So it is so, but if something does not work out …
Postman Pechkin
The road tells him: “Think again!”, the trees whisper: “Look into yourself, sort out your motives!”, The wind asks him: “Have you foreseen everything?” Its sky is always an alarming color, and the air smells of the promise of disaster.
At least trouble. Or failure.
That was the life his mother lived. She was always worried: leaving the house, she checked several times to see if the gas was on fire, if the iron was turned on, if the light was off, if she had closed the door … — and still often returned to check everything again. During pregnancy, my mother worried a lot, read medical literature, consulted a lot with her mother, bought everything in advance and still felt unprepared. The child was born. She thoroughly washed her hands before touching the little one, boiled all the diapers many times and kept the rooms sterile clean. The windows were closed (“it will catch a cold”), all cutting and stabbing objects were hidden (“God forbid …”), and instead of setting up a home stadium, they were upset with shouts: “Don’t run — you will fall!” The child grew up in a zone of caring but anxious attention.
As a child, timid and timid, motor awkward, the boy showed early «intellectual interests» and a penchant for reasoning. For a long time he loved to walk, holding the hand of his parents, and his attachment to relatives and friends remained with him for the rest of his life.
Sometimes it seems that he was infected with anxiety from his mother, but he could also grow up in a family where they tried to make a hero out of him from childhood. Unsuccessfully.
Growing up, he always avoided adventures and never got into the police. He and offenses are two incompatible things. Peers respected him for his honesty, made friends with him because of his gentleness, and laughed at his indecisiveness. He could have been beaten, but he did not fight: not because of cowardice, but because «fighting is not good.»
Although, to be honest, he really didn’t know how to fight — his hands were always awkward and weak.
Growing up, he only multiplied the sense of responsibility and expanded the field for his anxieties. «But what if? Will someone get sick? Yes, and die! Will the car hit? Oh, my mother is something delayed … ”However, the worst thing for him is not even what really happened, but what could or could happen. If with him, he will still survive, but if with loved ones …
Ah! ..
If he is not religious, then he is necessarily superstitious, and is protected from the misfortunes of the world in the most accurate way by a rich set of signs and rituals. If you walk next to him, you will notice how he avoids stepping not only on manhole covers, but even on cracks in the pavement, steps onto the stairs only with his right (for example) foot and will definitely find a tree to knock on if he carelessly expressed hope for success.
Yes, he is indecisive. He thinks for a long time before deciding on something, weighs all the pros and cons dozens of times, says a lot of the right words, but — he pulls with the decision, tormenting himself first of all with this … If you still agree with him, you can exhale and relax: everything will be in order, he will fulfill his obligations. He is scrupulously honest. He has an exaggerated sense of duty, he will always give back the borrowed money on time and to the penny, but if he somehow let you down, he will eat himself before you tell him that you don’t need it.
Having married, he turns out to be a wonderful family man — he does not run around women, he drinks little, smokes moderately, he will bring everything from the store according to the list. He is constant both in habits and affections, therefore, once he has found a normal job, he no longer changes it. At work, he is appreciated, and the only thing that annoys people with is his exceptional conscientiousness, because of which he does any nonsense for an awfully long time.
He is prudent and careful. He will do everything so that there is no failure, but he will never catch the Blue Bird of Happiness by the wing in a jump.
What to do?
- Your forehead is tense: relax all horizontal folds (along with this, anxiety will go away). See if there is tension around the lips (reset — stop being petty). Engage in rebirthing and relieve internal stress: stress will go away — illnesses will go away.
- Listen to your inner voice. If you are afraid of something, but even more — you want, then do it.
- It is better to do and repent than not to do and repent — right!
- Develop courage and risk-taking. Allow yourself to play cards, even for money, and take risks. Practice reckless actions and don’t regret the consequences.
- Of course, all this is only in terms of training, allocating time for this (for example, holidays) and the amount of money (strictly limited).
- Learn to deal constructively with problems: “It happened. What will we do?». Forbid experiences-chewing on the topic «Oh, how could I ?!» and “Oh, what will happen now ?!”
- Mentally play all the worst and accept it.
- Break all the signs and make sure that nothing terrible has happened.
Recommendations to the Anti-Alarm-Responsible:
- You have the right to risk yourself, but do not let others down.
- Count how many decisions you make during the day.
- Practice pausing for 10 seconds before making any decision, no matter how small.
- Learn or train yourself to do everything slowly and carefully.
- See also tasks for the Excited Optimist.