Contents
- The best thing you can do is listen
- Your support means everything to us
- Don’t tell us “just calm down”
- Don’t be offended by our behavior on hard days
- Remember that anxiety is different
- Anxiety is not always bad
- We are very grateful to you for your patience.
- To better understand us, read about anxiety disorders
- You can’t “fix” the problem, and that’s okay
- Take our worries seriously
- Remind us to take care of ourselves
- Explain that there is no shame in seeking professional help
- Be there for hard days
For those unfamiliar with anxiety attacks, it’s hard to imagine how paralyzing and overwhelming they can be. What if your partner suffers from an anxiety disorder? Here’s what you need to know to be able to help him.
Who better than the people who suffer from anxiety disorders to tell what they experience during attacks and what help and support from loved ones they need? Here’s what they would like to tell loved ones about their constant struggle with anxiety.
The best thing you can do is listen
“No one is asking you for any answers. You can’t “cure” us, even if you really want to. Just listen. Let them know that you are there and ready to help. Don’t be too intrusive if you see that we are uncomfortable, but do not miss the moment when we need someone to hug us.” – Allison L.
Your support means everything to us
“I have been dating a young man for over a year. I know that it’s not always easy to love me. I often get on his nerves and he can’t understand why I’m behaving this way. But when I am immersed in endless doubts and anxious thoughts, it is important for me to know that he accepts our differences and continues to love me even in those moments when I myself find it difficult to love myself. ”- Melissa H.
Don’t tell us “just calm down”
“It doesn’t help, it just annoys. We are usually 1000% aware that our anxiety is irrational. Offering to calm down won’t magically turn her off.” – Kelly R.
Don’t be offended by our behavior on hard days
“Remember that our anxiety is not related to you, even if it seems to you that you have now provoked it. We just feel a tremendous overstrain. Part of the cause of anxiety is related to the work of our brain, and now nothing can be done about it. But there are also external factors that can be influenced. Help us to distract ourselves, it will help relieve anxiety. For instance. Suggest a walk.” – Ryan N.
Remember that anxiety is different
“My husband and I both suffer from severe depression and anxiety. However, our symptoms manifest differently, and what works for me may not necessarily help him. During difficult periods, I need physical contact, approval and support. And he needs to be left alone. If you can understand what a partner needs in a difficult moment, this will strengthen the relationship.” — Melissa M.
Anxiety is not always bad
“If an anxious person sees your love, sometimes anxiety makes their return love deeper and more passionate. Neurotic energy is still energy. Anxiety also prevents me from making rash decisions. An anxious partner is likely to be very attentive and caring.” – Hope J.
We are very grateful to you for your patience.
“Patience is one of the most important human virtues. You do not always understand our anxiety, but the main thing is that you still show love and care. When my boyfriend and I come to a party, he occasionally comes up and quietly asks if I feel okay. It’s an easy way to show you care.” – Christina R.
To better understand us, read about anxiety disorders
“Learn more about the disorder we suffer so that you understand our experiences and know that they are no less real to us than physical illness. Remember what triggers our anxiety attacks.” – Melissa J.
You can’t “fix” the problem, and that’s okay
“My husband didn’t immediately realize that there was no need to ‘do’ something with an anxiety attack, sometimes it takes me a couple of minutes to deal with it.” – Kayla D.
Take our worries seriously
“Before my anxiety disorder was diagnosed and treated, there were a couple of times during my panic attacks that I thought I was having a heart attack or a blood clot. Both times my fiancé took me to the hospital and generally took the situation very seriously. He had no doubt that something was wrong with me, even when the doctors said that it was not life threatening. And it meant a lot to me. Anxiety is sometimes paralyzing, and it is important that there is someone who will not disparagingly say: “Oh, this is nonsense.” – Erica K.
Remind us to take care of ourselves
“Encourage our classes with any healing practices – for me, for example, this is yoga, dancing and walking. You can join us or just help free up time for these activities – for example, by sitting with the children, ”- Sandra B.
Explain that there is no shame in seeking professional help
“Invite your partner to see a therapist. Treating an anxiety disorder can sometimes save a life or make it better. It will have a positive effect on your relationship as well.” – Hope J.
Be there for hard days
“I am dating a very understanding young man who knows that sometimes I need to hide in a closet and sit there for a while. He even bought a special blanket that he brings to me on such occasions. If I’m so anxious that I can’t bring myself to get out of this safe hiding place, he sits there with me.” – Pixie M.