Our beliefs determine reality. If we carry a load of limiting beliefs, it will be much harder to get rid of the addiction and start life anew. So let’s start clearing up the accumulated «mental blockages» and gradually get rid of them.
Limiting beliefs are the rules and principles that govern our lives. Many we follow unconsciously, having learned them in childhood. Often they arise on the basis of past painful experiences. The mind wants to see meaning in what is happening, so after unpleasant events, it creates a principle for us that we must follow so that this does not happen again in the future.
Here are some of the beliefs that drive our actions:
- I’m not good enough.
- I have to do everything right, otherwise no one will love me.
- I’m missing something.
- I’m always messing things up and doing things wrong.
- I can’t do it.
- It’s better not to try anything new.
- There’s no point in even trying.
Our mind “thinks” that it protects us from pain, constantly suggesting to us that we are useless and should not expect anything good from life. He tries to get us to accept these unpleasant beliefs so that we don’t feel the pain of failure or rejection so hard.
In fact, this self-defense system does not work. It only causes more harm, and at once on four levels: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Our body and psyche strive for synchronicity, so when we are hard psychologically and emotionally, it soon becomes bad and physically.
Any addiction both dulls the pain and reflects our inner state. Therefore, in order to heal from it, it is important to deal with those deep problems that make us seek solace in alcohol, drugs, or something else. It is important to deal with anxiety, depression, unhealed spiritual wounds — with everything that keeps us captive.
How to change these beliefs
Step one: Identify your value judgments and limiting beliefs. How to do it? Think about what judgments give you the most concern and what they are based on.
How to determine which judgments are value judgments? Let’s say you’re frustrated or angry that a friend is late again for a meeting, even though you didn’t say anything out loud. Your value judgments might be: «He should have been on time» and «I should have told him about it.»
It can be based on painful and limiting beliefs, such as:
- Nobody cares about me.
- It makes no sense to communicate with others — they always let me down anyway.
- I have no right to talk about my experiences.
- I don’t have the courage to tell the truth.
Step two: forgive yourself for judging. Feel all the love that you can, meditation or remembering a person dear to you will help with this. While in this peaceful state, say out loud: “I forgive myself for judging [name of person] by calling him / her … (selfish, fool), because in fact …” — continue the phrase (your “I” will tell you, as).
Freed from addictions and limiting beliefs, we begin to see billions of new ideas and possibilities.
Step three: Forgive yourself for your limiting beliefs. Say, “I forgive myself for being convinced of this [your old belief] and it limited my options. Now I understand that [your new belief].» Here are some examples of new beliefs:
- I take care of myself, I’m important to myself.
- I take the initiative in communication, and I like this trait of mine.
- I have the right to feel what I feel.
- I have courage that I don’t know about yet.
As actor Kyle Seese wrote in the best-selling book I Hope to Screw It Up, “By freeing ourselves from addictions, from limiting beliefs, from everything that distracts us, we begin to notice billions of new ideas and opportunities that seem to be waiting for those who dare to implement them.” . What opportunities will open up for you? Get rid of limiting beliefs and find out.
About the author: Joe Kelzer is a psychologist and head of a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center.