The crisis of adolescence is the behavioral difficulties of children aged 12-15 years, a consequence of their struggle for independence. At this time, the teenager wants to prove that he can do everything on his own, without parents, it is important for him that no one interferes in his life, the teenager wants independence from parental control.
Previously, my son liked to watch movies with his parents, now he wants to watch a movie alone. “Mom, can I watch this movie alone, without your comments?”
There is no biological basis for the crisis of adolescence. M. Mead, who studied adolescents on the island of Samoa, proved the inconsistency of the idea of the inevitability of crisis and conflicts in adolescence and showed their social, rather than biological, conditionality. She discovered the existence of a harmonious, conflict-free transition from childhood to adulthood in Samoan adolescents and described in detail the living conditions, the characteristics of upbringing and the relationship of children with others. Mead generally assessed adolescence in girls as the most pleasant and free period in comparison with childhood and adulthood. Later, she showed that the onset of puberty in a girl, firstly, may not be a fact of extreme subjective importance for her and pass almost unnoticed and, secondly, have different meanings for the life of the tribe (be a boon for everyone or carry a danger ) and the girl herself: in some cases this is a signal for recognizing her adulthood and preparing for the marriage ceremony, in others, the circle of her rights and obligations only slightly changes. In studies of ethnographers, it was found that adolescence can have a different duration and, in some tribes, be limited to several months.
How to treat it? As to the fact that at this age you want it. Whether a teenage boy or girl deserves these rights is up to the parents to decide. In good families, parents work to stay ahead of the crisis: they make sure that children by adolescence have matured enough, objectively become sufficiently reasonable and responsible people. They themselves, in advance, without waiting for demands and conflicts, give adolescent children their rights.
If you give it in advance, it is your gift. If you do not give it on time, it will be your concession and defeat after the conflict that has occurred.
Wise parents do not allow teenagers to behave boorishly, leaving all the requirements for decent behavior that are natural in a good family. A crisis is a crisis, and a normal father will not allow a mother to tell either his son or his daughter.
Problems of adolescence
Teenagers are desperate to be considered adults, deeply resent being treated like children. See →