A visit to the gynecologist: why it scares us

Every time before visiting a gynecologist, we worry and worry. Many postpone this meeting, and each of us has our own reasons for this. Some still shudder, remembering the unsuccessful contact with the doctor, others live with the knowledge of their mother’s or grandmother’s problems “in the female part” and worry that they themselves will face them. To others, it seems that their problems are insignificant or not problems at all …

“The fears associated with visiting the gynecological office are partly generated by the lack of the habit of monitoring women’s health,” says psychologist Ekaterina Antropova. Few people practiced regular check-ups, and few passed this skill on to their daughters. But the rest have to develop such a habit on their own.

I’m going to “you”

Learning new things and acquiring new skills is never easy. Unfortunately, even today we are not immune from possible troubles, even if we turn to a renowned and expensive specialist.

“A friend gave me the contact of her gynecologist, Ph.D. and an employee of one of the medical universities,” says Irina, 33. — I expected this specialist to be polite and attentive. But in the end I was disappointed: he conducted the inspection very quickly, touched rudely and did not answer my questions. The icing on the cake was the recommendation “to give birth urgently because of age,” although my health is all right. I won’t go to him again.”

When faced with impoliteness, we can usually stand up for ourselves. But visiting a doctor is stressful, and it is no wonder that we are not always ready to orient ourselves in the situation instantly.

“Gynecological examination is a very delicate process, a woman at this moment can feel a strong vulnerability,” Ekaterina Antropova is sure. “It’s normal to be vulnerable, and it’s normal to tell the doctor about it and ask him to be more careful with you.”

It should be remembered that the rules of politeness must be observed not only by a specialist. Yes, you came for his expert opinion and you may have paid for the appointment. And yet, if we are rude ourselves, it is unlikely that a specialist will be disposed towards us.

“A negative reaction usually occurs in response to aggression, overhead or accusation,” the expert explains. “But if your request is worded politely and without attacks, any adequate professional will meet you halfway.”

Everything is important!

“It was painful for me to have sex, although my man tried to act gently, without pressure,” says Olga, 27 years old. – At the same time, I felt excited and therefore every time I was very upset, I did not understand what was wrong with me. My partner persuaded me to go to the gynecologist, and I was diagnosed with endometriosis. Now I am cured. My only regret is that I didn’t see a doctor sooner…”

The meager knowledge of how the female reproductive system works sometimes does not allow us to understand that we even have some kind of problem. Experiencing discomfort and even pain during sex, we can consider this normal. And in a sense, this is also “greetings from the past”.

“In Soviet times, sex was a taboo topic for conversation, and this taboo also influenced medicine,” says the psychologist. – In gynecological rooms, the focus was on the reproductive health of the woman, and not on her sexual health.

Basically, women were examined by a gynecologist only when necessary – on issues of pregnancy or its termination, with severe pain. And such things as, for example, discomfort during intercourse, were rarely taken into account.

Fortunately, times are changing. And a good specialist will not dismiss our problems. In addition, today sparing and progressive methods of treatment are available to us, which will return not only health, but also pleasure.

I don’t see any problems, so there aren’t any?

“I put off going to the doctor for years,” says Anna, 42. – My grandmother had fibroids, her uterus was removed – and the women in my family often discussed this. It seemed to me that if I did not go to the gynecologist, then as if I would not get sick! I understand it sounds stupid. But the fear of repeating the fate of my grandmother was stronger than me …

At the beginning of this year, I still overcame myself and visited a gynecologist. I did an ultrasound, passed the tests – and it turned out that everything was fine with me! The doctor was very polite and answered all my questions. I’m still scared, but I decided to check every six months, you never know…”

If we are lucky enough to find a specialist who suits us in everything, it is worth holding on to him – and try to keep a schedule of visits. So we can introduce a new, useful habit into our lives.

“Of course, successful repeated experience helps to consolidate the skill – and reduce fear,” the expert recalls. — Fear is a reaction to the unknown, to an unusual situation. If the examination procedure is familiar to a person, if it has become a familiar, routine event, then it is easier for him to enter the office, and there will be less fear.

Alas, some things are beyond our control – including the development of diseases. But we can still take care of ourselves and get through health challenges in the best way we can by taking care of ourselves and asking for support when we need it.”