“Ancestral Syndrome”: when the past of the family harms your present

The history of any person who comes to psychotherapy is the history of a whole family. Each of us is part of a large family system, all members of which, even those with whom we have not communicated for a long time or who are no longer alive, influence each other. There is no time inside our intrapsychic field: the entire history of the family and clan is transmitted and reproduced through generations.

The well-known psychologist Ann A. Schutzenberger first spoke about this. In The Ancestor Syndrome, she talks about the results of twenty years of scientific research in the field of psychogenealogy, non-verbal communication and family ties. Ann Schutzenberger made a genosociogram with clients – a family tree. It showed how intergenerational bonds, family histories and long-standing tragedies affect all family members. Intergenerational bonds are loaded with a huge amount of information: the memory of traumatic events, conflicts and losses. All this is stored in a common unconscious field, which can be called generic memory. How can this manifest itself in life?

anniversary syndrome

It happens that the unconscious “reminds” of important events in the life cycle by repeating the date or age. These can be repetitions of accidents, marriages, divorces, the birth of children, diseases at the same age in two, three, five generations.

Some of us feel anxious, depressed, lonely every year on the same day, but cannot understand why, writes Ann Schurzenberger. Nor do they know that this day marks the anniversary of a tragic event in the distant past. Such coincidences occur when ties between generations are highly emotionally charged, there are many unspoken words and unshed tears. All cargo is passed on to the next generations.

“Failures” in family history

There may be time periods in the history of the family that no one knows about or is not customary to talk about. This “family vault” can be stored for decades, writes Ann Schutzenberger.

Perhaps among your ancestors were repressed or missing. It was unbearable to remember it, and it was impossible to talk about it at all. Such secrets leave with the older generation, but continue to influence the fate of children. For example, in families where grandparents survived the blockade, they treat food with special trepidation and never throw away the surplus. This is passed on not only to children, but also to grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

«Игои»

Many families have relatives about whom nothing is known or who have been deliberately deleted from the family history. As a rule, these are people who lead a marginal lifestyle, who have violated the moral laws of society, those for whom they are ashamed or in whose lives tragic events have occurred – sudden death, serious illness.

If such a person is “expelled”, sooner or later a child will be born in the family with similar character traits, and sometimes the fate of an “outcast,” writes Ann Schutzenberger in her book. Everything unspoken and secret is unconsciously manifested through the life of descendants.

Name as identity

Do you know who you owe your name to? Maybe you were named after one of your parents, grandparents, or after the hero of the novel? Or maybe in your family it is customary to name children like that? What meaning did the parents put into this name?

This can serve as a clue to your behavior and events that occur in life. For example, you were named after your grandfather, whom everyone was proud of, and your relatives involuntarily associate you with him. You are expected to have the same success in mathematics or outstanding organizational skills. And all your life you are trying to achieve something that is not interesting and not close.

Feeling of orphanhood, lack of roots, connection with ancestors

It happens that we feel isolated, isolated, do not understand what place we occupy in the clan, family and in general in life. Perhaps one of yours was an orphan, lived with a family of relatives “out of mercy”, felt like a burden. This perception of self could be passed down through the generations and become fixed as a family trait.

These symptoms deprive of vital energy. The psyche is trying to cope with feelings accumulated many generations before us. The inherited load of sorrows, anxieties, grief, feelings of loneliness pulls back. We may not notice it, but it has a huge impact on us: simple things are difficult for us, we feel like failures, we lose the meaning of life. There is no place for our own desires, they are replaced by the aspirations, prescriptions and attitudes of previous generations of our kind. As a result, we do not live our lives.

How to get rid of ancestral syndrome

Getting your life back is entirely possible, but it takes work. You’ll have to:

• Delve into family history, talk with relatives about the life of ancestors, understand if there are topics or people that are not customary to talk about, make inquiries to the archives.
• Be prepared for the fact that completely unexpected facts from the life of the family will come up, which are not always unambiguous and pleasant.
• Together with a psychotherapist who works in a psychogenealogical approach, draw up a genosociogram of your family.
• With his support, recycle the burden of family secrets and heavy feelings associated with them.

These steps will help voice what was hushed up, live what was not lived, establish emotional bonds between generations, improve relationships with relatives and meet yourself.