“At 62, I got married and moved to another country”

Olga

“After the death of my husband, I realized that I could not stay in the small town where I lived. I was 53 years old and I decided to leave. “I don’t know where, I don’t know why,” as everyone around said. My daughter had a friend who found a job in Moscow, she offered to go together.

I was faced with the fact that at my age all the doors were closed for me. With difficulty, I managed to get a job as a cleaning lady in a French cafe that opened. When, when applying for a job, they looked into my work book, they asked with surprise: “Are you sure you want this place after being a teacher with 35 years of experience?” I replied that nothing bothered me – I was starting a new life. And very soon became the head of the personnel department there.

I liked the new business, but a few years later the cafe was unexpectedly sold, and I was informed that from tomorrow I was free. I walked down the street, tears flowed, I said to myself: “It means that something will be better.” And again she began to look for work: in one place she washed the floors, in another she was a courier, in the third she washed the floors again.

Sometimes there was no money to buy a bus ticket, and I walked huge distances to the metro on foot. She walked and repeated: “Everything will be fine with me. It’s just that now is such a period, it must be experienced. ” When it was difficult, I went to the theater, it really supported me.

I bought the cheapest tickets and went there so often that the controllers knew me and put me in good seats

Through acquaintances, I managed to get a job in a beauty salon, again as a cleaner. But it was interesting: I wiped the dust, and at the same time studied all the jars of products and instructions for use. I knew all the products by heart. I was noticed and invited to the branch of our salon, the administrator.

Even in the most difficult periods, I did not regret that I challenged myself. She left a small town where everything was familiar and understandable, but reminded of the loss of a loved one. My departure gave me a sense of the sharpness and joy of life. That everything is in my hands. And with all the difficulties – a sense of the magic of life’s movement. And at the age of 62, I realized that I no longer want to be alone.

Lena, Olga’s daughter

“When my mother told me about her decision to try to arrange a personal life, I was delighted. She was very upset by the loss of her father and had been alone for ten years. It is not so easy to meet someone in our country at this age, and we decided not to neglect the Internet and try our luck on international dating sites.

Mom did not speak the language then, but I was an English teacher and could help. She chose the sites herself, posted her photos, and we began to wait for applicants. They did everything in one breath, not really believing in the reality of what was happening. And one day they received a letter from Ken, an Englishman, my mother’s age, who became interested in her life and spoke openly about himself.

Both my mother and I immediately felt that this was a good person with serious intentions.

She liked him. Ken was also a widower and could not imagine his life alone. We said that my mother did not speak English, but he was sure that this was fixable. Three of us went on Skype for the first time: Ken, mom and me. He looked at his mother, his mother looked at him. I translated. And I immediately felt that there was a mutual interest between them.

A few weeks later, Ken arrived, and after six months of meetings he made an offer. So my mother moved to England and has been living with him for eight years. Over the years, she not only learned the language perfectly, but also amazed everyone by the fact that after sixty she learned to drive a car and passed her license. Mom for me is an example of amazing love of life and fearlessness.

Ken, Olga’s husband

“Before meeting Olga, I had been married for forty years. When his wife passed away, he felt very lost. And then my friend suggested a dating site – just to talk to people and maybe get to know someone. But it seemed that everything was not right, nothing touched, and I was almost disappointed in this idea until I saw Olga’s page. I looked at her photo and felt – this lady is for me.

We were lucky – her daughter Lena helped with the translations. The first months were difficult. I took a vacation and we went on a trip around the country.

We spoke mostly with gestures, but feelings took their toll, we understood each other

Olga never ceases to amaze me: she quickly learned the language, knows and loves English traditions. She is incredibly kind and hospitable – we love to invite friends over. I am grateful to fate that Olga trusted me and she had the determination to change so much in her life for the sake of our relationship.

Daria Petrovskaya, gestalt therapist

“The story is incredibly inspiring. The path of change is very difficult, you have to overcome the inertia of both the psyche and the outside world. It rarely happens that you go through this path without mistakes and failures, and you need to be mentally prepared for this. Many people forget about this when they decide to change their lives: “I tried, it didn’t work out, it’s not destiny.”

However, both failures and success must be overcome. It was difficult for the heroine, it hurt, but she walked and believed that it would be better. This subtle moment – “went and believed” – is not always easy to understand. It is both faith in the best and hard work. Just faith without action will not help, just as chaotic actions may not work.

Faith (in God, the universe, destiny) gives a vision of perspective and helps to cope with the routine

Patient work advances to the goal. The gratitude of life is more a philosophical concept than a psychological one. This is the position of accepting life, not resenting it.

The heroine gave herself time to live the loss. And the fact that, according to her daughter, she was alone for 10 years, confirms that everyone needs their time on the mountain. She let the past go and decided to try to live on. That is, I accepted that life will never be the same.

All these factors give a resourceful picture of change: a person is moving, and the outside world is moving towards him. The work gradually becomes more interesting, a man appears. These chances are not sweet and vanilla: when everything is perfect, they also require work. The work is not easy, for relationships you need to learn the language. The fact that the heroine agrees with the difficulties, and does not resist them, and provides an opportunity for qualitative changes.