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Couple
In times of coronavirus el virtual sex, the self-eroticism and the reinforcement of emotional link in the couple they are taking on a special role. These are some of the sensations that emerge from the data with which Dr. Francisca Molero is working these days, current president of the Spanish Federation of Sexology Societies and director of the Ibero-American Institute of Sexology, as well as a teacher. The expert is part of a research carried out in several Spanish and Portuguese-speaking countries by the AISM (International Academy of Medical Sexology) regarding his sexual activity in the first weeks of confinement. Although the data segregated by country will be known in the coming days, it is already possible to extract some common notes. According to Dr. Molero, it has become clear that the fear uncertainty and the concern they have played a trick on the frequency of relationships and sexual satisfaction in general, especially at the beginning of confinement.
It is true that, as he clarifies, each case is different depending on how he is living the confinement. Thus, it is not the same for a couple who share a 90 square meter apartment or a chalet with a garden, than for a couple who live with their partner and their children in 50 square meters. And also the experience will be different depending on whether the children are young or already teenagers. The casuistry is broad and it is difficult to generalize, but the expert is convinced that what we are experiencing will impact us in such a way that we will live a before and after in sexual intercourse.
One of the points that seems clearer is that the “lack of time”, the one that is asked at all hours, the one we yearned for when we didn’t have it, is no longer “the perfect excuse” to explain why there was less sexual activity. Thus, Francisca Molero argues that in reality this greater availability of current time has not led to an increase in sexual relations in couples who live together, but to the contrary.
However, he clarifies that it is logical that this happens precisely in this context, since there is something very basic about sex: you have more desire when a person is better. And currently the truth is that what is being experienced plays against sex. “We cannot forget that all this process of uncertainty, fear, concern for health has made us see that we are vulnerable and that although we may have many things around us, the rest is blurred when we lack the essentials.” argues.
Increased virtual sex
Virtual sexual relations have increased during confinement in general, but also in the case of solid and stable couples who do not live together, they have not only increased but also have become more rewarding than expected. Reference is even made to greater satisfaction than in cases of sporadic virtual sex and not with stable partners, according to the study in which Molero works.
The explanation for this high degree of satisfaction of the virtual sex between stable couples It is due, according to the expert, to the fact that this formula has made couples begin to explore and use resources of seduction and excitement that they may not have had to use until that moment. The imagination plays an important role in this type of relationship in which, although the senses such as touch, taste and smell are not present in sexual interaction, the visual and auditory stimuli, which can be very suggestive. According to Molero, the fact of not having that bodily connection, that contact with the skin or those caresses, makes the voice, the word, the language and the sounds work in a special way. “Couples who have practiced virtual sex during confinement will be learning ways of communicating that will add an extra experience and pleasure to their face-to-face sex,” he says.
The voice doesn’t just excite women
The cadence of the voice, the meaning of the words and even the way of speaking are important aspects when it comes to seduce y excite for both men and women, despite the fact that it has always been said that they respond more to auditory stimuli than to visual ones. According to Francisca Molero, the serious studies that have been carried out on what stimulates more sexually to one or another people reveal that there are more differences between people of the same sex than between people of different sex. “This means that the intensity and quality with which sexual stimuli are perceived is totally individual. There are as many tastes as there are people, although there are things that bring pleasure or excitement to anyone such as an erotic caress or a suggestive look from someone who attracts us, ”he reveals.
The discovery of autoeroticism
When speaking of sexuality as a structural part of the person, Francisca Molero refers to three fundamental functions of sexuality: pleasure, reproduction y erotic communication.
One of the sexual practices that has grown during confinement is self-eroticism or the masturbation. And that is not strange because, as Dr. Molero explains, it not only helps increase knowledge of the body, but also stimulates the reward circuits and helps us feel better. During autoeroticism, according to the expert, body systems such as cardiovascular, endocrine, osteoarticular and neuronal are activated, in addition to secreting, according to the expert, a series of substances that help modulate anxiety states. «We are curious by nature and we spend our lives trying to grow and improve ourselves. Autoeroticism is situated in that line of wanting to grow and know our body, which is also directly connected with our emotions, feelings and thoughts, “he explains.
And the same happens with the consumption of erotic toys, whose online acquisition has also increased during confinement. Francisca Molero believes that this interest in experimenting with devices indicates that the fear of pleasure has been lost and that it has been incorporated as something that is part of our life. Every time less shame is perceived when talking about its use and in that it has had a lot to do, according to the doctor, the reaffirmation of female sexuality as such. “The industry, which is aware of trends or the demands of the population, has had to respond to these needs by working on the creation of specific erotic toys,” he explains.
Although sexual activities will not decrease, in general, after the quarantine, the president of the Spanish Federation of Sexology Societies does believe that there will be a cultural, in them. On the one hand he predicts that sporadic intercourse will decrease, at least in the medium term, because for a time the fear of contagion will continue to persist. Thus, express sex appointments from Tinder or any other platform will no longer be common to have sex on the first date, he says.
And on the other hand, the expert also sees a paradigm shift in the sexual relationship model between stable couples. «Confinement or quarantine has served to make couples realize the importance of emotional bond and also so that they relativize some things, be more tolerant and manage their differences in another way. It may also have served to balance the division of tasks or day-to-day management. One thing that, by the way, affects sexual activity much more than we think ”, he analyzes.
In general terms, the expert believes that there will be changes in the way of conceiving sexual relations, although these may affect us more or less depending on the time that this situation lasts.