Contents
- First time – are you physically ready for it?
- First time – emotional, psychological and social maturity
- First time – how to prepare?
- First time – when and when is the perfect time for first sex?
- What does the first time look like?
- First time – what positions will work?
- First time and contraception
- First time and pregnancy – what are the facts?
- The first time – the most frequently repeated myths
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The first time is an important and, at the same time, very stressful moment for partners of both sexes. Women are usually afraid of pain or bleeding, while men are confronted with doubts as to whether they will fulfill their partners’ imaginations and will certainly live up to their expectations. What is worth remembering when preparing for the first time? What does the first time look like? And most importantly, are you sure you are ready to start your sex life?
First time – are you physically ready for it?
Before you start preparing for the first time, one should very seriously consider whether this is the moment, this time, and this person. You have to answer the question are you ready for the first sex in your life? Of course, the answer to this question is not the easiest one, but you can try to analyze the physiological, psychological and social conditions.
Physiological signs of sexual maturity are the most objective factors in making the decision to start sexual intercourse. Of course, the physiological signs of sexual maturity are different for both sexes.
The physiological signs of sexual maturity in women can be divided into:
- hair on the armpits and around the genitals. In sexually mature girls, the pubic hair becomes triangular and the pubic hair becomes thick, thick and curled;
- enlarged nipples and breast growth. In sexually mature girls, the areola blends with the breast line, which is already fully developed;
- menstruation and ovulation are regular, as long as there are no hormonal disturbances. It is worth remembering that at the beginning of puberty, the vagina is very inflexible and does not produce natural lubricants. Only after 5-6 years after the first menstruation does it become a flexible, strong and durable organ to endure childbirth;
- the silhouette becomes feminine and the maximum body height is reached. However, it should be remembered that each organism is shaped slightly differently and the endocrine system itself may affect the pace at which a woman’s body will develop. It is not uncommon for women after the age of 21 to grow another cup. The regularity of the menstrual cycle, which is a very important aspect when planning intercourse, especially at a very young age, also depends on the proper functioning of the endocrine system.
Boys enter puberty about two years later than girls. Physiological signs of sexual maturity in men can be divided into:
- masculine, more muscular figure. Boys experience considerable widening of the arms and chest. In addition, there is hair on the chest and abdomen;
- there is pronounced armpit and pubic hair. In sexually mature boys, pubic hair takes on the appearance of adults;
- the penis enlarges, the testes secrete sperm, and for several months, sometimes years, semen ejaculates;
- there is stubble on the upper lip, on the cheeks and on the chin. In sexually mature boys, the facial hair becomes clearer and stronger;
- towards the end of puberty in boys it decreases significantly and there is usually no sudden jump in height or change in general shape.
If you want to know more about sexual maturation, read on: The physiology of puberty
The physiological signs of sexual maturity only answer the questions about the body’s readiness for the first sex. This means being ready for sexual initiation, pregnancy and childbirth. The aspects related to the partners’ psyche are equally important, but also the social context.
For example, from a physiological point of view, it is assumed that when the menstrual cycle stabilizes, i.e. around 12-14. 20 years of age, girls’ sexual maturation ends. However, full physical and emotional maturity can only be said when the same girl is around XNUMX years of age. Although it is not a hard limit and in each case it should be determined individually.
It is difficult to clearly answer the question of whether you are ready for sex at this exact moment. However, if you have the following dilemmas in your mind, it is a sign that it is not yet time to start your sex life.
- You find it inconvenient to talk about sex – If you can’t talk about sex right now, or you are embarrassed about it, this is a sign that this is not the time for your first time. If you get nervous, stressed, or simply avoid answering the topic of sex, postpone the decision about the first time until later. Each entry into a sexual relationship requires both partners to have the appropriate level of maturity and willingness to talk, not so much about sex itself, but about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases. The first time is an important moment in your life, so it is worth talking about your emotions, fears, expectations or issues that you do not accept.
- You don’t feel completely safe in your current relationship – the right partner is one of the most important issues when deciding on your first time. With the right partner, you feel safe, not only physically but also emotionally. You are not afraid of the possible consequences of sex or, for example, of getting hurt. Remember that the right partner will always wait for you to feel safe.
- You claim that everyone around you is having sex, so you have to start too – this is one of the worst motivations behind the decision about the first time. Never decide to have sex for the first time just because everyone in your group of friends or acquaintances has already done it. First, they probably tell made up stories, and second, maybe they’re just ready to engage in sexual activity.
- You do not have an emotional bond with your partner – of course, no one expects to love a partner with whom we decide on our first time. However, if you do not have a positive emotional connection with your partner, your expectations for sex can seriously fail you. It’s definitely better to wait for someone to make the moment worthwhile
- You feel insecure – if you are looking in books or on the Internet for answers to whether you are ready to be ready for sex, you probably are not. The moment you decide you want it, you need to be confident and ready to face any consequences that may come with it.
How is adolescence related to identity? Read on: Maturation as a process of shaping identity
First time – how to prepare?
When you feel confident and ready for the first time and all its consequences, it is worth considering what is important before sex? Below are some tips to help you get ready for your first time:
- contraception during the first time – apart from readiness and certainty, it is one of the most important issues that need to be taken care of. Contraception protects not only against unwanted pregnancies, but also against venereal diseases. Natural methods of avoiding pregnancy should not be trusted, and the benefits of intermittent sex should be forgotten. To prevent pregnancy and reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections, condoms are the best choice. However, it is best to ask your gynecologist about the most effective and appropriate method of contraception. The doctor will advise whether it is the right time for hormonal contraception or whether it is worth using a different method. A visit to the gynecologist before the first time will certainly increase the psychological comfort during sex, and will also allow you to recognize the many myths that circulate on the Internet about the first time;
- time and place of the first time – choosing the right place, but also the time of the first sex in your life, is of great importance. It is not worth listening to opinions in which couples boast about spontaneity or previously unplanned scenery. The first time should be planned so carefully that nobody and nothing will surprise you or stress you. It is worth choosing a place where no one will be disturbed for sure, and a relatively unlimited time so as not to rush before the return of parents or roommate. It is a good idea to arrange the space properly – lit candles, romantic music or flowers can significantly affect the experience during the first time;
- stimulants before the first time – it is not uncommon that the decision about the first time is made under the influence of alcohol intoxication or drug intoxication. Alcohol also accompanies the first intercourse as a medicine to take courage. However, you should definitely avoid any stimulants before the first time, mainly because they reduce sensitivity to physical sensations. In addition, alcohol or other intoxicants can affect your well-being or behavior in an unpredictable way, and even worse, they can affect decisions that you would not make sober;
- intimate gel for the first time – One of the most common concerns of women about the first try is pain associated with a rupture of the hymen and a narrow vaginal opening. This pain does not always occur, but there is also no rule. It is therefore a good idea to use an intimate gel, which will make the penis easier to enter the vagina and the feeling of pain will be minimal. Intimate gel is also an invaluable product in the bedroom when the partner is tense and penetration is simply impossible. In addition, there are intimate gels on the market enriched with stimulating additives that enhance sexual experiences. Many of these products are dedicated to couples for whom these are the first close-ups and contain aloe vera with soothing and soothing properties. You can also reach for a lubricant that ensures proper hydration of intimate places;
- preparation before the first time – you must not forget to prepare yourself properly before sex. There is no need to remind anyone that before the first (and each subsequent) time you need to bathe and take care of your body. If necessary, you can shave your private parts or remove excess hair. It is worth taking care of nice underwear or a pleasant body odor. Such preparation will make you feel attractive, confident and comfortable above all;
- good mood for the first time – if you are in a bad mood, you had a bad day at work or at the university, you are generally nervous, it is better to postpone the first time to another occasion. Feeling bad can completely spoil the experience of your first sex.
Do you want to know more about the types of intimate gels? Check: Soothing, stimulating or moisturizing? Choose the best intimate gel!
At Medonet Market you will find a wide selection of condoms that can be matched to your individual needs.
First time – when and when is the perfect time for first sex?
At what age is it best to decide for the first time? This is not a question that can be answered unambiguously. However, this is a very important issue, because in Poland, sex with a person under the age of 15 is punishable by law. This provision was formulated in article 200 of the Criminal Code and reads:
Whoever has sex with a minor under the age of 15 or commits another sexual activity to such a person or causes him to submit to such activities or to perform them, shall be subject to the penalty of liberty for a term of between 2 and 12 years..
In this case, it does not matter if the person agrees and wants to have sex. If the evidence clearly shows that the person was under 15 at the time of intercourse, the perpetrator will be punished.
Another important issue before sexual intercourse begins is reaching adulthood, i.e. turning 18 years old. According to Polish law, before reaching the age of majority, you should attend a medical appointment with a legal guardian, usually a parent. The legal guardian does not have to be present during the examination of a minor child, but should be informed about the result. In addition, it is the legal guardian who agrees to any possible treatment of the patient, including ordering hormonal contraception.
Before starting hormonal contraception, it is worth conducting a genetic test of Aware woman before contraception, which allows to determine some gene mutations that affect the selection of contraception.
Apart from legal provisions, the issue of the age at which sexual activity will begin is extremely individual. Some people feel confident and ready just after the age of 18, but there are also those who postpone this decision for a few more years.
An interesting fact is that millennials, i.e. the generation of people born in the 80s and 90s, decide on their first time later than their parents. Research shows that 1 in 8 people aged 26 and over had never had sex, while millennial parents mostly lost their virginity in their teens. Therefore, the decision about the first time should always depend on an individual decision and a sense of sexual, emotional or social maturity.
If you want to know what intermittent intercourse is, check out: Intermittent intercourse – what it is and whether it is effective in preventing pregnancy
What does the first time look like?
Many of the fears and stresses associated with the first try are due to a lack of knowledge and improper preparation for the sexual act. Among people who are just planning their first time, there is a doubt that the first sex is at all pleasant. This is especially true for women and when the hymen is broken.
Is the first time painful? There is no clear answer to this question either, as it depends on the anatomy of the woman and the mutual anatomical relationships between the partners themselves. If the hymen is thin, flexible, with little blood flow, it will tear without difficulty and leave no major trace. If the hymen is inflexible, thick and covers a larger area of the vestibule, the same tearing can be painful and cause slight bleeding. Therefore, a very important element is foreplay and proper preparation for introducing the penis into the vagina.
Remember not to rush the first time. You have to give yourself time to feel comfortable, intimate and relaxed. Foreplay is an extremely important part of the first time. In the case of the first sexual acts, partners are very often unaware of their sexuality, do not know what to focus on, but also strive to get aroused as quickly as possible. Young people often know little about erogenous zones, identifying them only with the genitals. Therefore, the first time will be a much more valuable experience if partners get to know their bodies and understand what they really enjoy.
If you want to know more about the specifics of the hymen, read on: Hymen – what do you need to know about it?
First time – what positions will work?
The Kama Sutra manuals are full of items that will diversify your sexual experience. However, in the case of the first time, it is worth focusing on a few basic positions that will give maximum pleasure to a woman and a man.
Among the items that will work during the first time, it is worth mentioning:
- classic position for missionary – this is one of the most popular sexual positions, which is primarily recommended during the first time, especially with the pillow variant. In the basic version of this position, the woman lies on her back with straight and slightly extended legs. The man lying on it sets the pace, but does not press against the woman with his body. During the first intercourse, a woman should put a pillow under her back and buttocks. Such a procedure will alleviate any unpleasant sensations associated with the rupture of the hymen. The greatest advantage of this position is the special closeness between partners, including the ability to maintain eye contact, kiss or cuddle;
- doggy style – it is a position that gives a lot of satisfaction to both men and women. In this position, the partner kneels behind the partner, she leans forward and rests on her elbows or hands. The higher the buttocks are, the deeper the penetration will be. Therefore, they should not be raised too high during the first time. This position works well for partners with a significant difference in height or weight;
- position on the rider – this is another item of the more popular ones. It is often said to have been invented for or by lazy men. This is not a fair comment, although this position does not require any special effort on the part of the gentlemen. In this position, the woman straddles the man’s hips and sets the pace of sex herself. The undoubted advantage of this position is that a man can admire a woman’s body in all its glory, as well as caress the breasts with his hands or additionally stimulate the clitoris;
- teaspoon position – in this position, the woman lies on her side, and the partner lying behind her introduces the penis into the vagina. The spoon position is easy, fun and allows you to enjoy each other’s closeness. Similarly to the doggy position, it works well when there is a large difference in weight or height between partners. In addition, it allows you to stimulate the G-spot.
Find out more about the best sex positions here: Sexual positions – Kamasutra, dangerous positions. The best sex positions
Do you want to raise the temperature in the bedroom? Reach for one of the intimate gels available on Medonet Market:
- moisturizing intimate gel Durex Originals Feel,
- Durex Warming intimate gel enhancing the experience,
- Durex Tingling intimate gel that releases the thrill.
First time and contraception
Contraception has already been discussed when considering how to prepare for the first time. However, it is worth paying attention to the possible types of contraceptionbecause nowadays partners have a really wide choice. Each method of contraception has its advantages and disadvantages, so it is worth carefully analyzing your expectations and needs and only then decide what to focus on during the first time.
The most commonly used contraceptives include:
- condoms – it is a type of male contraception, although female condoms also exist, but they are definitely less popular. Condoms are easily available, quite effective and relatively cheap. The advantage of condoms is that they protect against sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms come in a variety of sizes, although couples often choose one size fits all. It is best to buy condoms at a pharmacy or in proven drugstores, it is also worth checking if their packaging is intact. When properly worn, the condom should be fully extended with a place for semen on the tip of the condom. Remember that a condom is always put on before intercourse, not just before ejaculation;
- spermicides – these are preparations that are available in the form of vaginal foams or globules. Unfortunately, the effectiveness of these measures is average, so it is worth using them in combination with condoms. Currently, spermicides are not very popular, so it is much more difficult to get them in pharmacies or drugstores;
- hormonal contraceptives – two types are available. The first is an agent that releases the two hormones estrogen and progesterone. Means of this type are available in the form of tablets, patches or vaginal rings. This type of contraception is very effective, but at the same time it can lead to many complications. Therefore, each time you take them, consult your doctor who issues a prescription for the tablets. The second type of hormonal agent is agents that only release progesterone. These types of contraceptives are available in the form of tablets, IUDs, implants, and injections. As with the first contraceptives, these also require a prescription from a doctor
Are you looking for premium condoms? You can choose between the SKYN Selection + SKYN Senses condom set or the SKYN Unknown Pleasures condom set.
If you want to know more about methods of contraception, read on: Contraception – natural, hormonal, chemical and mechanical methods
First time and pregnancy – what are the facts?
For many years, there has been a myth among teenagers that you cannot get pregnant the first time. This myth is based on the principle that the hymen prevents sperm from penetrating deep into the vagina. Unfortunately, the hymen is by no means a natural contraceptive. If a woman is ovulating for the first time, the likelihood of pregnancy is the same as the next time. A woman becomes fertile from the moment her first menstruation occurs, so any sex that ends with penetration may end in pregnancy.
What is the morning after pill? Check: The morning after pill – how does it work and when to use it?
The first time – the most frequently repeated myths
Finally, it’s worth looking at myths that are often repeated in the context of the first time. The information about the first time is definitely not true:
- you do not get pregnant after the first time – this issue has already been clarified earlier. The hymen is not a method of contraception, and in any sexual act, a healthy woman of childbearing age can become pregnant;
- the first time is always painful – many women feel no pain at all the first time they go. It happens that the pain is the result of stress or the attitude itself that it must hurt for the first time. It all depends on the anatomical structure of the woman and her hymen;
- every woman bleeds profusely during the first time – bleeding may occur but is extremely rarely heavy. In many cases, bleeding is absent or so scanty that it can only be seen on toilet paper;
- the later a woman decides to go for the first time, the more pain she will feel – the age of sexual initiation has nothing to do with pain. As mentioned, it all depends on the thickness and composition of the hymen;
- the penis may not fit into the vagina during the first time – of course, a woman who is a virgin has a slightly tighter vagina than a woman who has already had sex, but at the same time it is flexible and stretchable, so it can easily fit a member of standard sizes;
- the hymen always ruptures the first time – not necessarily. If a woman has a thick and insusceptible hymen, there is a high probability that it will not be completely pierced the first time. It is possible that only after a few penetrations will the hymen be completely removed.
What else is worth knowing about sex? Check: You know everything about sex. Are you sure?
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