“I am the most charming and attractive. I really like men. They are just crazy about me. All the men turn around and look after me, ”the heroine of the famous film Nadya Klyueva muttered under her breath. The popularity of the girl eventually came. But was it only self-hypnosis that helped her?
The “correct” attitude, affirmations… In almost every Instagram marathon, we are asked to “think positively”, presenting ourselves as rich, successful and happy (underline as appropriate). We record new phrases that should lead us to a brighter future, hang them in a conspicuous place, repeat aloud, make audio recordings. What is it and how does it work?
Pros and cons of affirmations
“Mantras (not in the religious sense of the word), positive attitudes and affirmations are methods of self-hypnosis, that is, psychological influence on oneself, one’s thoughts and ideas about the world,” explains psychologist Mikhail Tegin. – The basis of their action is repeated repetition. Each thought is followed by an emotion, and together they form a new bond.
These methods relate to the so-called attitudes – unconscious mental states that precede and to some extent determine any form of mental activity. Therefore, such methods of influence can have a positive effect on the mental and psychological state.
For example, a simple affirmation “I am confident in myself” will help build confidence even if you don’t feel like you have it.
Such statements remind us that certain qualities are already inherent in all of us – it is enough just to “wake them up”. If you don’t trust anyone or anything in life, but want to change it, it will be useful to gradually convince yourself that the world is neither good nor bad, that it is different, and everything happens in it.
Statements like “I can make decisions” and “I have enough experience to overcome difficulties” will help you achieve your goal faster. “However, one “but” should be added: the effect of such methods of influence cannot be eternal and long-term,” the psychologist warns. “This is due to the fact that they do not always affect the unconscious, deep layers of the psyche and are not fully capable of reshaping previously emerged and existing attitudes and connections.”
Another danger is inconsistency with the real state of affairs.
For example, you want to buy an expensive bag and say to yourself: “I have a bag from this brand.” But in fact, it still doesn’t exist. Anguish, almost depression, arises: the gap between dream and reality is too great.
According to Mikhail Tegin, often those who choose only affirmations to achieve their goals are not ready for real actions: in the case of a bag, making money. After all, imagining a treasured bag on your shoulder is much more pleasant than thinking about work.
What really helps?
“The structuring of feelings and thoughts that would help create a positive attitude will help keeping a diary with subsequent analysis of what was written,” says the psychologist. – Answer yourself, what questions are most often “discussed” in the diary? What are the most common words? What synonyms can be used to more vividly and fully convey the meaning of experiences and one’s state?
If there is no time or desire to keep a diary, then you can write down everything that comes to mind in a notebook. The stream of consciousness records should be re-read and analyzed as well. They can show at what step along the road of thoughts and feelings bumps can occur. The same exercise will help to determine the goal.
The main thing is to formulate a realistic affirmation
If an affirmation causes you a persistent rejection – for example, you tell yourself that “The world is kind and fair”, but with your whole being you feel that this is not so, you should not force yourself. It is better to think about how you can change this statement so that it matches your deep inner attitudes.
For example, instead of “The world is kind and fair,” you can phrase it like this: “Every day can bring both sadness and joy, I myself choose what to focus my attention on.”
About expert
Mikhail Tegin — psychoanalytically oriented psychologist-consultant, member of the Russian branch of the European Confederation for Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy (RO-ECPP).