Adopted child: adoption of children, personal experience

Victoria Gavrilova, 44 years old, entrepreneur:

– I grew up in a large, close-knit family, where I am the eldest daughter and two younger sisters, the weather. Mom got married a second time. This is how another sister appeared in my family. All girls have children. I have three nephews and one niece. I love everyone, two have a godmother. She was married. I did IVF twice. I thought for a long time why the Lord does not give me children, because I want it so much? Maybe because she swam from April to November, even though the water was cold? After all, I grew up at sea …

– I thought about it all the time, although the doctors say that everything is individual. Only those who have passed it will understand me. I mean, IVF. This is preparation, this is injections, this is waiting, replanting … And then … Either the embryos have taken root or not. The second time the miscarriage was in the fourth month. And this is horror. I got fat, became nervous. We were preparing for the third IVF … But my husband could not resist and left. I would like to say a bad word, how much I cried, how I suffered, and how you could have done this to me. I went to work. After a while, she took her retired mother to her place. And it was then that my mother told me: “Vika, sometimes God does not give a baby through the womb, but he can give you a baby from the hands of other people who do not need him!”

I went to the Internet. And there – hundreds of forums with horror stories, scarecrows: they say, all children are abandoned drunks, you never know what genetics will come out, “we took it and gave it back.”

Then I look at my dog ​​and think: how I love her! I don’t know her mother and her father, animal, tail-paws … But I love you. And then the children! What is there to think about. A lawyer friend helped me. We have collected the documents. You won’t believe how many are needed! If you put a stack of these papers on the table, then there will definitely be half a meter in width. There were documents on salary and mental health, questionnaires with family traditions, questions about how much time is left for a child, who will be with him if I am at work: I’m a single mother, it turns out, without a husband. Collected. The application was made.

– They called that there is a boy in such an orphanage, and a girl in another. The city is not ours. Honestly, I really wanted a baby. But they offered children 4 and 7 years old. Let’s go with mom, sister and friend. Waited there in the lobby. We talked for a long time with the manager. And suddenly she says to me: “You know, we have one girl … It’s not very clear about her, my mother has not written a final refusal, and such children are in limbo. But she looks a lot like you! “

It was a quiet hour. We sat down near the lockers with clothes. And now they brought me a thin little curly hair with huge brown eyes. Red hair! As I was in childhood. The girl was two and a half years old. And already at three they are transferred somewhere from the baby’s house.

– This is our beautiful Sofia! – said the teacher.

She was shy and hid behind a woman. And I froze, I don’t know why.

– Do you have a cookie? She asked quietly and cleanly.

We brought bags of ten gifts, toys and fruits. But not everything was possible for children, and they were looked through. Then my mom took out a packet of waffles and gave it to Sofia. She looked at the teacher: “Can I?” Only then she began to eat. And suddenly she asked:

– Have you my mother arrived?

Exactly. Word by word. And I burst into tears.

– I won’t say that everything was easy. We designed our Sonya for another 8 months. Heaven helped only, there is so much nomenclature and papers in this!

What will I say now. My saffron milk cap is entering the fourth grade this year. Instead of a child from Buchenwald, I now have a pretty, smart girl with knee-length curls. Studying at 4 and 5. We dance, go singing to a private teacher (the best in the city). We get flu once a year, less often than other children. In the classroom, half of moms live without dads. We are no different, considering that Sofiyka still has so many brothers and sisters. And three wonderful aunts with husbands.

I don’t understand how I lived without her. She looks at the family photos and says: “Ma-a-am, how did you get the cannabis out? You, too, have your whole face in them, but I don’t want to! ” And I remember how I also suffered from teasing at school. “This sun loves you as much as it did me in childhood!” And in our family, almost everyone is like that. After all, she is my girl. And we are so similar to her. I didn’t regret a second. I’m happy. I am a mother!

Irina Kim, 39 years old, designer:

– I am an artist and gave all of myself to work. I cannot say that I wanted children. She was married and divorced. And then I wanted to give birth for myself from a good person. Moreover, he really insisted. Strongly. He is already over forty, he also did not have children. We lived together for two years, I could not get pregnant. We started talking about IVF. He is shocked: “How is it, I don’t understand this at all, it’s not by nature.” It really hurt and offended me. And now I have these thoughts … I want a child. Want! Ripe to be a mom. And then there was another blow. And IVF won’t help me either. She roared for a long time. She drew all sorts of terrible things, threw out pictures. Depression set in. I went to a psychologist. Well, it helped a little. And, as luck would have it, the men who met me, EVERYONE wanted a child. Here, friends, let’s say, did not come across a single one like that. Attracted such. I believe in it. The universe reflects everything.

– And now I receive an order for a banner for the children’s competition. I meet with the customer, such a nice man, he talks about children all the time. Just like me, a Korean with a Russian mother. We started talking about this. I said that dad died last year. He sympathized with me, replied that his parents were alive. We met for work a couple more times. They even agreed that he needed a dacha, but not far from the city, with a reservoir. And my dacha was empty after the death of my father. I say: “Yes, live with your family until you come across a buyer, move out! How many of you?” He answers: “Three.” I thought that he, his wife and the child. And that’s it.

In June, he called me and asked how much the house was worth. So they liked it there. I came with documents to the dacha. And there is Misha, his 11-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter. She didn’t ask anything. And I sold the dacha. I bought a new car. And then one day Misha invited me to pick apricots to my former dacha. Here you have to laugh, I guess. I collected fruits and took them home. And so, when the downpour began, he simply did not let me in in such weather. They drank tincture (mine still) and talked about life. It turned out that his wife had died. Misha has been raising children himself for two years.

And his daughter, Varya, has ears sticking out like mine! And I really wanted to be in this family. To the melancholy.

I missed it when I left. I bought gifts for children. And on November 14, 2015, we got married. Soon we have been together for three years. I can’t, I love my children and my husband. They me too. The children are mine. And the point. Mom’s photo is on the fireplace. I sometimes tell her: “Tanya, I will take care of them, thanks for the children!”

Elena Loginova, 54 years old, physician:

– It’s my own fault that I cannot have children. A matter of youthful mistakes. I don’t want to talk about it. At the age of 26, the diagnosis was made. She worked in social services, in a kindergarten, at a school, then got a job at the State Institution of Public Administration, an orphanage. There are many children, I feel sorry for everyone. There are pleasant children in communication, there are very difficult ones. Do not be offended and do not judge me for these words. It is difficult to work there. Children are very angry with life, sometimes it even seems, when reading a child’s file, that from a young age he is copying the behavior of his parents.

And now, after five years of my work there, I suddenly began to feel maternal notes to the boy Zhenya. And everyone told me: “If you want to work here, don’t get attached! And you’re better off, and don’t single out the children, they can see everything! ” But I got attached. Like in that movie with Gundareva, remember? The student refused the boy because of serious health problems from birth. Will outgrow – will not outgrow. But he did it. Zhenya visited my office and pressed his always snotty nose to me. Oh, how hard it was to tell my husband! He was outright against taking the child, shouted, throwing terrible words: “I knew that it would all end this way! I have no complaints about you. We live without children, and okay! Do you want him to grow up and stab us all? “

– Year! For a whole year I persuaded. And then they began to give me Zhenya for the weekend (I won’t explain for a long time, there is such a type of guardianship over a child). And my husband thawed out. He began to drive to the garage, he says, a smart guy, will be an auto mechanic!

Zhenya moved in with us at the age of 13. Teenager. There were problems, but no more than others. He never rude to us, did not offend us. I remember all this and think: how is it, why I didn’t take him earlier, how lonely he was without us … Evgeny Borisovich, by the way, still often disappears in his father’s garage, but a car mechanic is his hobby. He graduated from medicine and works in a rehabilitation center with athletes. I have two blue-eyed bully granddaughters – Anyuta and Mashenka. I love them. And the daughter-in-law, when she learned our story, burst into tears. All the names are real, I have nothing to hide. And you still think, maybe there is YOUR child somewhere.

And he is very much waiting for you. Your mom.