The world can seem cruel to people who can’t be assertive. Assertiveness is often lacking when people lack self-confidence and have difficulty expressing themselves. Fortunately, there are tips to be successful in asserting yourself.

Do you have trouble asserting yourself because you lack confidence? Do you have a hard time saying no? To impose on you? Find out why and where this behavior is coming from. It could come from your childhood or your experience as an adult, because you have been under the influence of toxic people, for example. Anyway, finding the origin of this difficulty makes it possible to see it a little more clearly.

To be able to assert yourself, you have to know yourself. Self-assertion requires a better knowledge of oneself, because in order to express yourself, you have to know how to identify your feelings, weaknesses, strengths and limits.

Before asserting yourself in a specific situation, you must first know what you want and what you need. So you can express it to others.

To be heard, you have to speak! Whether in a conflict, meeting or debate, don’t be afraid to be clear about your point of view.

But whatever message you want to get across, it will be better understood if you deliver it firmly, yet gently. You speak for yourself, not against the other. If a situation does not suit you, you should get involved in the conversation by using the “I” rather than the accusatory “you”: “I do not feel respected” rather than “you do not respect me”, for example.

Think carefully before you talk about yourself: “what an idiot” or “I am incapable of” are like bad spells that you throw on yourself. Assertiveness involves reformulating your sentences in a positive way. Pick up the good rather than the bad. Your successes rather than your failures.

If you want to learn to assert your choices and your personality, you will have to take risks by stepping out of your comfort zone. It’s a great way to know your own limits, to unleash your full potential, and to feel that you are capable. Risk-taking also allows you to put your failures into perspective.

Sometimes you have a hard time asserting yourself because you just aren’t prepared enough. This can be the case in work, for example, or in all situations where one has to negotiate or speak in public. The more you prepare, the more you know your topic and your arguments, the better you will be able to assert yourself.

Self-assertion also involves your physique, your way of holding yourself, your gaze … Practice standing up straight, shoulders raised, head held high, supporting the gaze of your interlocutor, not assured and to smile, because your attitude influences your thinking.

In order to become assertive, you have to learn to say no, which is a difficult exercise for many people. Follow our tips for learning how to say no.