place where you will always see it and that will be sending information to your subconscious. When you see it in your eyes, you end up having it in your mind and in the end you believe it. And if you believe it, you get it. Where you put your attention, you put the energy ”, he concludes.