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We raise sociable children with good manners who achieve their goals. Why do experts care? Numbers and comments.
As part of a joint project with the Yuri Levada Analytical Center, we continue to compile a psychological portrait of our society. Today we are talking about the qualities that we want to instill in children. Here’s what the “top three” of the latest survey looked like (respondents could choose several options or suggest their own).* “The ability to achieve one’s goals” – 49%. “The ability to communicate with people” – 38%. “Good manners and good conduct” – 37%. The qualities are excellent – however, one could hardly expect negative features.
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The question “What qualities do you think are most important among those that many parents would like to instill in their children?” Sociologists at the Levada Center have been asking Russians since 1995. And since 1998, among the proposed answer options (you can choose several options), for the first time the following appeared: “The ability to achieve your goals.” And immediately came out on top. He is in the lead to this day, constantly increasing in popularity – if in 1998 he was preferred by 40% of the respondents, then in August of this year already 49 *. But the last place on the list, quite unexpectedly, was occupied by such a quality, it would seem, appreciated by parents in children, like obedience. Moreover, even in 1995 it was not in great demand – then it was chosen by only 8% of respondents. Now their share has been reduced to 5%.
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Sociologist Alexei Grazhdankin, deputy director of the Levada Center, attributes this to the changes that took place in society in the late 1980s and 1990s. “In a very chaotic competitive environment that was rapidly emerging at that time, the most important thing was to achieve our goals at any cost. And those who succeeded, instantly rose to success. But the bearers of traditional values are clearly the losers. Therefore, the values themselves began to be perceived as unnecessary, leading to failure. This idea is confirmed by the fact that not only obedience is not in honor of parents. Such traditionally valued qualities as loyalty and devotion or frugality have also found themselves at the bottom of the list of pedagogical priorities and continue to lose popularity. In 1995, their upbringing in children was considered necessary by 13% of parents. Today, loyalty and devotion gained only 9% of the respondents’ votes, thrift – 10%. Another trend is the decline in the popularity of such qualities as independence and the ability to stand up for oneself. In 1995, 23% of parents spoke about the importance of independence for children. Today – 16%. And the ability to stand up for oneself back in 2007 was one of the leaders of the list – it was considered important to educate children in 38% of the survey participants. In 2014, the percentage dropped to 28. “Probably, this can be associated with the paternalistic nature of the state, which the current government is trying to build,” believes Alexei Grazhdankin. “And with the readiness of citizens to accept this state of affairs.” And really: why stand up for yourself if it is possible to delegate this often unpleasant duty to specially trained people? But the question remains: what will happen if the interests of the state and its citizens suddenly do not decisively coincide? Alas, today’s children may not be ready for such a turn of events.
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And finally, one more unpleasant circumstance. The popularity of the quality defined by sociologists as “conscientiousness in work” is steadily declining. In 1995, 36% of respondents considered it important, today – 27. “I think this is due to the same circumstances as the popularity of the ability to achieve one’s goals,” Alexei Grazhdankin reflects. – In the 90s, initiative was the key to success. But initiative and conscientiousness in work are not at all identical. The choice of the most important qualities for upbringing indicates that today we prefer short-term strategies and focus our children on this. Quick success requires just the ability to achieve your goals, and good manners, and the ability to find a common language with people – qualities that are also at the top of the list. And qualities that imply long-term strategies for achieving success – conscientiousness in work, loyalty and devotion – are less popular.
* The survey was conducted on August 22–25, 2014 on a representative all-Russian sample of the urban and rural population among 1600 people aged 18 and over in 134 settlements in 46 regions of the country.