Body conditioning exercises
Grandmother often beats us — with her hands, a broom or a wet rag. She pulls our ears and hair.
Other people often hit and kick us too, we don’t understand why.
We hurt, we even cry.
Falls, cuts, bruises, scratches, work, cold, heat also cause us suffering.
We decide to harden the body to endure pain without tears.
First we hit and pinch each other. Grandmother sees our swollen faces and asks:
— Who is it you so?
“We ourselves, grandma.
— What, you got into a fight? Why would?
“Just like that, grandma. For no reason. Don’t worry — it’s just exercise.
— Exercises? Yes, you’re just crazy! Well, anyway, if you think it’s funny… do whatever you want.
…We are naked. We whip each other with a belt. With each strike we repeat:
— It doesn’t hurt!
And we whip harder and harder and harder.
We hold our hands over the fire, we cut our thighs, arms and chest with a knife and pour vodka on the wounds. And we keep repeating:
— It doesn’t hurt!
Soon we really stop feeling pain. Someone else is beaten, cut and burned, someone else is hurt. We don’t cry anymore. When grandma gets angry and yells at us, we say:
Don’t cry, grandma. Better beat us.
And when she beats us, we say:
“More, grandma!” Look, we turn the other cheek to you, as it is written in the Bible. Well, hit us on the other cheek too, grandma!
She answers:
— Yes, the devil took you with your Bible, and with your cheeks, you sons of bitches! ..
Feeling exercises
Grandma calls us «sons of bitches.»
People tell us: “Witch children! Whore children!
Other people tell us, “Idiots! Hooligans! Dirty boys! Assholes! Dirty puppies! Pigs! Pigs! Witch spawn! Insolent people! Bastards! Hangmen!
When we hear such words, our faces turn red, our ears ring, our eyes sting, and our knees tremble.
But we don’t want to blush or tremble anymore. We want to get used to swearing and insults, to various evil words.
We sit at the kitchen table opposite each other and, looking into each other’s eyes, say more and more evil and bad words. One of us says:
— Shit! Asshole! Another says:
— Pedic! Gomik!
We talk like this until the words no longer reach our consciousness. Even to our ears.
We exercise like this for half an hour a day, then we go outside. We deliberately behave in such a way that we are scolded and insulted, and we understand that we are no longer offended by such words.
But there are also other, old words ..
Mom told us: “My dear! My darlings! My favorite! My joy! My good kids!
When we remember such words, we have tears in our eyes.
We must forget such words, because now no one tells us anything like that, and it is too hard to remember them.
So we start practicing again, in a different way.
We are speaking:
— «My dear! My darlings! I love you! .. I will never, never leave you! .. I will not love anyone but you … Always, always! You are all I have in my life!”
So we repeat these words over and over again, and gradually they lose their meaning, and the pain they bring is gradually forgotten.