This is how this process looks in the eyes of future fathers.
Until recently, partner childbirth was rare. It was believed that a man in the holy of holies – the maternity hospital – had nothing to do. They thought wrong. As many women who had experience of partner childbirth later admitted, the process is much easier if a loved one is nearby. He will stretch his back and give him a glass of water. In an extreme case, there is someone to yell at, if it’s absolutely unbearable.
Men also remember the day of childbirth with special trepidation. After all, they cut the umbilical cord and hold the baby one of the first in their hands. However, for many it is also a huge stress. Not comparable, of course, with what a woman experiences in the delivery room, but let’s be condescending – men also have something to regret. Here are 10 of the most difficult times for fathers-to-be during childbirth.
Usually it is the man’s responsibility to get his woman to the hospital. Imagine what it would be like to drive a car when your loved one groans in pain in the back seat. And if the contractions began suddenly, and there are traffic jams on the streets? Therefore, we advise fathers in advance, at least once, in a calm atmosphere, to take a ride to the hospital in order to know for the future which route to take, depending on the time of day.
Of course, it is very difficult to lie in the hospital for hours with contractions – here you will not envy women. However, future fathers also have a hard time. They worry that they cannot speed up the process, they cannot control the situation. They are afraid that nothing depends on them. And from this, the expectation can seem like an eternity. At the same time, a man must keep himself in control and be calm so as not to give unnecessary reasons for worries to his wife.
The birth of a person is something unimaginable, a real miracle of nature. And most men are not ready for this miracle. At the same time, the future father sees how his woman is suffering, and does not understand whether everything is going well or whether it is time to sound the alarm. As a rule, mothers are much more prepared for the process. Many people read books about childbirth, attend courses. In addition, for 9 months of pregnancy, the woman has already gotten used to the idea that she will become a mother.
All 9 months before the birth, the father, as a rule, takes an active part in the process. She goes with the mother of her unborn child to an ultrasound scan and an antenatal clinic, takes care of her, participates in children’s shopping. Particularly touching are fathers who communicate with the baby, stroking the belly of his mother.
But now the parents-to-be come to the hospital, and the father has to step aside, allowing the professionals to do their job. Many fathers remain aloof for the next couple of months after giving birth. Because all the responsibilities of caring for the child are taken over by the mother. As a result, for a long time, fathers do not know how to behave with a baby, and are even afraid to take him in their arms.
Most fathers believe that labor takes a couple of hours at most. Someone has this, but more often childbirth, especially the first, long and tiring. When dad feels it takes longer than he expected to have a baby, he starts to feel uncomfortable. The fear arises that something has gone wrong. Of course, mothers are also worried, but they try to drive away bad thoughts from themselves. And it’s hard to think about something when you’re bursting with contractions.
Men, by nature, love to be in control. This is a great quality when it comes to work, but it is absolutely useless in a maternity hospital. When the father-to-be sees how his beloved is tormented, he probably also wants to intervene in the process. Someone even begins to distribute instructions to doctors, only interfering with their work.
Newbie dads who have not yet been in a partner birth cannot even imagine how unpleasant this process can be. Lost water, gases, unexpected “accidents” due to a full intestine. So advice to fathers: stand at the head of the family table, hold your beloved by the hand and do not even think to look at the epicenter of events at least out of the corner of your eye.
“What if something bad happens to her or to the child?” – this obsessive thought haunts many fathers. Attending childbirth preparation courses together will help a man ease his mental anguish, but he can only truly breathe calmly when everything is finally over.
Particularly touchy and sensitive men should clearly not be present at childbirth. During contractions, the wife can shout and send to hell. Well, she must, in such a tense moment, break off on someone. Therefore, one thing remains: to understand and forgive.
And the young father has a lot of them. Buy the missing baby things, do the cleaning in the house, call relatives and friends (and after all, “everything is fine” alone will not do, everyone is interested in details). In addition, the spouse is probably waiting for some special celebration upon discharge. So, you have to try.