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A student fell in love with a teacher: how to find out and what to do
And most importantly, what to do if a school romance still happened?
The other day in St. Petersburg, a story thundered: a 42-year-old English teacher committed suicide out of love for a 17-year-old student. The girl’s previous friend returned from the army and allegedly harshly rejected the man in love.
Is it okay for an adult teacher to have a close relationship with a schoolgirl? Of course not. What to do in this case for parents, Woman’s Day found out from the doctor of medical sciences, professor, rector of the Institute of Psychology and Sexology of St. Petersburg Lev Scheglova.
Falling in love with a teacher is a frequent occurrence. Especially at the age of 17, when a young man (or girl), on the one hand, is almost an adult, on the other, cannot always control his emotions and desires. There is nothing exotic in this.
The objects for such a young love just often become a person who is significant for a teenager – a teacher, coach, mentor. Someone who is older, more experienced and possibly smarter.
It is almost impossible to recognize by external signs that a son or daughter has entered too close a relationship with a teacher or teacher.
Of course, parents may notice a certain nervousness, detachment, focus on their inner experiences. But this does not mean at all that a teenager necessarily has a sexual relationship with a teacher. The reasons for this condition can be very different.
What if the child is really in love?
There is no particular danger that a child has fallen in love with a teacher. In the same way, she could fall in love with a neighbor, a plumber, a doctor in a district clinic. But falling in love is one thing, sex is another.
According to Russian law, the “age of consent” is 16 years old. That is, if a son or daughter declares: “I love – I cannot, and I will love”, it is difficult to fight. Legally, the teacher or the teacher does not break the law. But he violated moral and ethical standards.
What, in this case, do dads and moms who suddenly found out about the connection of their child with the teacher?
If a teenager is under 16 years old, go to the police. And if older, then – to the director, to deal with the teacher who broke the distance. In addition, sometimes it happens that the teacher takes advantage of his official position and forces the student into a relationship: “I can give you 5, but I can give you 2.”
But it is imperative to understand. And keep in mind that sometimes students can slander the teacher in order to get revenge on him for something. Young handsome male teachers are at risk.
How to avoid a school romance?
An addiction has been established: if in the family a teenager receives less love and attention than he needs, this leads to an earlier start of his sexual life. So, through close relationships with an adult uncle or aunt, including a teacher or a teacher, the child seeks warmth.