The reflex makes us “stress eat”. We console ourselves with delicious food when we are sad or waiting for bad news. Sometimes it’s especially hard to resist temptation, but we have the opportunity to learn other ways to please ourselves.
Who among us hasn’t reached for the fridge when we get bad news or just out of boredom? Who hasn’t consoled himself with a slice – why be modest – a whole bar of chocolate? Nothing surprising! People have been using food to quell anxiety since prehistoric times. “Our ancestors, cavemen, woke up hungry, with the thought that there was nothing to eat, and calmed down only when they found something to fill their stomach with,” says psychologist Nadia Andreeva. “Today, our refrigerators are full of food, but this archaic fear still largely determines our eating behavior.” We add that foods, especially fatty and sweet ones, stimulate the production of “happiness” hormones – endorphins and dopamine. Reliable antidepressants that don’t even require a prescription!
Comfort the “inner child”
Even if we all have approximately the same background and we are “zombified” by the same advertisement, food does not help everyone to calm down and improve their mood. Some of us are prone to emotional eating behavior more than others. “It is very important how the child was fed in infancy,” continues Nadia Andreeva. “His feelings and experiences in the very first months of life determine what eating behavior will be in the future.” How did the child feel when the mother stopped breastfeeding him? Was the mother anxious? Was the baby comforted with a bottle, even if he wasn’t crying because he was hungry at all? The answers to these questions will help you understand why, as adults, we seek solace in food. “Finding food is always an attempt to understand your relationship with your mother,” explains psychoanalyst and eating disorder specialist Jean-Benjamin Stora(1). “Unconsciously, we hope to find a mother, to return the feeling of comfort and security that we experienced in infancy at the mother’s breast.” Alas, in today’s world, full of conflicting prescriptions, food is not so much pacifying as spurring stress. For example, doctors recommend eating less salt and sugar, and advertising tempts you with salted nuts and offers ice cream or whipped cream. Such a mismatch instantly resuscitates children’s anxieties.
“The child needs clear instructions, otherwise he gets lost,” reminds Nadya Andreeva. “And if an adult again has to experience the painful need for choice, which caused him anxiety in childhood, he begins to feel anxiety and, as in childhood, seeks solace in food.”
Resist stress
Long periods of stress with its faithful companions – intrusive gloomy thoughts – affect the functioning of our brain. “The most primitive part of it, the hypothalamus, begins to make decisions,” explains Jean-Benjamin Stora, “and its task is to ensure the survival of the organism.” This is where we encounter our most archaic reflexes…
“The brain doesn’t distinguish between what exactly causes stress – a lack of food, endless traffic jams, or an approaching deadline for the completion of a project. In any case, he seeks to create the maximum reserves of resources in the body in order to survive a possible hunger, – adds Nadya Andreeva. “That is why strict restrictive diets, in which many types of foods are prohibited, have the opposite effect of what is desired. They cause stress, which contributes to weight gain, which, in turn, provokes even more stress. And so on in a circle.
Stress can also be linked to low self-esteem. “When I see my thick cheeks, elephant legs and shapeless figure in the mirror, I feel disgusted,” admits 42-year-old Veronica. “I feel ugly, worthless, good for nothing. But instead of seriously monitoring my diet and exercising, I pounce on the most unhealthy, fatty and heavy foods that will catch my eye. ” And this is said by a woman who has only a few extra pounds … The psychologist confirms that those who, due to childhood experience and circumstances, have low self-esteem tend to punish themselves with food, believing that they do not deserve a better appearance or well-being.
Keep life under control
And yet, many of us strive to be mindful of what we eat, and there are more and more such people. “It may seem that everyone thinks only about sex, but in fact, all our thoughts are about food!” smiles Nadya Andreeva. The problem is that this obsession with proper nutrition is no less harmful than an unhealthy desire to give up on yourself. “The most serious about their diet are those who are prone to obsessive states, anxious people, often brought up in strictness and prohibitions,” says Jean-Benjamin Stora. It would seem that what could be more natural than a joint meal, when we sit down at the table with family members or in the company of friends and enjoy the exquisite serving, the taste of dishes, and pleasant communication? However, anxiety caused by guilt prevents us from rejoicing: after all, we know that we should eat at least five vegetables and fruits a day, use seasonal products from environmentally friendly areas, drink more water, eat less and only quality food …
And this is against the backdrop of a general distrust of milk and meat producers, not to mention vegetables in the supermarket. Anxiety about nutrition often stems from the inability to control other aspects of life, explains Nadya Andreeva. “Worries about food distract from other, more serious anxieties and fears, up to family secrets.”
So we really can’t keep track of everything and keep everything under control. We have to come to terms with the fact that life does not obey us, and the point here is not at all the contents of our plate.
How to “satiate” not only food
Not rushing to the fridge because of the slightest mood swings? Psychologist Nadya Andreeva believes that this is quite within our power. However, it is important to understand that our three tips will not replace working with a professional. Only psychotherapy will help to understand the underlying cause of the anxiety that makes you overeat.
- Expand your geography of pleasure. Observe yourself: at what moments do you feel like eating? Make a list of pleasant things to do to distract yourself in such situations. “A short walk,” “a warm bath,” “call a friend,” “going to the movies,” “simple gymnastics,” or “an optimistic playlist on my smartphone”… Attentive attention to ourselves, our feelings and our mood will allow us to be saturated not only with with the help of food, the psychologist explains: “Try to get enough of words – write or read; images – draw, photograph, make collages … Nobody thinks about food when they are really passionate about some interesting thing.
- Try relaxation techniques and meditation. This is a good way to stop replaying depressing thoughts and gloomy forebodings in your head for hours, and therefore reduce your appetite. Calming down, we can again think clearly and are able to figure out for ourselves whether we are really hungry or if we want to achieve emotional comfort with the help of food: “I don’t want to eat, I’m just very upset …”
- Use hypnosis to ease addiction to food. This effective therapy method allows you to stop endless ruminations and master more productive thought patterns. In addition, it reduces anxiety, helps to understand the reason for constant snacking, reduces food cravings and allows you to abandon habitual behavior. Chewing on the same thoughts is similar to endless chewing of any food. “But this dubious pleasure can be completely abandoned,” the psychologist smiles. “After all, we are not ruminants!”
1. JB Stora “Le Stress” (University Press of France, 2010).