I.O.: How does it all begin? There is an order. An order for a manager or director to say «I don’t feel like I’m running meetings very effectively!». I immediately asked him to indicate the target. «Let’s imagine an ideal image, how would you like to conduct meetings?» May I attend the meeting you are hosting? Before that, I had never offered him anything. He gave me that opportunity. I attended the meeting, we turned on the recorder, and everything was recorded perfectly. Indeed, certain moments came to light, he conducted the meeting completely unemotionally. There were pluses and there were minuses. He listened to what others were saying, excellently gave quick feedback, very well argued the provisions that he proposed. He handled all assignments well. At first, he described the situation well, why they came to the meeting, and what we should decide during this meeting, it was very good. But there were practically no emotions. Therefore, some of the deputies interrupted him with good emotions, there was humor, there was also activity, there was also a whole range of emotions. And it seemed that somewhere they are a little bit in the lead. Perhaps he felt that he was somehow lost in their background, he could not listen to them emotionally at the same level. Then we worked out how to make it so that he would conduct a meeting more with humor, more with emotions. An action plan was developed. We met with him a few more times, preparing for meetings, working out. As a rule, if you begin to enjoy the trust of a person, he will continue to turn to you. It may be the upbringing of his children, it may be what awaits him in the future, How to build his career, what to do. He was interested in some aspects of the negotiations, there was even an order for a special training for his entire team. Those. It seems that we started our work with coaching, and then we started training for staff, and even individual psychotherapeutic work. I had to work with his emotions, express psychotherapy techniques are used, past experience is used. They showed the possibilities of what could be in the future. Removed the exclusivity of the situation — it happens to everyone. To perceive these people that they are biorobots, that they are clearly programmed to solve some problems and do not experience any emotions, is wrong.
Returning to the meeting, I say, “You could speak brightly emotionally a few more times, you have enough intelligence and enough emotional resource. What’s the matter?» And it turned out that he was a little shy of people, worried about how his environment would appreciate him. I gave him feedback that just when he once again does not share his emotions, some formalism appears, and people do not feel another person.
So we worked in skill mode, showed this, this, this. Other people come, and already the conversation is about creating a new project, a new business, it’s a little different, when together with him, as an adviser, we build relationships in a dialogue mode. He may fantasize with ideas, I act as a critic, he acts as a critic, I fantasize with ideas. I don’t know much about his business though. Not every entrepreneur can talk to someone about his project, fear that they will hit your self-esteem, and whether your ideas will be taken, etc. They are not ready to share even with close people. As a rule, many entrepreneurs say — I am a stranger in my family, my wife does not perceive me. Here, of course, the work is different, we look at its potential, we figure out which ladder we should go through, what tasks, stages to go through, and what is also important is a purely emotional problem — business is always a risk. So, we sit with a person and teach him where to reduce risks, how to do it.
When we coach, we have not only the art of questions, but the art of instructing, giving specific tasks, specific answers. Here is the whole algorithm. See his goals, see his potential. How do you teach him, how do you train him, what is the sequence, necessarily feedback. If you are still not emotional during the meeting, then why? You need to share your emotions, and your strength is only in how to clearly select arguments. Coaching would advise how to further develop this capability. Why not add more emotions? While he’s not emotional enough on his own, why not teach him some artistry?
Development of coaching
I think coaching is going to be very different soon. There will be psychological coaching, there will be skills coaching. I am sure that specialization will also take place there, as in any new phenomenon. But when a client comes, he can apply with this, and with this, and with this request. And you need to be ready for this, otherwise you can lose the client. Further, we have reduced the risks, from the outside it is clear that a person has good potential, a good business project, he has experience, we are just working here in the mode of psychological counseling, pumping him up with confidence and self-esteem, we are working to ensure that to set your head on a reasonable, rational overcoming of obstacles. And we are working with this.