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Announcement of miscarriage
« Little by little, things are changing in the maternity wards, but at the time of the announcement, there is still work to be done at the level of birth professionals, such as sonographers or gynecologists ”, explains Nadia Bergougnoux. “Too often, even today, parents hear words that should no longer be said like: ‘It happens’. “You will have others”, “He could have been handicapped, it is better for you”. On the contrary, at that time, faced with the horror of what is happening to the parents, it would be necessary to find kind words, of appeasement, of comfort and of empathy. For example, I would have liked to hear “I’m sorry, we will do everything to make it as easy as possible for you” from the gynecologist who told me coldly that my baby’s heart was no longer beating. ».
After childbirth,
At the time of childbirth, more and more maternity hospitals offer parents to see the body of their baby. Some parents may be scared, because they imagine the worst deformities, but the parents’ experience reveals that having proof of the existence of this baby allows them to make their own way of mourning. So, we can take him in our arms, we take a picture of him, we can ask to take his fingerprints, to keep a small bracelet if there is one, anything that will prove his passage on earth.
Civil status and future of the body
As for the fate of the baby’s body, after an early miscarriage, the parents can ask to recover it (often, this is if the body is formed, sexed, therefore, generally after 15 weeks of pregnancy). It will be necessary to make a special request to the municipality to organize a funeral. On the other hand, without a birth certificate, it is not possible to register the child in the civil status.
From 15 weeks of amenorrhea, the midwives draw up a medical certificate of childbirth which makes it possible to obtain an act of “a lifeless child”. The parents can then declare it to the civil status, with only his first name. Parents have the option of recovering the body for burial or cremation.
After 22 weeks of amenorrhea, if the child is born alive and viable, the parents have the obligation to declare it to the civil registry. It will then have a name and a first name.
To discover in video: I’m afraid of miscarriage
In video: “I’m afraid of miscarriage”: response from the midwife
After miscarriage: what is the medical treatment?
After one early miscarriage, things often return to normal, without special treatment. Sonly a follow-up ultrasound is necessary if there has been no aspiration or curettage, to check the condition of the uterus.
On the other hand, after a late miscarriage, the medical check-up is normally scheduled in the weeks following the miscarriage.
Update on ectopic pregnancy Sometimes the pregnancy cannot continue because the egg, instead of nesting in the uterus, attaches abnormally to a tube. Its development is then limited and it is impossible to transfer it to the uterus. Moreover, during the first weeks, in 10% of cases, the pregnancy ends on its own and passes for a spontaneous miscarriage. The risk is that the egg will continue to grow and cause the tube in which it is installed to rupture, which can lead to internal bleeding, sometimes severe. It is therefore important to make the diagnosis as quickly as possible because the pregnancy must then be terminated. |
People around can help
At the level of the entourage, it is important to encourage parents to speak. Tell them: “If you need to talk about it, I’m here.” “It doesn’t mean that parents need to talk about it all day, but talking about this baby, giving it an existence, is important. »Explains Nadia Bergougnoux. ” Above all, don’t pretend nothing has happened. Otherwise, the parent will feel denied. It is also better to give this baby a first name, even if he died before having a first name. »Talking about his child to those around him, to his friends, it helps to have proof of the existence of his baby.
Psychological support
“It is absolutely important to offer psychological support to people who have gone through this ordeal,” explains Nadia Bergougnoux. This can take different forms: follow-up with a psychotherapist, but also join a support group, or a support group for “paranges”, as we find on the Web. “The important thing is to talk about what happened, to make this child exist, and especially not to try to bury his existence, as if nothing had happened. It is important to share this with others who have gone through the same ordeal, because we are better understood. Some mothers who have lost their babies at one month of pregnancy sometimes wonder whether they have the right to join a support group, but there is no limit: having a miscarriage is already lose a baby, regardless of its term. “
Symbolic rituals
“I advise parents to establish a symbolic ritual: it could be to keep a photo of the baby, create a small altar, light a candle. For others, it will be to have a mass said in his memory, to go and meditate on his grave. This will allow the survival of the child’s memory and the recognition of his passage on earth. »Explains Nadia Bergougnoux. October 15 is World Day of Perinatal Mourning. On that day, you can join a march and let a balloon fly with the child’s first name.
(* death of the embryo or non-viable fetus, whether early or late)
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