They are funny, unbearable, pleasant, nasty, helpful, annoying. But it is with them that we sometimes spend more time than with our family. So it remains only to arm yourself with a sense of humor and stoically endure socialization.
1. “Everyone had a colleague whose dismissal caused great joy in the team. If you don’t remember this, maybe this is you?
2. “I live close to work. I had to tell my colleagues that I have a twin sister so as not to say hello outside the office. It’s gone!”
3. Colleague: “Have you ever wanted to work remotely all the time?” Me: “I never wanted to work in an office all the time.”
4. “Office kitchen. Colleague: “What’s for lunch?” Me: Food. She: “Well, what exactly do you have now?” Me: Idiot questions.
5. “Colleagues thought of sticking stickers with names on their food in the common refrigerator. I regularly eat yogurt named “Marina K”.
6. “You sit at work all day, and no one cares. But once you take a half-day leave – that’s it, you are an indispensable employee.
7. “Recruiter at the interview: “Are you capable of dialogue?” Me: “Since two years.”
8. Stages of working remotely. Day one: hooray, I’m alone at home! Day XNUMX: It would be nice to see living people. Day XNUMX: I hope this dove will fly again today.
9. “Co-worker at the party: “I know I don’t thank you enough for this. But thank you for not showing me pictures of your kids.”
10. Asked for a pay raise. Boss: “We appreciate your work so much that our gratitude cannot be measured in money”
11. “Boss: “This is the third time this week you are late for work! Do you know what that means?” Me: “Yeah, it’s only Wednesday.”
12. “The real hunger games are when you try to warm up dinner in the only microwave in the entire office.”
13. “I’m sure when kittens go to the office to work, there will always be at least one kitten who has pictures of lonely old maids on his desktop.”
14. “At the interview. Recruiter: “What is your greatest strength?” 45 minutes later, I: “I’m fine with silence.”
15. “The mortal sin is when your colleague asks a question at the end of a meeting that is already half an hour past the end of the working day.”
16. “I started a blog with a rating of the food that I steal from the office refrigerator. So far, accounting is leading in the “taste” category.”
17. “I go into a meeting room, two colleagues are yelling at each other. Me: “Do you mind if I join?”
18. “With a disarming smile, every morning I tell my colleagues: “Please do not talk to me until I have coffee.” And I never drink coffee.
19. “A boring meeting. The boss invites you to ask questions. Colleague: “Can I go first?” Boss: “Yes.” The colleague gets up and leaves.
20. “A colleague was retiring, everyone signed a touching postcard. I also wrote: “Take me with you!”