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She is 10-14 years old, she has a low opinion of her figure, sluggishly picks her plate at the table and counts calories according to the schemes found on “weight loss” sites. After all, summer is coming, and you need to be stunning in a swimsuit and mini. What is it – the beginning of the disease or the usual teenage experiments?
“My daughter is 14 and has always been thin,” says Larisa, 42. – I got really worried when she said that she was not on a diet, she just never wanted to eat at all. I tried to convince her that it’s dangerous to torment yourself like that, because you can reach anorexia, but she brushes it aside and calls my fears nonsense. The pediatrician says that she is thin, but, in his opinion, this is not a disaster. And I worry and watch her, afraid to miss signs of a serious disorder … “
Larisa, like other parents of teenagers, is at risk of becoming a victim of a new media psychosis, an obsessive fear of the threat of anorexia in their children. This fear is fueled by magazine photos of disembodied fashion models, shocking photo shoots on sites about anorexia, disturbing articles and confession books on the topic …
There is reason to be wary, but is it worth it to immediately panic? Let’s try to assess the situation soberly: not all teenagers are threatened with illness. It manifests itself in only 1–2,5% of them.
Anorexia is not a consequence of the fashion for thinness and not an easily passing teenage problem. This is a mental illness that doctors have been dealing with for centuries.
At the beginning of the XNUMXth century, anorexia was recognized as a mental illness, although back in the XNUMXth century Avicenna described a case of curing a patient whose condition today would be classified as anorexic.
“Orexis in Greek means appetite, desire,” explains psychotherapist Nadezhda Zuykova. – The name of the disorder – literally “lack of desire” – does not accurately reflect its essence. After all, anorexics are waging a desperate struggle with the desire to eat in order to look according to their own, often distorted ideas about harmony and beauty.
This disease became widespread after the discovery of ways to preserve food and … the invention of the refrigerator! From the point of view of psychoanalysts, in our unconscious, he has become the symbolic equivalent of the mother, once the main supplier of food for us.
The anorexic says “no” to the opportunity to satisfy his hunger. According to the French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan, he eats “nothing” – the only “object” that in his eyes looks pure and noble enough. At this moment, he feels his absolute autonomy and omnipotence.
“Nothing” is the only “object” that in the eyes of an anorexic looks quite pure and noble
Adults can also suffer from anorexia, but it mostly manifests itself in girls 10-14 years old. Boys get sick less often by about four times.
“The search for their own identity causes a deep contradiction in adolescents: they feel the need to be at least somewhat the master of their lives, the desire to demonstrate the results of this “power” and at the same time they are afraid to grow up, they are afraid of responsibility for their lives, their choice,” explains Nadezhda Zuykova.
In addition, in adolescence, the body and appearance change dramatically. It may seem to a girl that it is impossible to love her “such” – and even more so it is unthinkable to love yourself. She often experiences a vague self-loathing, a feeling she tries to combat by hiding in an imaginary world and thus denying her real body.
Worried, a teenage girl can immerse herself in studies or sports – and there is nothing to worry about here, unless this feeling of self-acceptance, disgust does not cover her entire emotional life.
Who is to blame?
It is difficult to say exactly what triggers the disease mechanism. Anorexia sometimes starts with a diet, but more often, as child psychologist Alena Romanova says, “it manifests itself after any painful events: the death of a loved one, the divorce of parents, a change of residence, school conflicts … As a rule, girls with anorexia are very impressionable, suspicious nature, and in adolescence, these features are aggravated.
“In general, this disease can be considered the result of many reasons against the background of difficult parent-child relationships,” says Nadezhda Zuykova. “In addition, anorexia can be not only acquired, there is also a genetic predisposition to it.”
So no one can say for sure why the disease strikes some and bypasses other teenagers.
Our relationship to food is shaped at an early age by the mother-child relationship, and some psychoanalysts have been quick to link the maternal role to the source of illness.
Some psychoanalysts have been quick to link the maternal role to the source of the illness.
“In the unconscious of the girl, the following mechanism begins to work,” explains psychiatrist and psychotherapist Xavier Pommero: “I lack a sense of security, I want to remain“ my mother’s daughter ”. And in order to keep my mother with me, I need to get rid of this nasty body.
However, for other girls, the desire to stop eating, on the contrary, will be associated with an inadequate, painful attempt to escape from maternal influence.
Experts agree that there are as many types of anorexia as those suffering from it, each case is individual. The cult of thinness and magazine models are no more guilty of this behavioral deviation than parents.
Another “accused” are Internet sites that form the idea of anorexia as a “correct”, “fashionable” life choice and give teenagers practical advice on how to hide their illness and continue to lose weight. But the role of such sites seems to be overestimated.
“Some blogs do praise anorexia, but they cannot have a big impact on healthy teenagers,” says psychologist Alena Romanova. “Particularly sobering impressions are made by those where there are real photographs of extremely emaciated girls.”
real sickness
Anorexia and thinness cannot be considered synonymous. “Thinness can be a sign of physique or a symptom of some somatic disease,” explains nutritionist Valentina Zimina, head of the clinical nutrition department of the Central Clinical Hospital. “Anorexia is primarily a mental illness.”
The disease strikes its victims with an internal bifurcation: on the one hand, their intelligence is above average, and on the other, they develop an anorexic mentality. “I had a voice inside me, as if giving orders,” admits 12-year-old Anya, “he demanded that I stop overeating if I don’t want to look like a fat jellyfish. And I had to eat as little as possible – I just couldn’t help it.”
You cannot decide to become anorexic, you can only feel the presence of the disease as a reality that you cannot resist. Anorexia seems to draw into a kind of mental funnel, where the perception of her own body is distorted – the girl ceases to see, realize the consequences of her behavior and lives only in denial of her illness.
Anorexia seems to draw you into a kind of mental funnel, where the perception of your own body is distorted
But how do you know if a teenager is in danger? And how should parents behave? Do not create an atmosphere of constant anxiety around the child. Do not follow too closely, asking “leading” questions and unceremoniously controlling his life.
Thinness by itself does not mean anything: sudden weight loss can be associated with a growth spurt, but it is important to determine if your child has an appetite.
With the help of experts, we have compiled a list of signs that should cause concern. Those parents who discover one or more of them, first of all, should not lose their temper.
To begin with, they, without a child, need to get advice from a specialist and discuss with him the necessary steps. And this is very important, emphasizes Nadezhda Zuykova: “If you think you can handle it yourself, you will fail.”
Alarms
How to distinguish a teenage girl who is fond of trendy diets from anorexia? Experts name several deviations in behavior that parents need to know about.
1. Diet without goals
In a teenage girl, under the influence of hormones, the body changes. She goes on a diet to lose weight. In this case, she usually sets a clear goal for herself: lose three kilograms in a month or fit into tight jeans.
If she stops eating without any clear purpose, this may be the first sign of anorexic behavior.
A teenager on a diet usually suffers from restrictions, talks about it and complains. An anorexic girl never complains. On the contrary, fasting makes her euphoric.
2. Sorting products
For an anorexic, sitting at the table is a real test. The girl counts calories, refuses fat and sugar, chews every bite for an infinitely long time.
Products should not mix and touch each other, so as not to defile her “pure” idea of uXNUMXbuXNUMXbthe ideal of her own body. Unlike the mere dieter, the anorexic girl does not avoid food.
“Some of them keep food in their room, as this enhances their sense of self-control and control over the situation,” says Nadezhda Zuykova.
3. Hyperactivity
A teenager for the duration of the diet usually refuses tedious sports activities. Anorexic goes in for sports, bringing himself almost to exhaustion.
Another indisputable sign: teenagers are often inert, they can feel tired just from the mere thought of the need to “move” – the anorexic is always on the move, such a girl “on the go” is even able to do her homework.
4. Disguise
As soon as the disease begins, the anorexic girl begins to choose loose clothes to hide her body.
She comes up with all sorts of excuses for not sitting at the table – she is sick, she overslept dinner time, she already dined with a friend, she will eat later.
The girl does this not for pleasure, not by calculation, but rather in order not to injure her loved ones. She realizes that she can hurt them – although she does not really understand why – and tries to save them.
However, it is very difficult to maintain a balance between what is happening in her inner world and in the real world. These efforts exhaust her internally.
5. Bulimia
At some point, nine out of ten sick girls change from anorexia to bulimia. In this case, the disease is much more difficult to recognize, as the girl begins to eat and usually gains weight again. However, the problem itself does not change.
“Bulimia is anorexia in reverse,” explains Valentina Zimina. “Girls eat everything non-stop, and then, tormented by feelings of guilt, they try to induce vomiting.”
Bulimia is given out by a blush, yellowed, watery eyes. Sometimes a girl can use “cleansing” drugs – laxatives, diuretics. But by no means appetite suppressants – she needs to control her desire to eat herself.
And finally, wanting to cleanse herself, she drinks an incredible amount of water – up to 5-6 liters a day.
“Parents can support their children”
It makes no sense to look for those responsible for the occurrence of anorexia: this disease has only victims. Psychotherapist Nadezhda Zuykova emphasizes that parents can become invaluable allies of doctors and play an important role in the recovery of their child.
Why parental persuasion, threats and pleas do not work?
Because the relationship between parents and children during puberty is too complex. Anorexic mentality pushes a teenager to manipulations that can destroy family ties. Those who hope to defeat the child’s illness with the help of promises and agreements are mistaken: in this way they only delay the moment of providing medical assistance.
What happens to the body of a patient with anorexia?
Metabolism is disturbed in it, puberty slows down until amenorrhea (absence of menstruation), that is, systemic endocrine disorders occur. With a significant weight loss, a decrease in pressure, temperature, and changes in heart rhythm occur. Edema appears, problems with the skin, nails, teeth are inevitable …
What should parents do if they find signs of illness in a child?
To begin with, consult with a psychotherapist who will determine in which direction to move. Only a comprehensive treatment program can be successful with the cooperation of nutritionists, psychologists and psychiatrists, who will guide both parents and adolescents, individually select therapy that is adequate to their case, and choose a treatment strategy. Parents need to be patient, strong and support their children during several months of treatment.
About expert
Nadezhda Zuykova – Head of the Department of Psychosomatic Pathology of the Peoples’ Friendship University of Russia.