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There is still an opinion that a psychiatric hospital is a place where they stuff the strongest psychotropics, use punitive methods and turn people into vegetables. But is it really so? Such assumptions are refuted by the story of Alexander, a guest of the podcast “They knocked from the bottom.”
Alexander is a 24-year-old boy who faced depression in his fourth year at university. The young man had a predisposition to this, his father suffered from the same ailment.
When it came time to write a diploma, Alexander discovered that he had accumulated a myriad of student debts, which caused anxiety to visit more and more often. It got to the point that as soon as he opened the laptop to start writing the final work, he was seized by panic.
After a while, Alexander realized that he had almost no resources left for everyday functioning — food lost its taste, and his favorite films and communication with friends ceased to please. Then he turned to a psychotherapist and began treatment — including medication. However, outpatient therapy was not enough. A man shared his experience of being treated at a clinic in a podcast with us. .
How do I know that I need to go to the hospital?
Depression is like war, and in war all means are good. The fact is that I have a tendency to addiction, so my psychiatrist did not prescribe strong drugs for me on an outpatient basis. In addition, I did not have enough money to be treated constantly, sometimes therapy had to be interrupted — and I began to understand that this format of work no longer suited me.
When I first contacted a psychiatrist, I was immediately offered to think about treatment in a hospital. Then I didn’t follow the advice. In 2020, I again turned to a specialist with the question: what should I do next?
The psychiatrist referred me to the place where she herself used to work — the Clinic of Neurosis in St. Petersburg.
What is needed for inpatient treatment in a psychiatric clinic
To be treated there for free, you need a temporary or permanent residence permit. I received it for about two months. In addition, it was necessary to be vaccinated against tetanus and diphtheria.
Most of all, I was worried that I would have to leave everyday life — who then would pay for the apartment? I had to earn in advance for a «financial pillow». I also turned to my family for help.
In order for you to be assigned to the hospital of the Clinic of Neurosis, you must pass the selection committee. They decide whether you need this type of therapy.
On the commission, for the first time, I found people who understand me. They saw in me not a person who raised his paws up, justifying his inaction with depression. They understood that I was really sick. I didn’t even know there were such good doctors. They combined compassion and professionalism.
What are the rules in a psychiatric clinic
There was nothing supernatural there. They just took away all piercing and cutting objects (even nail scissors). Recommended to use their bedding, clothes were mine. There were no terrible measures that make you feel worthless.
I went to the hospital right before the New Year. Therefore, at first my daily routine was as follows: awakening, breakfast, lunch, dinner and a drip. The rest of the time I just tried not to die of boredom, watched TV shows on my phone … It’s difficult to read under drugs — everything blurs. Most of the time I slept.
When the holidays ended, the procedures began. Nothing punitive — only pleasant massages, coniferous baths, physiotherapy exercises.
Personally, the absence of loved ones bothered me (due to the pandemic, it was impossible to meet with them). I also ate almost nothing because I’m a vegan — that was a problem.
Who did I lie with
The people around me were very different. But interestingly, a third of them were my peers — guys from 20 to 25 years old. There were no seriously ill patients in our department. Mostly there were patients with depressive episodes, panic disorder or sleep disorders. All adequate people with whom we communicated on completely different distant topics.
Why is inpatient care needed?
In the clinic, you don’t think about any everyday problems: you don’t even need to clean up, cook. It is isolation from the world with its irritants.
In addition, drugs of a certain action can be taken only under the supervision of a doctor. You can always give him feedback on side effects, and he will help you at any time.
What’s next?
A year and a half now I have to be treated with antidepressants. I was warned about this in advance. Once a week now I go to a psychiatrist, she asks if I’m ready to return to the hospital, but no one forces me to go to bed. There were those in the clinic who went to bed for the second or third time, but I would not want to go back there. However, if I understand that there is a need, I will lie down.
I still don’t like myself, but I will fight it in every possible way. I have already become more humane to treat myself and others. For many young people with psychiatric disorders, I become a guide to a world where it is not embarrassing to ask for help. After all, sometimes it’s worth accepting your powerlessness and turning to someone who can ease your pain — even just call the helpline for a start. If it is bad, it is extremely important to understand: you are not alone.
Prepared by materials «They knocked from the bottom.» This is a project of two journalists, Lola Saitmetova and Natasha Yamnitskaya, about people who found themselves in a difficult life situation, who despaired, but did not give up and learned to live anew.