Are your emotions getting in the way of your goals?

We start each new year with promises to ourselves: to lose weight, sign up for language courses, be kinder to family and friends. And how unfortunate that our Napoleonic plans can sometimes collapse due to momentary boredom or blues. What danger is fraught with our emotions and how to prevent it in time?

“We believe we can change if we want to,” says psychologist Catherine Sykers. – But not everything is so simple. Our momentary decisions are strongly influenced by emotions.” And we are talking not only about negative emotions like stress, boredom and anxiety. An overly positive attitude can also be harmful. Happiness and self-confidence can cause us to overlook the problems that have arisen and avoid the changes we need.

So, the first step to getting rid of the harmful influence of emotions is to recognize this influence. “When you understand how they affect you, you can plan how to avoid it,” says University of Leeds health psychologist Daryl O’Connor. For example, you constantly reach for a cigarette when you feel anxious, or drink coffee when you are stressed. You can put a packet of gum or a bag of nuts nearby as a substitute beforehand.

Next, you should think: “How can I use this emotion to motivate myself?” Stress, anxiety, and fear, while negative emotions, can energize us and help turn intentions into action. The more you worry about aching lower back pain, the more likely you are not to skip your Pilates class. “There are no unconstructive emotions,” says coach Ivan Kirillov, author of the book Stress Surfing. Stress for good and for pleasure. – The problem is that we are not always able to recognize them and direct them in the right direction. Any emotion is a response of the body to a stimulus. It creates the energy to respond. Where to direct this energy is up to you. Here are examples of how you can use your own emotional responses constructively.

Feeling of confidence

For highly confident people, the intentions to lead a healthy lifestyle often remain intentions. When you feel confident, unhealthy lifestyles (smoking, poor exercise, lack of sleep) may not bother you enough to make you want to change. It is important to understand how it will be useful for you to improve something in yourself. Let’s say quit smoking so you can smell better and breathe more freely.

Anxiety

Anxiety is usually associated with stress and leads to all the negative consequences that are listed in the corresponding section. But it can also be associated with fear. “A lot of people are so afraid of failing that they don’t even try,” says psychotherapist Pete Cohen. Instead of worrying about possible failure, start worrying about how unhealthy your lifestyle is. “If people want to change, they need to start worrying that they are doing something wrong at the moment,” says Cohen, “anxiety can give energy.”

Stress

When our brain is overwhelmed with an avalanche of thoughts and worries and we are stressed, we want to calm ourselves down. Therefore, we choose those things that stimulate the areas of the brain responsible for pleasure and reward. We perceive sweets, food and alcohol as a reward. “When we get them, the brain releases a neurotransmitter that works like the brain’s inhibitory system, and we immediately feel relaxed,” says nutritionist Charlotte Watts (Charlotte Watts). “But going to the gym can have the same effect. Even short-term physical activity perfectly drives the stress hormone out of the body.

Happiness

Satisfaction with life can lead to carelessness. Why try to walk more when you are already doing well? “It’s like some part of the brain is trying to protect us from change,” says Pete Cohen, “if you try to change something too much, the brain seems to say: “Why are you doing this to yourself?” To overcome this obstacle, he says, you need to shake things up a bit and find the motivation to change your behavior. After all, it is much easier for a happy person to change than an unhappy one. In this state, you are open to everything new, and any change is always something new. When we are happy, we are better at solving any problems and tasks, so you can easily figure out how to make time for dance classes in a busy work schedule or how to add more vegetables to your favorite dish.

Sadness

“When we are sad, it is almost impossible to concentrate and stick to our plans,” Cohen explains. Any effort seems too heavy. It is extremely difficult to find and mobilize the forces that are required for change. The best way to change the psychological state is to influence the physical state. “If you want to beat the state of sadness, the best remedy is to move more,” advises Cohen. Walk, go to the gym, do anything that releases mood-boosting endorphins.

Boredom

Severe stress can unsettle us, but the same thing happens with the almost complete absence of stress and exciting factors. “Studies show that people who do passive or low-effort work tend to move little and rarely strive to lead a healthy lifestyle,” says Daryl O’Connor. – They are bored”. Those who complain about boredom usually do not follow the daily routine, and after all, regularity is the key to the success of any positive change. If you are doing boring activities, try to replace at least one of them with a healthy activity – go for a swim or read up on which vitamins you should take.

* I. Kirillov “Stress surfing. Stress for good and pleasure” (Alpina Publisher, 2013).

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