To make your adjustment to your partner effective, the following rules will help you: “Echo”, “Mood”, “Comfort”, “Logic”, “Detuning from unnecessary”. More:
Adjustment (we emphasize: any, not only in the body, but also in speech and breathing) should be performed with less intensity than the original actions of the client. He laughed — you smiled, he crossed his legs, you crossed your ankles, he folded his arms over his chest, you put one hand on the other. Etc. If at first it may distract you a little from the conversation, then soon it will, on the contrary, entertain you. And give yourself confidence.
Adjustment should reproduce not so much the external pattern of posture and gestures as the internal state of the partner, physical or mental. It is important to feel how the weight of the partner’s body is distributed (and repeat it to yourself), what state these so tense or relaxed muscles express. In your body, attentive to the partner, there should be not just an external alternation of his quick or smooth gestures, but the living of his interest, enthusiasm, thoughtfulness, determination …
Any reproducible posture and any repetitive gesture should be comfortable and organic for you.
Your postures and gestures should be logical and meaningful, correspond to the essence of the situation and the content of the conversation.
- Detachment from unnecessary
If you are inattentive and, among other things, without noticing this, adjust to erroneous, unnecessary behavior for you, you will, in fact, reinforce it. Do not allow this: clearly fix what behavior of the partner does not suit you, and clearly build up from this behavior. See →