What will be tomorrow? What other losses will we have to endure? How to organize your life in the new reality? Is it worth holding on to the past or starting to build «your own new world»? Today, many of us are asking similar questions. The well-known psychologist, one of the founders of existential psychotherapy, Alfried Lenglet, offered his recommendations to our readers on this matter.
1. Today, many of us feel insecure about the future. And this uncertainty is associated with quite realistic fears: we are losing our former way of life, loved ones, work; We experience experiences that indicate danger and threat. We can close our eyes to what is happening, convince ourselves that there is no danger. But this will be a delusion.
A realistic perception of reality is the first step towards confidence in the future.
2. External circumstances sometimes limit our freedom of action too much, leaving us with very little room to play. What to rely on and how to find inspiration to move on?
We can find support in both external and internal values. If we look within ourselves, we will find that we can rely on our body. When we go in for sports, maintain an active lifestyle, our body is quite hardy, reliable, and we can find support in it. This will allow you to move towards your goals more confidently and persistently.
3. Our feelings can also become a support in difficult times. Start trusting yourself more, ask yourself: “What is really good for my life, and what should I give up?”. Having received an intelligible answer, build your scale of values
4. In addition to feelings and the body, we can rely on ourselves as a person.considering their own values. To understand that even in the most difficult circumstances we will maintain relationships with ourselves, we will take care and worry about ourselves. The confidence that we will always remain true to ourselves, that we will stand up for ourselves, is perhaps the strongest internal support that we can create.
5. Some people are good at interacting with themselves, while others find this process difficult.
And then I would advise you to turn to psychotherapeutic conversations. They will help to identify moments that are associated with a sense of instability, make them more tangible and find motivation to work through what is disturbing.
6. External circumstances may lead to the fact that some of our goals can no longer be achieved. And then it is no longer worth fighting for them, but simply accepting that today life around the world has changed.
However, I propose to continue to fight for honesty, openness, good relations with loved ones. There are many important things we can stand for. Our values are undergoing major changes, but many of them will remain. Just like the “eternal” problems: in relationships with partners, children, colleagues. And we can continue to work on them. Spiritual resources, the meaning of life, that is, the values that already exist in our lives, will help us in this.
7. What to do if we lost hope, gave up? In this case, we can ask ourselves important questions: why are we no longer looking forward to the best that has taken hope away and disappointed us so much?
Talk to loved ones, a psychotherapist about your suffering, the reasons for disappointment and lack of faith in the future. Such conversations are like injections of hope. As a psychotherapist, I know that we cannot inject hope in the form of an injection, but we can make a person who is disappointed in life feel that we are close to him, interested in him. It is important for each of us to hope that better times will come and there will be peace again.
Read more about this in Alfried Langle’s interview «I Will Not Leave Myself in Trouble» in the latest issue of Psychologies magazine.