The definition of «middle-aged lady» is now hopelessly outdated, according to writer Leah Hardy. At least in relation to modern women 40-50 years old, it should be seriously reconsidered.
Slender, light, dressed in youthful style, Polly Kemp teaches yoga in one of the cool country hotels in Somerset. She is active on Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia), loves fashion and travel. Polly is 51 years old and a mother of three. In addition to daughter Iggy, she and photographer husband Ian have two other sons, Gabriel, 22, and Finley, 17.
“Don’t get me wrong, I have no illusions that I’m 19 or I look 19,” Polly explains. — I feel quite comfortable in my body, with my wrinkles and gray hair in my hair. But I know for sure that I live in a completely different way than my mother and grandmother lived at the same age. Iggy and I trade things a lot, even though we wear them differently. Both love vintage clothes and therefore often visit second-hand shops together. We like the same series and we both follow the daily updates of our favorite yoga youtube channel. And when I hear the expression “middle-aged lady”, I brake sharply and think: “Is this about me, or what?” I don’t polish my silverware in the evenings, I don’t plan menus, and I’m not too immersed in household chores in general. I still act spontaneously and I don’t think that’s a quality we traditionally associate with middle age.»
I understand well what Polly is talking about. If I were asked to imagine myself at the age of 53 when I was a teenager, I would describe a woman with hair that is much shorter and grayer than it really is. And she would wear dresses instead of jeans, powder a lot and not use CC cream.
Ladies who have come out of the Balzac age today look, feel and live differently than the previous generation
A recent survey by The Telegraph showed that 96% of women over 40, like Polly and me, do not feel like middle-aged women at all. According to the results of another study conducted by the marketing agency SuperHuman, 80% of women believe that the society’s perception of middle age does not correspond to the reality in which they live.
Two out of three respondents feel themselves in the prime of life; 59% feel as energetic and young as ever, partly because of their focus on health and fitness, and 84% say they don’t define themselves by age.
SuperHuman was founded by Rebecca Rhodes (44) and Sandra Peet (42) after noticing that brands fail to understand how middle-aged women have changed. These companies have so many negative stereotypes about women over 40 that they pay all attention to young people, forgetting about the greater financial solvency of mature customers.
“We know that 85% of buying decisions are made by women and 91% of them believe that advertisers do not understand them,” says Rebecca Rhodes. “As a result, 84% of the women we interviewed used products and services that they believed were intended for young people. But the generation gap is shrinking. Ladies who have come out of the Balzac age today look, feel and live differently than the previous generation — 90% consider themselves much younger than their mothers and their peers at the same age.
The authoritative American magazine People recognized the 49-year-old Julia Roberts as the most beautiful woman of 2017. This happened 26 years after her first victory in this category. And the youthful French President Emmanuel Macron (40 years old) was recently captured by photographers passionately kissing his charming wife Bridget, who will soon turn 65 years old.
Everywhere we look, we will see women who are prospering and changing the course of life. Many of them — from JK Rowling and Nicole Kidman to 68-year-old Anna Wintour — are still at the peak of creative activity. They are influential, socially and politically engaged.
American Internet entrepreneur Gina Pell, 49, coined a term to describe people with this ageless mentality: perennials.
She explains: “Perennials are the ever-blooming men and women who keep up with the times, know what’s going on in the world, stay up to date with technology, and have friends of all ages. We are involved in various life processes, we are curious, creative, responsive, self-confident, willing to share experience and take the risk of sharp political statements.”
This attitude to life is helped by … the way we look. Research by Ellen Langer, a professor of psychology at Harvard University, has shown that people who feel older than others tend to age faster. Largely because they stop dressing modern. And those of the subjects who dressed the same as younger colleagues suffered fewer diseases associated with age.
The good news is that fashion trends today are becoming more and more universal. Seeing a figure in front of you in jeans and Converse sneakers — the current «uniform» worn by everyone from young to old — you will not always make out how old this woman is.
Take a look at the photos of Julianne Moore, 56, and Emma Watson, 27: despite a thirty-year age difference, they both prefer the same type of striped t-shirts, oversized coats, leather jackets, jeans and sneakers.
Assessing her personal style evolution, Polly says: “I used to think that by this age I would want to look elegant. And I like to look cool and sexy, I just don’t take off my sneakers, and I even wonder why I even bought other shoes. Like my daughter Iggy, I wear jeans all the time, although I can pair them with a silk blouse and jacket.”
Age models and celebrities are becoming more visible in advertising and cinema, and ordinary women in their 40s and 50s are still discounted.
A remarkable fact was found by researchers from SuperHuman: 67% of women over 40 feel more confident than ten years ago, and many of them more ambitious.
“Solving difficult problems” is important for 60% of respondents, “meeting personal needs” is a priority for 61%, and 63% are “very optimistic” about the future. Nearly 80% of women over 40 said they have a strong need to gain new experiences and learn something previously unknown — both with and without their children.
Writer Fiona Gibson, 52, admits that under the influence of her 17-year-old daughter, who became a vegetarian a year ago, she herself dramatically changed her diet. “Erin opened my eyes to the ethical issues and the disadvantages of a meat diet,” says Fiona. “Now I go perhaps four days out of seven without meat and other animal food.”
But there is one dark cloud in this serene sunny picture. Mature women really feel more confident than in their 30s in terms of their abilities and attitudes. But 48% of them admit that they feel less confident when it comes to their appearance. They are “forced” to continue to look young, and social pressure affects their self-perception — this is said by 83% of 40-year-olds.
Rebecca Rhodes calls this the «certainty paradox» and adds that while older models and celebrities are becoming more visible in commercials and on the movie screen, the average woman in her 40s and 50s is still being discounted.
“Still, the future,” concludes Gina Pell, “is with forward-thinking companies like Netflix and Amazon who profile their customers by their tastes, not their age. In fact, to define people by the year of their birth is the last century.