In most cases, it all starts with a suspicious image on the ultrasound. The announcement remains a crucial moment. “When faced with a problem, I avoid talking to the woman when she is lying down. Then, I write the pathology, and I make a drawing, ”explains Dr Anaïs Bekmezian, obstetrician-gynecologist at the Robert Debré hospital and at the maternity ward of the Diaconesses, in Paris. “Even with a certain and incurable anomaly, I never mention the termination of pregnancy at the first ultrasound”, continues Dr Bekmezian. In most cases, the fetus is affected by a chromosomal or genetic abnormality, the malformation, or a infection contracted during pregnancy. New examinations must above all confirm the diagnosis : a sample of amniotic fluid facing a suspicion of trisomy 21, a second ultrasound facing a suspicious image on the brain.
IMG: support is essential
Suddenly the pregnancy is put in parentheses. The hardest part is returning home, with unanswered questions. “Some women need a shrink, others especially not”, testifies Adeline Mille, co-founder of “Petite Emilie”, an association which accompany and guide the parents concerned.
The maternity staff remains the mainstay of information. “Do not hesitate to discuss with the medical team to make a well-documented choice,” advises Laurence Pavie, midwife at the Maternity of the Diaconesses, and vice-president of “Petite Emilie”. The decision to terminate the pregnancy can be taken to term (see box). And this choice is not the only way out. “Palliative care exists when the disease is lethal,” explains Adeline Mille. The couple needs mature your decision. This period of reflection is essential in order to be able to postnatal mourning. But also to prepare for the aftermath. “In this story, there is a death and a meeting. You have to be able to accompany the baby to the end, ”she continues.
In the event of a medical termination of pregnancy, the law provides for a specific mechanism: civil status, funeral, maternity leave, etc.
What the law sayson the IMG
AN INCURABLE AFFECTION.IMG is offered when “there is a high probability that the unborn child will have a particularly serious condition, recognized as incurable at the time of diagnosis”. Or “when the pregnancy seriously endangers the health of the woman”. At the couple’s request and after informed information, two approved physicians from the Multidisciplinary Center for Prenatal Diagnosis (CPDPN) must give a favorable opinion.
A FIRST NAME. From 15 weeks of amenorrhea (SA), the child can have a first name. In the event of death before childbirth, it is issued a “lifeless child” certificate, entered in the death register. Funerals can be organized.
IMG: the entourage is also concerned
In the painful ordeal that is the journey that leads to an IMG, those around you are also concerned. The family, the children shared the joy of a birth, and the bad news fell. Hiding the IMG from siblings wouldn’t help them. It remains to find right words, like, “The baby is not going home. We cannot treat him, he will die, ”explains Laurence Pavie. You can read them “Le Livre de Léa” (in PDF on), a concentrate of tact and simplicity. With grandparents and friends, communication is not easier. Some clumsily try to reassure: “You are young, you will have another. “Adeline Mille insists:” It’s not appendicitis! Whatever happens, the child is integrated into the history of women. “
After the IMG, which requires two days of hospitalization, each woman should be able to find help if she wishes. The support and accompaniment associations are often of great help, by offering information, a forum, discussion groups… A first step in rebuilding oneself.
For more information: and lenfantsansnom.com
Testimony: “The hardest part is to repair the guilt. »Daphne and Jacques
“In the summer of 2012, 12 weeks pregnant, I had the blood test for the risk of Down’s syndrome, and I had a poor prognosis. I had to wait until I was 21 weeks to have the amniocentesis. Then wait another 18 weeks for the result. Everyone was trying to reassure me, I was supported a lot. But the diagnosis was verified. I had to wait another 3 days to terminate the pregnancy, at 15 weeks. After a rejection reaction, I spoke to my little girl during the short time before the procedure. On D-Day, we go to the slaughterhouse. I had a close-knit medical team, which helped me. I welcomed this child as if she were alive. Cléophée was small, but beautiful. I asked for cremation. Today, I feel ready to disperse his ashes. The hard part is fixing the guilt. For Galatea, the onset of pregnancy took place on November 22, 13: two years to the day after this IMG. “
Daphne and Jacques, parents of Apollinaire, 8, Théophane, 7, and Galatée, 2