This is the opinion of many of us. But is it really so? This stereotype of sexuality is discussed by our experts, sexologists Alain Eril and Mireille Bonyerbal.
Alain Eril, psychoanalyst, sexologist:
Indeed, a woman, perceiving everything more holistically than a man, needs caresses in order to feel herself as a bodily whole. But what is more alarming and puzzling to me is this: in most cases, both men and women say that they made love only if there was sexual intercourse with penetration – I have repeatedly noted this in conversations with patients.
If they just caressed each other, but without penetration, then, even if the caresses were accompanied by an orgasm, they would not say about it: “We made love.”
In fact, the main question is why people make love. Is it just to remove or reduce the voltage by discharging, or is it about something else?
If this is just a way of defusing, then we are approaching the understanding of sex that is present in the Judeo-Christian picture of the world. If sex is not limited to this, then foreplay in itself is exciting for partners, because it creates a dialogue that enriches and nourishes their relationship. At this moment, a man discovers pleasure that is not associated with the genital area, which he usually fully manages to appreciate.
Mireille Bonierbal, psychiatrist, sexologist:
Quite right, a woman needs foreplay more than a man. So some men are mistaken when they think that by caressing exclusively the genitals, they give pleasure to a woman, because they themselves would like it. In this case, the woman may even get the impression that she is perceived as a thing.
It’s not about mastering a set of techniques; rather, a prelude is an opportunity to give a new dimension to relationships with the world
But if a man agrees to delve into the meaning that a woman gives to foreplay, he will thereby reach a level of richer emotions and more interaction. Then the way he makes love will reflect his attitude towards people in general.
This is not about mastering a set of techniques; rather, there is an opportunity to give a new dimension to the relationship with the world. Serious efforts are required from a man on this path; it is easier for a woman, because much is given to her by nature.