Lack of motivation, harmful influence from others prevent many of us from moving towards the goal. Psychologist John Bargh explains how to take advantage of unconscious mechanisms and get things done.
It’s the end of February now. Many of us made promises to ourselves before the New Year and have already managed to break them. Perhaps you planned to exercise, spend more time with your kids, or get angry less. But now they are as far from the goal as they were last year.
Part of the problem is that all of our promises rely on a conscious decision-making process. We proclaim the intention to live differently, but experience shows that good intentions alone are not enough. Our ship is thrown off course by powerful unconscious motivations or cues from the environment that influence what we do. We are not aware of these impacts, so we are not taking steps to counter them. However, they, like wind and currents, affect the course of the ship. If these factors are ignored, the ship may crash against the rocks.
If you’ve broken a promise, ask yourself, «Do I really want to change?» Perhaps deep down you still want to overeat and avoid exercise. So, these hidden desires will defeat your good intentions.
Many years ago, Princeton University conducted an experiment with seminary students who were preparing to become priests. All of them were highly moral and sympathetic people. The participants in the experiment were told that they were late for a class where they were supposed to give a sermon. The students had to hurry to arrive on time. On the way, they all saw a man who was lying on the floor in the hall and was clearly suffering. Hurrying students rushed past without stopping to help. The desire to be in time for the beginning of the lesson blocked their values, and they did not help the person who needed it. Significantly, they were to read the parable of the good Samaritan.
The same thing can happen to anyone. Despite values and intentions, we may have other goals that conflict with new promises. If deep down we don’t want to keep promises, consciousness will easily find many excuses: “I’ll go on a diet from tomorrow.” And tomorrow will never come. So ask yourself if you’re really ready to work on change. Only if your answer is “yes” will you be able to overcome these winds and currents that lead you astray.
If Facebook connects us with depressed or lonely people, our chances of becoming so increase.
Another factor is associated with signals from the external environment, which, at an unconscious level, provoke behavior in a certain way. For example, the behavior of others is very contagious. We can “pick up” it by daily communication with others or through social networks.
If Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia) connects us with depressed, lonely, sympathetic or happy people, the chances of becoming the same increase, even if we do not interact with them personally. The media also affects us: we eat more when we see food advertisements. Teenagers consume more alcohol if alcohol ads are often shown on TV. By recognizing the influence of these unconscious factors, we can turn them to our advantage. Otherwise, it is easy to fall into their power.
Laboratory research and experiments in real life have confirmed the power of conscious intentions. Often they take the form: «When X happens, I will do Y.» You create a clear and precise plan that describes where, when and how you will implement your intentions. You tie your future desired behavior to an event or situation. When the event happens, you will start doing what you wanted to do, even if you have already forgotten about it.
I myself have used this technique when I had a bad day at work. At first, I formulated an intention: to get rid of the stress of work when I get home, and to show my family that I missed them. Then I came up with an implementation plan that I tied to a future event: when I drive up to the house and get out of the car, I will remind myself to take a deep breath, forget about work, and have a good time with loved ones. I did the exercise for a week, and then it became a habit and still persists.
If you, for example, want to play sports, but keep putting off training, you can try. entering the bedroom to take off office clothes, immediately put on sneakers and a uniform. After that, it would be foolish not to go for a run.
Such intentions are important. They help people in hospitals and nursing homes remember to take the many drugs that their lives depend on. And for everyone else — to confidently move on a continued course, despite all the winds and currents.
Source: Greater Good Magazine.