Are you ready to plan a baby? Ask yourself 2 main questions

Time shift

Modern society is in no hurry to have children. Previously, they were born when expectant mothers were twenty or twenty-five. Today, the age of women in labor has shifted five, ten, or even fifteen years forward. Such women were previously considered old-bearing. But today it has become the norm to decide to have a child when you are over thirty. However, with age, trying on a new role – the role of a mother – becomes more and more difficult. 

Tough decision

The fact that global changes in life raise doubts is natural. We always wonder if we should radically change the way of life to which we are accustomed. We have managed to form certain requirements for leisure and the quality of this very life. Over time, the bar rises, all resources – including financial ones – are spent on covering their needs. And then there are friends who have recently plunged into motherhood and tell stories about sleepless nights … 

But at some point, a project called “child” still appears on the horizon. The woman thinks and decides: “it’s time.” Often this decision is made not without the participation of the family and society. We still have a widespread opinion that a woman can fulfill herself only in motherhood. 

However, before you decide to become a parent, ask yourself the first question: why do I need a child?

Answering it is not as easy as it seems: it leads many into a dead end. Answer it as honestly as possible and look at the result: it may surprise you. It is also useful to think about how the environment affects your desire to have a baby. Maybe you feel the pressure of your parents, or is it a desire to imitate your girlfriends?   

Reflect on whether you are able to accept the child as he is, and not as you imagine him to be. Do you have enough willingness to devote most of your time and energy not to work and not to a loved one, but to a new life that will be born in you? 

Make your child a happy mother

Approximately half of pregnancies somehow turn out to be unplanned. Despite the fact that we live in the age of contraception, even the second and third children for a woman can be a surprise. Is it possible to make both yourself and the unborn child happy already at the stage of pregnancy? Undoubtedly.

And if you are planning a child, ask yourself the second important question: do you know how to be happy?

Enjoying life and feeling happy is a skill best learned as a child.

However, if there is no such skill, then you will have to master it along the way. Learn to accept your changing body and new social role. Learn to enjoy your condition – first from pregnancy, and then from motherhood. Your feelings will definitely be passed on to the baby: it has been scientifically proven that while still in the womb, the child perceives our emotions at the biochemical level and feels when you stroke your stomach or talk to him. 

To be a healthy and happy mother and woman, you need to cultivate a fundamental sense of happiness in yourself. Turn inside yourself. Develop positive thinking. Learn to be content with life. If you feel that there are not enough resources, seek the help of a perinatal psychologist. 

Attend childbirth preparation courses, communicate with pregnant mothers, expand your horizons – both at the stage of pregnant life and when you become a mother. A state of happiness can be achieved through many things: a healthy lifestyle, moderate exercise, swimming, yoga, fitness, good nutrition and being well informed – the main thing is to take time for yourself and your body.

Write a list of what makes you happy. What things make you happy and give you special pleasure? From the simplest, like a cup of coffee or a walk in the park, to the most difficult, like going to the store without a child. Check this list if you suddenly feel that you do not have enough positive emotions, and do something nice for yourself. No wonder when preparing for a flight we are told to put on a mask first on ourselves and then on the child. Therefore, if you are having difficulty accepting your pregnancy and your new position, it is important to work through this issue with a specialist.