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Against separation anxiety, we help babies develop their sense of security
Thanks to your love, your attention, your words, your care, your patience, your baby feels a sense of security long before the eighth month. This deep bond will allow him to build confidence in himself and in others which will reduce the anxiety of separation, the fear of the unknown.
The effects of this step are now lessened because precautions have been taken: for example at the nursery, at the maternal assistant, adaptation is gradual and the child can keep his blanket, the function of which is now known. of “transitional” object.
The transitional object: a precious help
When he cannot fall asleep, when he is tired, when he is afraid of seeing his mother or the person who usually takes care of him leave, the child hugs his child. bear that has no more hair or shape, a chewed up plush, or just a piece of cloth, become his treasure.
At first, the bear was a simple object that the child had on hand. Little by little he charged him with a whole range of feelings and sensations: “He is mine, I have chosen him, he must be left to me, I love him, I will defend him at all costs. , and especially with my bear, I am no longer alone when people leave me ”. It is this object that DW Winnicott called ” the transitional object », Because, he said, “It represents the baby’s transition from a state of fusion with the mother to a state of relationship with the mother as an external and separate person”.
Ledoudouis now part of the daily life of babies. It is offered as a birth gift, as an essential object. It even has its place in school: it is tolerated in the small kindergarten section but must be stored in the “doudous house”. It has become so important that parents, like professionals, are surprised if their child does not have a favorite object. However, some children, very secure, do not feel the need to have them. It is therefore useless to seek to impose it on them. Their thumb is often enough for them. This allows them, without depending on the blanket, to satisfy a natural need for suction, while reassuring themselves.
What do the reservations mean, the fears of the child in front of a stranger?
First, that the child recognizes familiar faces and the framework of his daily life. He is therefore confused by any novelty. It is moreover to take this stage of development into account that the nurseries wait until the children have more than 10 months to change them group, always gradually.
Then, this reaction is not the sign of regression but on the contrary, of progress. The child shows that he is beginning to become aware of himself and of others, that he now distinguishes the unknown from the known. If he is so attached to established rites, to habits taken, it is because they bring him the comfort and reassurance of déjà vu. The fact that things are not going as usual may worry him: why doesn’t Daddy come and get me like every night? Why is there a new baby at “Nanny”? Why has I changed my place bed? It is difficult to avoid all change. To anticipate the child’s fears, or allay them, you simply have to explain to them what is going on, then help them to cope with it as well as possible.
This awareness is fundamental in the sense thatit founds the first social and affective differentiations ; these will allow the child to make choices in his attractions, and to show his prudence on other occasions. The child will build defense mechanisms that will be valuable to him later : he will know how to be reserved with strangers, accept the necessary prohibitions, and understand dangerous situations. Then, later in society, he will differentiate between possible familiarity and the limits to be respected.