“And then I realized: my mother is standing in front of me!”

MAMA

Vika Luchaninova, artist

I was 5 when my dad turned to me with a request to call my aunt Lyuda, who began to appear more and more often in the life of our family, mom. The request sounded like this: “Come on, from now on, will you call Aunt Luda mom?” Dad was everything to me, and the answer was immediate: “Come on!”

As it turned out later, adults, despite the question asked, had already decided everything without me. And they were sure that I did not understand anything and that I would believe the script they had written for the rest of my life. But I understood everything and never for a second forgot that Lyuda was not my mother, but a real evil stepmother who came with only one purpose – to take my dad away from me.

Our relationship, to put it mildly, did not work out. And over time, in order to keep the promise I made to my dad, I learned to avoid referring to her directly, since I didn’t turn my tongue to call her “mother”. They merried. And 10 years of our life together were not sugar: conflicts, quarrels, the birth of a younger sister, the appearance of which only exacerbated the severity of an already difficult life.

When I was 16, in the midst of one of the conflicts, I left home and began to live separately. I saw my parents a couple of times a month, and I tried to spend time with my sister, to whom I managed to become attached and fall in love, as soon as the opportunity arose.

In one of these meetings, I dragged her to shop with me in a second-hand store. Trying on the things I liked, I was terribly in a hurry and nervous, because there were 10 minutes left before the store closed.

Hearing another vicious: “Girl, we are closing!” – I jumped out of the fitting room, returned the things to the seller and, taking my sister by the hand, headed for the exit, when suddenly I heard behind me in the same ominous tone: “Do not let them go out, they are thieves!” Stunned by what I heard, I looked around and realized that, except for me, my sister, the saleswoman and my aunt, who had come running from the neighboring department to detain the “especially dangerous”, there was no one in the store.

They really blamed us. The assistant slammed the doors and blocked our way with her body, although we didn’t run anywhere, but stood in our tracks, trying to understand what was happening. It turned out that the saleswoman missed one T-shirt, which I forgot to take off in a hurry.

I didn’t panic, but on the contrary, I exhaled, it became funny to me from the absurdity of the situation. And it seemed that I would now explain everything to them as it is, return the T-shirt, we would laugh together and disperse. But it was not there. Saleswomen did not want to miss the opportunity to diversify the sluggish course of their everyday life by revealing the “crime of the century”.

And while I was trying to appeal to their minds, one of them yelled louder and louder, blaming us for all the shoplifting in the area ever committed, the second was already calling the cops, continuing to block the passage with her chest.

My sister clapped her big currant eyes and, out of fear, dug into my hand more and more tightly, I asked these women to let go of at least the child, because she was not to blame for anything. It was useless. After 10 minutes, two policemen were already in place, well, it’s no joke – such villains will be tied up! The rest of the lawlessness of our criminal district is just merk against this background.

And now two adults, reasonable, serious people, already quite intimidated by the saleswomen (16 and 9 years old), began to press the four of them. They brought down everything on us: from expulsion from school, ending with the finale of our worthless life on prison bunk beds.

Finally, the verdict was passed: I am leaving with the police until the circumstances are clarified, my sister is taken away by the same aunt Luda, who has already been called and summoned to the crime scene. The fear of being behind bars did not disturb me, but the fear of her appearance and the fact that I dragged her daughter into this destroyed me from the inside. She will hate me even more, she will kill me, she will never let me see my sister again…

I saw her already through the bars, sitting in the UAZ. Taking my sister away from the police, she took her aside and resolutely headed towards the car. At that moment, one of the policemen had already climbed into the car, leaving the front door open, so I could hear everything that was happening.

Approaching the peasant, Luda said: “Now let my daughter out of the car, I won’t leave here without her.” In response to this, he only waved his hand at her and went to the car, not taking her words seriously.

What I saw in her eyes afterward will be understood only by those who, like me, have watched many programs about the world of wild animals and know firsthand what feats a female is capable of if her offspring are in danger. “Give me my daughter! Or I can’t vouch for myself, ”she said in such a tone that they could only swallow their saliva, exchange glances and let me out of the car.

Once free, I realized that my mother, my mother, was standing in front of me. The image of the evil stepmother collapsed along with the realization that all these years I myself had built barriers between us, playing the unfortunate Cinderella and the evil stepmother.

This scenario was only in my head and sat there so firmly that it became a reality. In fact, all her aggression was only pain from the fact that I refuse to accept her love. Embracing each other, we went home, silently promising to never doubt each other again.

Read more stories in the collection “And then I understood. 95 Honest Stories About Life as It Is” (Bombora, 2021)