Sexologist Catherine Blanc reflects on the prejudices that complicate our intimate life.
Those who consider erotic literature for women truly forget that for centuries its authors were exclusively male. And if today women take up the pen, it is far from always in order to focus on this cherished topic. By the way, let’s take the sensational novel «Fifty Shades of Grey» * — is it really that erotic? Flat text, a string of cliches studded with rude words. The plot is a billionaire, whose capital seems to personify his unprecedented sexual power, seduces a virgin … Women who have been reproached for so long with tightness seem to now consider themselves obliged to admit their sexual fantasies, reject prohibitions and put everything on display! Although vulgar language rarely really excites.
On the other hand, is it not a pity that men, in turn, do not try to create their own language — a reflection of their vision of sexuality? Not necessarily by reading or writing erotic texts — but by showing their deep sense of erotica, completely different from that of women.
If we assume that only women are interested in erotic literature, then we have to assume that in male sexuality there is nothing but physiology! As if a man only needs a pair of breasts or buttocks to get turned on. And even if such a “straightforward” way exists, it is certainly not the only one. Men who adopt this caricature-like approach to intimacy soon realize that it only works at first. Once a relationship is established, there is a need for creativity. And if a man is not ready for it, he will simply be forced to look for contacts on the side in order to again find sources of “simple” excitement. Strange as it may seem, this stereotype, which reduces male sex only to mechanics, sometimes even suits a woman: you can not be afraid that a partner will have bizarre dreams in which she herself may not be …
- The nature of her desire
The same logic works if a woman believes that a man always experiences an orgasm when he ejaculates: it means that his pleasure is entirely in her power. And most importantly, this is how a woman continues to believe that she, unlike a man, has a complex mental organization and therefore can only condescend to him … We add that women rarely let men into the world of their sexual fantasies: they need to believe in the notorious primitiveness the male psyche to get out of the realm of dreams and allow yourself to move on to sex. Another example of how the representatives of both sexes find themselves in captivity of a caricature scheme that does not benefit their relationship in any way.
* E. James «Fifty Shades of Gray» (Eksmo, 2012).