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We work, we drink, we fall in love, we dream about the success of our children… Is it dangerous? Where is the line beyond which we cease to control ourselves? These and other issues related to obsessive behavior will be discussed by the participants of the International Psychological Practical Conference “Modern Challenges: The Psychology of Addiction”.
Overworking, overeating, chemical abuse, and even too much love are different types of addiction. We either ourselves are affected by it, or we personally know those who suffer from it. “About 80% of us face addictions,” says Marina Galitskikh, CEO of Event-Liga. — Therefore, we devoted the second conference from the series “Challenges of our time” to this topic.
Psychologists, educators and medical professionals will help us learn what science knows today about addictions, chemical and non-chemical, and how psychology deals with them.” The conference will include live broadcasts of experts from different countries, lectures, master classes, and seminars. Both professionals and amateurs of psychology can take part in it. We asked three speakers to talk about their upcoming speeches.
«There are four challenges: death, loneliness, freedom, meaninglessness»
Denis Kopytov, psychologist, gestalt therapist
When talking about addictions, most often they mean chemical addictions: from alcohol, drugs. These are the most striking examples, but at our master class, my colleague Elena Kaliteevskaya and I want to consider the problem more broadly. Addiction today has long gone beyond the limits of narcology, it is already a phenomenon of the entire social structure, a kind of pandemic.
Many of us can be socialized, successful, and still suffer from serious addiction. For example, emotional, when we are completely absorbed in relationships with another person. It looks like a great love, but in fact our social ties and professional life are fading, because all our resources are aimed at being close to the one we love so passionately, that is, the object of our addiction.
It relieves us of some pain, such as loneliness
Another example is the workaholic who works 12-14 hour days. From a social point of view, he is responsible, hardworking, provides for his family. But the question arises: such work for wear and tear — is it for him instead of what? Where does he not want to go? Home, family? To yourself?
Addiction can be a way to cope with an overexciting reality: a modernity that exceeds our ability to adapt to it, and the existential challenges that confront each of us. There are four of them: death, loneliness, freedom of choice and meaninglessness. We can either take personal responsibility and make an effort, begin to develop to meet the challenge, or become dependent …
Each of us has this experience: in early childhood, we were completely dependent on our parents. The task is to go further, to separate from the object of dependence, to meet this world, to build a relationship with it. It is impossible not to depend on anything, but we can choose what to depend on. These are debatable ideas, and we expect to seriously discuss them.
«Modern parents are too concerned about the success of the child»
Lyudmila Petranovskaya, psychologist, publicist, writer
I will talk about such a common phenomenon, when parents are too worried about the success of the child. So much so that there is a violation of boundaries: it is no longer clear whose success these are. Who needs them?
There are different mechanisms at work here. In some cases, this is a symbiosis, a merging of a parent with a child: his successes are my successes, his mistakes are my mistakes, and if he is unsuccessful in something, then I will sink through the earth from shame.
In other cases, the anxiety of the parent is hidden behind such experiences. Behind every childhood failure or mistake, he sees a dangerous prediction for the future for the child: he will not go anywhere, he will not achieve anything in life, or everyone will offend him, no one will want to be friends with him and other horror stories.
In fact, the parent is not sure, first of all, of himself, is not ready to accept his own imperfection.
According to him, this world is hostile, he rejects the one who cannot be perfect, ideal. Of course, these are neurotic reactions, but the child usually accepts the parent’s picture of the world.
He, too, begins to invest too much in achievements and inadequately worries about the result. It’s so common that most parents don’t even see it as a problem.
Therefore, it is very important that parents begin to understand what the price of the race for success is and how important it is to give the child the right to make mistakes and fail.
«Find a way out of the maze»
Svetlana Soroka, psychologist, coach, family and individual consultant
I will conduct a workshop on the co-dependent relationships that inevitably arise in a family where someone is dependent on alcohol or drugs. In this case, his parents, husband or wife often choose the role of a rescuer, ready to sacrifice himself for the sake of a suffering loved one, and begin to live his life.
Fearing for him, they try to control every step: where he went, with whom … But they do not seek professional help, they are ashamed to admit that there is an alcoholic or drug addict in the family, because these are socially condemned diseases.
They are driven by love, but it is destructive, it leads both sides to a dead end.
Not only alcohol or drugs destroy the addict, but also codependent relationships with other family members
I called my workshop “Labyrinths of codependency”. My task is to show the influence of the family on addiction and addictions on the family.
Through the exercises, participants will be able to see what they do not realize: the love of a codependent is destructive, it only exacerbates the difficulties of the patient. This awareness is the first step towards positive transformation.
Experience shows that when the family is ready for changes, then the addict begins to change after some time.